After a few minutes, the patio door slides open and Julie comes out. She looks at Kayla and smiles shyly.

   “What’s up, JuJu? Did you have a good time at Cindy’s?” I raise my hand for a high five.

   She returns it. “Yeah, I did.” She turns to Kayla. “Hey, Mikayla,” she says. “I’m really sorry about Emily and your parents and about what I said. I didn’t know—”

   “Oh, sweetie.” Kayla slides out of my arms to kneel in front of her. “Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s fine,” she reassures her.

   Julie nods her head slowly then hands Kayla a little wooden box.

   “What’s this?” Kayla asks. She opens it.

   “When I got to Cindy’s house, I told her about Emily and Mr. and Mrs. Jones. We rang the other girls from dance class and together we decided to make these cards for you. Cindy’s mom drove us and we collected them from everyone. I chose the box. I know it’s not much, but we all wrote stuff we liked about Emily and what we remember about her. She always made us laugh. We just thought you might like it, that’s all.”

   Kayla holds the cards in her hands, tears, seemingly endless, flowing from her eyes. She places the box carefully on the ground and gives Julie a gigantic hug. Kayla starts to sob, which makes Julie begin to cry, too. Kayla pulls back and, holding Julie’s face in her hands, wipes away her tears with her thumbs. She looks from Julie to me, then back to Julie.

   “You have just given me the greatest gift in the history of the world,” she tells Julie through her tears. “Emily was so lucky to know you, and so am I.”

   “Can we be friends?” Julie asks hopefully. “You’re staying here for a while, right? Can we hang out and do girl stuff? I always wanted a big sister!”

   Kayla looks at me and I know my smile is huge—I can’t help it. She turns back to Julie. “Of course, sweetheart.”

THIRTEEN

MIKAYLA

   It was the first night I spent in Jake’s bed alone. I slept a couple of hours, which I guess is better than nothing. I can already hear Lisa talking downstairs, which means the funeral director will be here soon.

   I take a shower, mentally thanking Heidi and Lucy for bringing me what I need. I’m not used to bringing clothes with me into the bathroom, because I had my own bathroom at home, too. So when I walk out in nothing but a towel and see Jake standing in front of the dresser, I almost shit myself. I must squeal or something, because he turns around and drops whatever he’s holding.

   “Whoa,” he breathes out. I know he’s trying not to stare, but he’s got that deer-in-headlights look, his eyes glued to my chest. I think I squeal again, because whatever noise I make forces him to snap out of his trance. He turns his back to me and heads for the door, mumbling “Sorry” as he walks out.

   Once I’m fully dressed, I step out of his room and practically walk into him. He’s leaning against the wall.

   “I’m sorry about that . . . I knocked but there was no answer, so I assumed you were downstairs. I just need to get my stuff for training.” Only now do I notice that he’s in full baseball gear, from cap to cleats. It’s hot as hell.

   Wait . . .

   “It’s Monday. Don’t you have school?” I know I do, but I’ve been excused. We’re seniors, so it’s not a big deal. But I hope he’s not skipping because of me.

   “I have permission.” He rolls his eyes. “Besides, it’s senior year. We graduate in two weeks, so who cares, right?”

   “I guess.” I shrug.

   “I actually have a specialist pitching coach from UNC meeting me at the field. We’re going to go over some things to prepare me for the season. They normally don’t come out to individual players like this.”

   “That’s awesome, Jake.” I smile proudly at him.

   “Yeah.” He takes off his cap, runs his hand up and down the back of his head, then puts it back on. It’s a nervous habit of his, I’ve noticed. “It’s just that I might not be here when the funeral director comes.”

   “Oh.” Oh.

   He must sense my panic because he grabs both my hands and bends his head to look into my eyes. “I can cancel, Kayla. It’s not a big deal. I’ll just call—”

   “I’ll be fine, Jake.” I smile, hoping it’s genuine. “Go—you have to. You are a big deal and all.” I try to laugh.

   “Shut up and quit being cute,” he says, flipping his cap backwards. He hugs me tight and kisses my temple, then makes his way into his room to get his gear bag out of the closet. He double-checks that everything is in there, then we walk downstairs hand in hand. I say good-bye to him at the door, and he reassures me that he’s going to try to get back as soon as possible.

   A couple of hours later, the funeral director is sitting opposite me in the family room. He’s brought a bunch of brochures with him, and they’re sprawled all over the coffee table. I space out through most of it, but I know that I have some decisions to make.

   “Will the gathering afterward be held at our establishment or elsewhere?” he asks. His name is Wes—or Les maybe? I’m not sure.

   “It will be held here,” Mandy answers. I look at her, and she just smiles and nods, leaving me speechless.

   “Okay,” Wes/Les confirms. “Have you got a budget in mind?” he asks me.

   Me.

   I shake my head.

   “Have you got numbers on how many guests?”

   Guests? He makes it sound like it’s a fucking party. I shake my head again, staring past him.

   He sighs. “Oh, honey. Let’s have a look at the caskets then, shall we? Let’s start with what we call the junior range, for the child . . .”

   He hands me a brochure and I tense. I cannot breathe. The blood drains from my entire body, and my vision blurs. In the distance, I hear a door open and close. I’m still staring into space when I see Jake. He’s crouching in front of me, cap on backwards, and his hands are cupping my face to get my attention. I focus on him and his concerned look.

   “Hey,” he whispers.

   “Hi,” I whisper back.

   “Would you please give us a minute?” Aunt Lisa asks Wes/Les.

   “No problem, I’ll be just outside.” He closes the family-room door behind him.

   “Are you okay, hun?” Aunt Lisa asks. I nod, never taking my eyes off Jake. “Honey, if you don’t mind, why don’t you let Mandy and me take care of this part?”

   “That’s a great idea,” Mandy agrees. “Why doesn’t Jake take you out for a bit?”