I swallow hard. Swallow my words, knowing I have no real choice but to wait for him to continue. I came here not just to talk about Haven and all the ways he could go about protecting himself from her, but also to try to determine just what his intentions were the night he killed Roman.

What was he thinking?

What’s the real reason he did what he did?

But now, after all this, there is no way that conversation is going to happen anytime soon.

“—there’s just…” He shakes his head and breaks the gaze, squinting far into the distance when he says, “There’s just so much to take care of—the house, the store, the funeral arrangements…” He takes a deep breath, takes a moment to compose himself. “And I guess I’m just a little overwhelmed at the moment. And since you already know how everything works around here, it would be a huge help if you could stay and close up. But if not, no worries. I can probably try Ava, or even Honor I guess, but since you’re already here, and since you already offered—I just figured—”

Honor. His friend-slash-trainee Honor. Yet another topic we’ll have to discuss at some point.

“Not a problem.” I nod, eager to assure him. “I’m ready and willing to stay and work for as long as you need.” Knowing that if Sabine somehow finds out, it willnot go over well, not in the least. But then again, it’s really none of her business. And if she chooses to make it her business, well, she can’t really fault me for helping a friend in his time of deep need.

Friend?

I look at Jude again, my eyes grazing over him, studying him carefully. No longer sure if the word still applies, or if it ever really did. We shared a past. We share a present. That’s all I really know at this point.

He sighs and shuts his eyes, his fingers moving over the lids, past the spliced brow, before dropping to the desk and gripping the sides as he stands. Taking a moment to dig deep into the front pocket of his jeans, fingers fishing around until he finds the bulky ring of keys he tosses toward me.

“Do you mind locking up?” He makes his way around the desk as I rise to my feet, the two of us suddenly finding ourselves face-to-face, sharing an awkwardly close proximity.

Close enough for me to take in the depths of those blue-green eyes—to feel the lull and sway of the wave of calm his mere presence brings.

Close enough to prompt me to take a step back, an act that causes a flash of pain to flit across his gaze.

Waving my hand at the keys when I say, “I don’t actually need those, you know.”

He looks me over for a moment, then nods and pockets them again.

The silence lingering between us for so long, I’m desperate to break it when I say, “Listen, Jude, I—”

But when his eyes meet mine, his amazing aqua gaze reduced to a bottomless sea of loss, I know I can’t even give him the summarized version of what he needs to know. He’s far too consumed by his grief to care about Haven or the threats she promises to keep—far too depressed to even think about the best ways of defending himself.

“Just…just take all the time you need. That’s all I wanted to say,” I mumble, watching the way he moves, carefully, cautiously, allowing for a wide berth between us, working to avoid any sort of accidental physical contact with me.

But I know it’s more for my benefit than his. His feelings for me haven’t changed, that much is clear.

“Oh and Jude—” I call, noting how quickly he stops, though he refuses to turn. “Be careful out there…

please?”

He nods, his only reply.

“Because later, when things have settled a bit, and you have some time, we really need to—”

Not even giving me a chance to finish before he’s already making his way down the hall.

Discarding the words with a wave of his hand, as he moves through the dark store and into the daylight, disappearing into the warmth of the sun.

Chapter 9

By seven o’clock, the last sale has been rung, the front door locked, and I’m in the back room with my feet propped up on the desk, peering at my cell phone long enough to see that Sabine has left no less than nine messages, all of them demanding to know where I am, when I’ll return, and what possible explanation I could have for flaunting her rules in such a deliberately blatant way.

And even though it makes me feel bad, I don’t return the call. I just turn off my phone, stash it back in my bag, and blow it all off in favor of Summerland.

Stepping through that shimmering veil of soft, golden light and landing right on the front steps of the Great Halls of Learning. Hoping that, once again, it’ll come through in a pinch and provide the answers I seek.

I stand before the door, breath caught in my throat, as I gaze upon the glorious, ever-changing façade of all the world’s most beautiful and wondrous places. Watching as the Taj Mahal morphs into the Parthenon, which turns into the Lotus Temple, which becomes the great pyramids of Giza, and so on, until the doors swing open and I’m swept inside. Taking a moment to gaze all around, wondering if I’ll run into Ava or Jude now that they both know how to get here, but not recognizing anyone, I settle onto one of the long wooden benches, slipping in amongst the monks and rabbis and priests, and various other seekers, before closing my eyes and focusing on the answers I need.

My mind rewinding to the exact moment when Jude’s spilled coffee ran across his desk, just about to race over the side and down to the floor, when he stopped it with his sleeve. Allowing the liquid to seep into the fabric, to blend with the fibers, until it caused a big stain, much like the antidote stained Roman’s white shirt.