“I sound like a dick, but it’s the truth,” I continue. “Then there were other parties and other girls. My parents got fed up with it after a year or so. They sat me down and told me that they didn’t move all the way back here so I could ‘booze up and slut around every weekend’—their words, not mine. They said that we moved so I could focus on baseball, and that was what I should be doing. If I wanted to party, we could have stayed in Australia, and Dad would be earning triple what he’s making now. I guess that hit home, and I had to really think about what I was doing with my life. I cleaned up after that. Now baseball comes first. But I’m not going to lie to you, Kayla. It doesn’t mean that there haven’t been any girls since that conversation with them.”

   Silence.

   Followed by more silence.

   Then she asks, “Have you ever been in love?”

   “I don’t know . . . Maybe.” Yes, with you.

   “Did the girls you were with ever expect more from you?”

   “No, we were always clear about our intentions before anything happened. In the beginning, there may have been a few who thought that they could be the one, but I was never ready for that.”

   “Did you enjoy it—sex, I mean?”

   “Well, yeah, I’m a guy. We don’t need much to enjoy it—any hole’s a goal. Fuck, that sounded a lot less piggish in my head.”

   She chuckles then falls silent, still massaging my back. She finally speaks up. “I think I must have really sucked at it. I mean, if what you say is right, it should have been enjoyable . . . Like, it doesn’t take much for a guy to enjoy the experience. I wonder why he had to get it from someone else. I must’ve been so horrible at it.”

   I feel like an asshole. “Kayla, I didn’t mean—”

   “No, it’s okay,” she cuts me off.

   I want to turn around and see her face and what emotion she’s hiding behind her words.

   “The worst thing is,” she continues, “he never—not once—gave me an orgasm.”

   Seriously?

   “Maybe,” Kayla says, like she’s deep in her own thoughts, “there is something wrong with me.”

   I can’t help it—I turn over so quickly, she doesn’t even have time to jump off. She’s straddling my hips now, and my hard-on is pressed against her. She feels it and for a split second closes her eyes. She opens them and starts to climb off me. I hold her thighs down to stop her. I don’t really know what I’m doing—I’m scared she may panic and haul ass out of this house.

   Then she moves on top of me.

   We both groan out loud. She blushes red, embarrassed by what she just did, and tries to get off the bed again. My grip on her thighs tightens, and my dick twitches. She must feel it, because she moans from deep in her throat and shifts again—just once, but enough. Her head tilts back, and she closes her eyes.

   “So, never, huh?” I say, trying to keep my voice even.

   She looks at me for a second, still sitting on my hard dick. She looks confused, then understanding dawns on her face. “I’ve been able to take care of myself, you know.” She blushes again and looks away. “But he was never able to—not with his hands or anything . . . Oh my God, this is so embarrassing.” She covers her face with her hands.

   “It’s not embarrassing.” I reach up and remove her hands. “So, like, not even oral? None of it?”

   Kayla shakes her head. “After awhile I had to start faking it, so he would stop trying. I even planned to see a doctor about it—in case something might be physically wrong down there.”

   We haven’t changed positions, so she’s still straddling me and I’m still hard as a rock. “Want to know what I think? I think he’s just a selfish asshole who obviously couldn’t take care of his girl. I should’ve punched him twice when I had the chance.”

   She laughs, which causes her whole body to rock against me in all the good ways. She moans again, and I swear I’ll come if I hear that noise one more time. I slowly move my hands up her thighs and gently push up against her just once. We stare into each other’s eyes. Hers are hooded and filled with lust. If this happens—when this happens—planets are going to collide, and the world around us will probably explode.

   We slowly start rocking together. It feels incredible—better than being inside any girl I’ve ever been with.

   “Jake,” she whispers as she continues rocking against me.

   My hands creep higher on her thighs until they reach over the back of her shorts to the skin above the waistband. I hook my thumb under the material, silently asking, and she nods slowly in response. I move my hands inside her shorts and under her panties, gently cupping her ass. She sighs at the slight touch, and I swear my dick is so hard it could explode.

   I remove one hand, and she whimpers in protest. It may be the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard. I place my hand on the back of her neck and bring her lips down toward mine. It’s early in the morning, so neither of us has brushed our teeth. There’s no way I’m going in for a kiss. Plus, if I’m going to kiss her, I’ll want to taste her—all of her—and I won’t be able to stop. And today, I need to be able to stop. Because I’m afraid that for her it’s too much, too soon. And I don’t want her to regret anything she does with me.

   I kiss her neck. Her torso presses on top of me. With her legs still straddling me, I have one hand on her ass and the other resting lightly on her waist. I begin to lick her skin, and her breathing becomes heavier. She’s practically panting, grinding at a faster rhythm. God, she feels so fucking incredible.

   Her movements become more rushed, and she starts panting louder. I can feel her heart beating against my chest, and I know she’s close. I squeeze her ass more tightly, and with my other hand go for the front of her shorts.

   “Jake!” She comes undone almost instantly, and I surprise myself by letting go, too.

   “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, Kayla.”

TWENTY

JAKE

   Nothing says awkward like coming in your pants while dry humping.

       MIKAYLA

       Nothing like a mind-blowing orgasm to keep a goofy smile on your face.

   Oh my God. Jake fucking Andrews.

   My graduation ceremony is a little dull. It’s nothing compared to Jake’s—I think my school sucks in comparison. When the person up at the podium finally calls my name, everyone claps—mostly pity claps, I assume. It’s a small town, so everyone knows I’m the girl with the dead family. The Andrewses clap the loudest. Jake also does this ridiculously loud wolf whistle that breaks through the air and makes everyone laugh. I also hear Jake’s friends shout my name from far back in the crowd. I had no idea they were coming, but I appreciate so much that they’re here for me.