On My Knees Page 73



After the introductions, Jackson goes back to gather Ronnie, and I hang behind. “If you’re worried about him watching her while he does the community service thing, you don’t need to be. I’m happy to help.”

“No. That’s not it. She just needs to come with me.”

“But if he’s willing to watch her and bring her—”

“That’s not his job.” She snaps out the words, and I decide that I should probably keep my nose out of this.

I go with Jackson to put them in the taxi. I give Ronnie a big hug and get a sloppy kiss on my cheek in return. Jackson does the same, and is similarly rewarded. He hugs Megan, and we stand back as the taxi pulls out, watching the little girl waving at us from the window.

“God, I adore that kid.”

“I’m not surprised. She’s pretty adorable.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t meet Megan at her best. She’s under a lot of stress.”

“I get it,” I say. “Single parenting must be hard. What about Ronnie’s biological dad?”

Jackson hesitates, then shakes his head. “He wasn’t in the picture.”

“That’s a shame.”

Jackson leads the way down a stone path, and I walk beside him, holding his hand.

“Is it?”

I look at him, confused. “What?”

“It’s just that everyone says it’s hard to grow up without a father. But look at you and me. We probably would have been better off.”

I consider what he says, and I can’t deny there’s merit. “I guess it’s the kind of question that can only be answered in the specific. How can we say which would be better for Ronnie without knowing all the details? As for you and me—” I cut myself off with a shake of my head. “These are the kinds of big philosophical questions you shouldn’t discuss without wine. Because if I grew up without a dad, does that mean Ethan would have died?”

He looks at me, then kisses my forehead. “I guess all we can do is live the life we have.”

“Together?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good answer,” I say.

We pause to watch some kids playing catch with parents and volunteers. I lean against him, and he wraps his arms around me. It feels nice. It feels comfortable. And though I don’t want the moment to end, I can’t help the way my mind wanders, thinking about this place, these people. Ollie. Charles.

“You tensed up,” Jackson says, and I frown for being so transparent. “What are you thinking?”

“About what Damien said Friday night,” I admit. “About Reed bringing a civil lawsuit now that the criminal one is wrapped.”

“Mmm.”

“I saw Charles. Have you talked to him about that?”

“That and other things,” Jackson says. “He thinks it’s likely Reed will use the threat of a civil suit as leverage. And since I pled guilty to assault, it’s pretty much a lock.”

“You’d end up paying him damages.”

“Or I let him do the movie and he drops the case.”

“Asshole.”

“I agree. Of course, I had Charles relay that I’ll pay the damages. I can’t predict what they’ll be, of course, but my bank account is doing fine. And I’m not one to bend over to blackmail.”

I shudder. “It’s all such a mess.”

“There’s some good news, at least. Charles told me that Ollie is working hard with Cass. He thinks it’s a good business for franchising and she’s asking all the right questions. Doing her homework. Playing it safe even while making the leap.”

“That is good news.”

He tells me more about who he’s chatted with as we continue down the stone path. We’ve gone quite far before I realize that Jackson is supposed to be working this function. When I call him out for slacking off, he just laughs.

“I still have a few minutes of my free hour. Plus, I’m on my way to my next job.”

“Which is?”

He gives me a flat-eyed stare. “Apparently, I get to be my brother.”

I’m baffled until we arrive at the portable sport court that has been set up as a small tennis court. Damien is there, hitting a ball back and forth over the net with a boy who looks to be about eight.

He sees us and waves, then calls over one of the volunteers to take over for him. He says a few words to the kid, then joins us.

“Thanks for doing this,” Damien says. “I think you’ll enjoy it. The kids get so excited when they hit the ball.”

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