I swallow hard and concentrate on the drive. Even though it’s not the first time he’s said it, it doesn’t make it any easier to hear. Especially when I relate it to me and my life and the long list of good-byes I have to look forward to.

“Do you mind taking me home?” he asks, the request jolting me right out of my thoughts as I gape at him in surprise. I was sure he’d try to drag me off to the pavilion again, and to be honest I had no plans to deny him.

“Miles is meeting me back at the house. I told him I’d help him run some lines for a play he’s auditioning for.”

I shake my head and laugh, making a right on Coast Highway before stealing a quick peek at him. “Got any time in there for me, you know, amongst all of these playdates of yours?” Only partially teasing as I press the accelerator and cruise along the winding curves.

“Always.” He smiles, leaning in to kiss me but ending up distracting me so badly I nearly run the car off the road.

I push him away and right the wheel again. Gazing out at the ocean, watching the waves turn to foaming white froth as they crash against the shore, and clearing my throat as I turn to him and say, “Damen, what are we gonna do about the antidote?” Seeing the way his shoulders stiffen, feeling the way his energy shifts and changes but still forging ahead, knowing it has to be said. “I mean, I’m fully committed to you, tous , I think you know that by now. And as much as I enjoy our time in the pavilion, well—” I swallow hard, I’ve never been much good at discussing this kind of thing, I always end up a red-faced, embarrassed, sputtering mess, but still, I’m determined to get to it. “Imiss you. I miss being able to touch you inthis life. Not to mention I was hoping that someday we could break this four-hundred-year-old-dry spell and—”

I pause before his gate, waving at Sheila, who motions us in. Taking the hill and the series of turns that lead to his street, before braking in his driveway and swiveling in my seat until I’m fully facing him.

Just about to finish the thought when he says, “Ever, Iknow . Believe me, I do.” He reaches for me, cups his hand to the side of my face, as his eyes fix on mine. “And I haven’t given up. I’ve even gone so far as to turn the wine cellar into a sort of chemistry lab—and I’ve spent every spare moment in there hoping to surprise you.”

My eyes go wide, trying to calculate just how long it’s been since I last poked around Damen’s house, realizing it’s been a while. When I haven’t been avoiding him for one reason or another, we’ve been either training or making out in the pavilion.

“But if the wine cellar is a chem lab, then where do you store the elixir?” I ask, frowning as I try to picture it for myself.

“In the new wine cellar, where the laundry room used to be.”

“And the laundry room?”

“Gone.” He laughs. “But then, I never really saw the point of it anyway, when I can just manifest new, clean stuff whenever I need it.” But his smile soon fades when he says, “But, Ever, I don’t want to get your hopes up, because while I haven’t given up trying, well, so far at least, it’s been pretty slow going. I have no idea what Roman put in that drink, but everything I’ve tried up to this point has failed.”

I sigh, pushing my cheek hard against his palm, aware of thealmost feel of his skin upon mine. Telling myself it’s enough, that it will always be enough, but even though I’m fully committed to that, I still can’t help wishing formore .

“We have to get that shirt.” My gaze meets his. “Wehave to find it. Iknow she still has it. There’s no way she’d get rid of it. She’s either keeping it for sentimental reasons or because she knows what it’s worth to me, or both. But, either way, it’s pretty much our only hope at this point.”

He looks at me in the exact same way he did the last time we discussed it—in full agreement that it is indeed important but completely unwilling to pin all of his hopes upon it.

“Surely it’s not ouronly hope?” he says.

But I shake my head. I’m not patient like him. I don’t want to spend the next several years enjoying brief respites in the various guises of my former self, just so we can enjoy a chaste smooch now and then, while he fiddles around in his former wine-cellar-turned-chem-lab on the side. I want to enjoythis life.

The one I’m in now.

I want to enjoy it as fully and normally as any other girl would.

And I want to enjoy it withhim .

“I can’t talk you out of this, can I?” he says, his voice as resigned as his sigh.

I shake my head again.

“Then I’m going with you.”

“Going where? I haven’t admitted to going anywhere.”

“Aw, maybe not, but a plan is surely forming, I can see it in your eyes. So you better make room for one more, because I’m coming with.”

“No, you hang with Miles, I’ll be fine. Really.”

But despite my protest, he’s already grabbing his phone, already texting Miles and telling him he’s got an errand to run so he’ll be a little late.

“So, where should we start?” he asks, pocketing his cell.

“The store.” I nod, having just confirmed it for myself. “But really, you don’t have to come, I’ll be fine on my own,” I add, giving him one last chance to back out.

“Forget it.” He buckles his seat belt again. “I’m coming along whether you like it or not. And just so you know, all this refusal, well, it’s really starting to give me a complex.”