On My Knees Page 47
And yet never once has he told me why he punched out that screenwriter. Why he doesn’t want to see the movie come to life. And I have no clue what is so goddamn private within that family that the world would come crashing down if Hollywood looked through the lens.
And, most important, I don’t know why it matters so much to Jackson, who wasn’t even in the same state when the murder-suicide occurred.
So, yeah. I’m a little touchy on the subject. And all the more so now that even Cass thinks Jackson’s silence with me on the subject is more than a little odd.
Right now, however, that’s not what I’m focused on. Instead, I just want to get to Jackson, but that’s getting harder and harder, because the crowd has realized that Elliott is nearby and it’s moving in, circling tight around the two of them. And though I keep trying to see Jackson again, the crowd is just too deep.
“Dammit,” I curse. And then, when there is a gap in the crowd and I finally do get a glimpse, I repeat the curse with even more ferocity as Jackson stands. And I seriously fear for Graham’s very pretty movie-star face. Because at that moment, Jackson looks ready to explode.
“Cass.” My voice is tight, urgent. I start to shove through the crowd toward him, but Cass gets in front of me. She’s taller than me, and bulldozes a path through the swarm.
As soon as we reach the edge of the dance floor, I burst past her, no longer shy about using elbows to shove my way to Jackson. He’s standing now, and his fist is clenched. And I have a sudden premonition of the front page of Variety showing him and me and Cass and Graham Elliott all in a sprawl with fists and feet and teeth and fingernails.
It’s not a pretty mental image. And one I very much want to avoid.
I grab Jackson’s arm, my fingers closing tight around him. “With me,” I say. “Now.”
For a moment, I think he’s actually going to argue. Then he surges forward, pulling me through the crowd with him until we reach the end of the bar. We round the corner for the hall that leads to the restrooms, and the instant we are past the turn, Jackson lashes out, slamming his fist against the wall and, fortunately, not injuring the hardwood paneling.
I’m not sure if the same can be said for his hand, and I cry out in surprise and worry. “Jackson! Are you okay?”
I start to reach for his hand, wanting to make sure he didn’t break the skin, but instead, he shoves me back so that I am pressed against the wall and his arms are caging me.
The unexpected motion has knocked the wind out of me, and I suck in a hard breath, then look up at his face. It’s raw. Feral. I feel a bit like his prey. And though I know that he is angry right now—that he is wild—I cannot deny the excitement that is arcing between the two of us. That is filling me. Making me wet and hot and oh, so very ready.
And before I can even form a coherent thought, his mouth crushes mine, hot and hard and demanding.
I open to him immediately, almost instinctually. Tremors of excitement course through me, and all I can think is that I need. But even as I spread my legs in response to the silent demand of his thigh pressing against me, a small rational voice in my head is yelling for us to get out of there. It’s reminding me of cameras and crowds and that this could be a very, very, very bad idea.
“Jackson.” His name is ripped from me when he breaks our kiss for breath. “The crowd.”
The word seems to bring him back to himself, and he takes a single step away from me. He is breathing hard—so am I.
“The office.” He grinds out the words. “Where?”
It takes a moment for the words to make sense, but once my mind starts interpreting English again, I lead him to the stairs that head up to the club manager’s office. It’s empty now, and I punch in the key code, then draw him in. One entire wall is one-way glass and looks out over the main dance floor. Through it, colored lights now burst in, filling the otherwise darkened office.
Right now, though, I’m not thinking about the dance floor or the lights or anything other than Jackson’s hands on me. His body pressed hard against mine as he slams the door shut with his foot.
He grabs me up, and I hook my legs around his waist. I cling to his neck as his mouth finds mine even as he stumbles backward, finally slamming us against that wall of glass.
I slide down his body until my feet find the ground. My skirt doesn’t follow, and it’s up around my waist, and somehow in the midst of all that, Jackson’s hand ended up between my thighs. “Did you mean it?” he asks as his fingers push aside the band of my underwear. “Did you mean what you said about using you when I want to beat the shit out of somebody?”