I smile.

Lucas laughs. "She was so mad. She'd always mumble curses whenever she was in there."

"I know," Lucy giggles. "But she never really cursed. She'd just put two random words together, but it was her tone that made it sound like that."

"That's right," he says, like it's a lost memory. "What was that one she'd say every time she opened the cupboards?"

Lucy's head tilts back, as if asking the skies for an answer. "Oh yeah. Balah chicken."

Lucas chuckles. "What the hell is a balah chicken?"

"I don't know," Lucy replies through her laugh. "Dad kept telling her he'd fix it but he never did."

"Yeah, I think Dad liked to feel needed, you know? Like he had a purpose with her... every time she asked him to reach something... I'd catch them smiling at each other when they were in there. Like it was their own private joke."

Lucy sighs. "They loved each other a lot. And they showed it, too. I don't remember a time they were ever apart when he wasn't at work. They always needed to be together, you know? Even if they weren't doing the same things, they were always in the same room... just... loving each other."

He laughs once. "Reminds me of you and Cam."

She turns and glances at me quickly, a slight smile on her lips. "Yeah, like me and Cam."

Logan comes up next to me and nudges my elbow with his. "It's kind of perfect isn't it?"

"What is?" I ask him, my eyes still on Lucy.

I watch as her head throws back in laughter. The sound still so powerful it drowns out all other sounds.

"The universe," he says.

I smile and turn to him, but he's watching Amanda laughing with Micky. "Yeah, man. It really is."

***

We get back to Jake and Micky's, with everyone on a high from Operation Mayhem. Everyone but Lucas. "Seriously, Luce. You broke skin when you bit me. It better not scar. I've gone eighteen years without a single mark on me."

She scoffs. "Seriously, Luke? You have a birthmark on your skull the size of Cam's balls!"

I roar with laughter. I think we all do.

"I do not," he says defensively.

"Yeah you do. You're lucky your hair’s so thick it covers it. Did you seriously not know?"

He runs a hand through his hair. "Are you fucking kidding right now?"

She shakes her head slowly. "Don't ever shave your hair. Unless you want birthballs to be your nickname for life."

That gets another round of laughs.

"Wait," Jake says. "You don't have any scars? No falling off shit... smashing your head on a table... nothing?"

"Nope," Lucas replies, popping the 'p'. He runs both hands down his chest. "I'm flawless."

"I have small ones, but no broken bones or anything," Micky adds.

For the next ten minutes, we share and show each other's stories.

"I win," Ethan shouts. "I have pins in my leg and a huge fucking scar from when I broke my leg."

Amanda pouts. "I'm so sorry, E, you shou—"

He raises his finger to shush her. "Dylan," he deadpans.

And we bow our heads, chuckling as we do.

"I have a scar," Lucy says quietly. "From the lapra—latra—"

"Laparotomy," I tell her. But my eyes widen when I hear others say it too.

Her face falls. "What?" she breathes out, looking at everyone. "How do you guys know?"

Micky shrugs. "Jake and I researched it after you told me about it."

She looks to Logan for an answer. "I already knew what it was, but I kind of looked up how it affected you," he says.

She turns to me. I try to smile, but I don't know if it shows. Then one by one, she looks at each of our friends. And then she sniffs, and I know she's on the verge of tears. "You guys," she cries. She inhales a shaky breath before attempting to speak. "You—" Her sob cuts her off. She covers her face with her hands and raises a finger, asking us to wait.

I put my hand under her tank and rub her back. And when she's ready, she starts again, "You guys are amazing. You're the bestest friends I could have ever asked for." She struggles to speak through her cries. "I mean, after my mom died, and Claudia left, I had no one. I hated the thought of going to school every day with no one there. And then—" She pauses for a moment to try to level her breathing.

"Babe," I say, "It's okay."

She shakes her head. "I need to say this." She turns to the group. "And then Cameron came along, and he made..." She presses a hand to her heart. "He made it hurt less, and then you guys, you became my friends, and you took me in without any question. You made me feel like part of the group and there was no reason behind it... you just did it."

Micky holds Jake's hand and sniffs into his arm.

"You guys, all of you, you became my family. And you've always been there for me no matter what."

I don't really know if it's the alcohol talking, but I let her speak. I let her say what she needs to say.

"And after what happened with me and Cam... you helped us get through it. I can't even..." She drops her head in her hands and cries, harder than I've seen her cry in a long time.

The other girls are crying now, and so am I, but I try to hide my tears and lower my cap.

"Are you okay, baby?" I whisper.

She nods. "I'm okay," she says, her voice level. "I'm okay, Cameron." She turns and looks around the group again. "It's been almost a year and I'm healed. You all helped me heal. And it's not so bad." She shrugs. "I mean the doctors—they said that we couldn't conceive naturally. It doesn't mean anything. We still have options."

I bring her closer, not for her, but for me.

She sniffs a few times and wipes her tears. "We can always do IVF treatment, or even surrogacy. But I don't know, I think..." She glances at me quickly. "I think I'd really like to look into adoption, too."

"Fuck yeah, adoption!" Logan shouts.

It brings on a mix of cries and laughter.

He leans forward, his fist out ready for a bump. She laughs as their fists make contact.

I bring her even closer, pull my cap off and use it to hide our faces. "I'm so proud of you. I love you, Lucy," I tell her, because I've never felt it more than I do right now.

"Forever, Cameron."

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

-CAMERON-

I leave Lucy in bed, quietly snoring. She had a lot to drink last night and we got home pretty late. I tell her that I'll be back in a few hours and that I want to get some work done at the studio. She mumbles an I love you and pulls the covers above her head.

I get in my car, drive past my studio, and with each passing minute I let the nerves build.

*

I rub my palms down my shorts and inhale deeply. I close my eyes and count to five in my head, then I open them and knock on the door before I wuss out.

Tom answers with a smile when he sees me, but then his brows furrow. "Everything okay?" he asks, looking over my shoulder.