“Understood,” Lucy was saying. “I’ll be happy to email you some names of my colleagues not employed by us.”

“Thanks.” Marcus folded his arms. “So, what would a couple do in our position? What should we do?”

“It’s completely individual. It’s up to you both. I’ve said that I think the risk in this case is low to baseline. I counsel couples who can’t tolerate a risk level above baseline, and others do much better with risk.” Lucy paused. “For example, I currently counsel a couple whose testing shows that their baby is anencephalic, which means that he’ll certainly die. They want to continue the pregnancy.”

“Wait, what?” Christine asked, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“The decision to terminate the pregnancy,” Marcus answered matter-of-factly.

“What?” Christine asked him, incredulous. “You mean abortion? Who’s talking about that? I don’t want an abortion.”

“It’s just a possibility. We’re talking about possibilities.”

“It’s not a possibility,” Christine shot back, finding her bearings. “I don’t want an abortion. Do you want an abortion?”

“No, but we’re exploring it.”

“I don’t want to explore it.” Christine noticed that both Lucy and Michelle had fallen abruptly silent. “Is that what this is about? You think we want an abortion?”

“No.” Michelle shook her head, her eyebrows sloping unhappily down. “Christine, on the contrary, my point in bringing Lucy into our session is to show you that your risk of a hereditary issue with your baby is low.”

Lucy nodded. “That’s correct. That’s my sole purpose in being here. I would never dream of directing you, one way or the other. I’m non-directive by training as well as by nature. I view myself as someone who can offer you the best available information with which to make your decision. You make your own decision, as a couple.”

“Do people abort for something like this?” Christine asked, surprised.

Lucy nodded. “We have had patients terminate for less than this, and we don’t judge them. Some patients terminate pregnancies for reasons relating to the health of the child. Others terminate pregnancies of healthy babies for a variety of reasons. It’s well within the parameters of the law, in the first trimester.”

“I’m not talking about whether it’s legal.” Christine didn’t want to get into a political debate, but she couldn’t hold her tongue. “I mean, I believe it’s a personal choice, but I don’t want to abort this baby.”

“Fine,” Marcus said abruptly.

“Good, it’s settled,” Christine said, but she felt shaken to her core. She realized that Marcus must have been thinking about their getting an abortion, but it hadn’t even occurred to her.

Michelle checked her watch. “Okay, folks, I believe Dr. Davidow is free, and he wants to touch base with you both.”

“I’d like that.” Marcus jumped to his feet. He went to the door, and Christine felt the distance between them growing, with her on one side and him on the other, as if the tectonic plates beneath their feet were suddenly shifting, destabilizing their marriage.

“Me, too,” Christine said, rising on shaky knees.

Chapter Nine

“I’m so happy to see you,” Christine said, surprised to find herself tearing up when she gave Dr. Davidow a hug as soon as she’d entered his office.

“I’m happy to see you, too, Christine.” Dr. Davidow released her with a broad, sympathetic smile. His eyes were large, round, and warmly brown, and they were his best feature, mainly because he looked everyone right in the eye, connecting with confidence. His crow’s-feet were well established, since he was in his late forties, and his bulbous nose was an unfortunate echo of his round, bald head. Still, he had always had a big smile for her, even through the toughest times.

“This has not been easy,” Christine blurted out, relieved to release the pressure that had been building up inside. She couldn’t shake off what Marcus had said in the counseling session. She hoped he didn’t mention an abortion to Dr. Davidow.

“I’m sure. I can imagine. As my daughter says, I feel you.” Dr. Davidow turned to Marcus, extending a hand. “I’m sorry this has been so difficult.”

“So am I.” Marcus shook his hand, more stiffly than Christine would have liked, then sat down. She sat down in the leather chair next to him, feeling almost at home in Dr. Davidow’s office. She had gotten some of the worst news of her life here, but more recently had gotten the absolute best, and even in the circumstances, she still trusted their doctor. His office reflected his personality: friendly, unstuffy, but still furnished in a classy way, with a polished glass desk that was remarkably uncluttered except for a new desktop and photos of his family, in matching glass frames. His framed diplomas, certifications, and various awards lined the walls, attesting to the fact that he was one of the top reproductive endocrinologists in Connecticut, and his bookshelf held medical books, more family photographs, and his adored, built-in tropical fish tank. A bluish light glowed faintly from the surface of its water, and a bright yellow fish swam by, wiggling its filmy tail fins.

“So, how did your meeting go with Lucy and Michelle?” Dr. Davidow went around the side of his desk, pulled out his black leather chair, and sat down, patting the knot of his tie, which he had on with a blue shirt and khaki slacks under his long white lab coat.

“I thought it went well,” Christine answered, taking the lead. She didn’t want this meeting to go south, like the previous session. “I feel reassured knowing that the mental illnesses that could cause somebody to be a serial killer aren’t inherited. I thought that was really helpful.”

“I knew you would.” Dr. Davidow smiled again, his forehead relaxing all the way back to the top of his pate. There was a pinkish indenture where his hairline had been, and Christine tried not to look at it, because she sensed it made him self-conscious.

“But it’s still a strange sensation, that our donor could be a killer. I mean, that’s horrifying to me.”

“Of course, I get that.” Dr. Davidow frowned. “I wish I could give you peace of mind as to your donor’s identity, but that’s not possible. I’ll keep lobbying on your behalf with Homestead, but to be realistic, I don’t think I’ll be successful.”