More Than Forever Page 52
I sigh and spend the next hour answering her questions as honestly as I can. I have nothing to hide, nothing to lie about.
"I know she's your friend and you have to study and work with her, and I'm trying to be okay with it. I'm trying so hard not to be the annoying jealous girlfriend but it's hard for me."
"I don't know what you want me to do. I can't drop the classes. I can't quit the—"
"I know," she cuts in. "Just... think about my feelings. That's all."
"Okay, babe. That's fair." I lean in and kiss her quickly. And then I test the waters. "How was your study group?"
She looks away. "It was productive," she lies.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
-LUCY-
As much as it hurts me to admit, things have changed. I don't know if it's me, or him, or both of us. Ever since the night at his work when I walked in on him and Roxy 'talking', he's been... off.
He's always busy, which is fine, I get that. But he's also been moody. I try my best to match his moods. When he's happy, I'm genuinely happy. When he's down, I try to support him. For five weeks since that night, I've been trying to do everything I can to be there for him. To be what he needs and what he wants. We've spent every night together, because it's the only time we have. And when he tells me he's stressed and needs a release, I give it to him.
The second Minge leaves the room for class he's on me. "I miss you so much," he whispers.
My hands splay across his chest. His hands work on my breasts while I move on him. He licks his lips as his eyes bore into mine. Our breaths are heavy, uncontrolled by the pure lust that's driving us. He removes his hands and leans on his elbows, taking my nipple into his mouth. His eyes never leave mine. I continue my pace, waiting for the tension to build.
And then it does.
My eyes widen, like it's still a surprise that he can make me come.
"Baby," I pant.
"I know. I got you."
He sits up, grabs my ass roughly and pulls me closer to him.
My head throws back. His hips thrust faster, working me over the edge.
"I wanna see you," he says. He licks his lips again then bites down on his bottom lip when he sees my face. Then he runs his finger along the sweat forming in my hairline.
"Cam!"
"Fuck, Lucy."
His fingers curl in my hair, pulling my face down to his waiting mouth.
We come together.
And then, we fall apart.
He walks into the shower and waits for me to get out to hand me a towel. "Thank you," I tell him.
He's gazing down at the floor, chewing his thumb. I watch his throat bob when he swallows. "You didn't say I love you," he mumbles.
"What do you mean?"
He looks at me now, for seconds that feel like hours while I self-consciously dry my naked body. "After we have sex, you always tell me you love me. You didn't this time. You got off me and went straight in here. Why?"
My eyebrows bunch, but I recover quickly. I try not to let his tone hurt me. "I'm sorry," I step forward and kiss him lightly. "I guess I just thought you had an early class so I didn't want to take up too much of your time."
"It's Tuesday," he clips. "You know I don't start for another hour."
My eyes drop to the floor, and I wait for my heart to stop pounding so hard. For the hurt to stop aching so much. I look up and fake a smile. "I'm sorry." My voice breaks, and I look away before he knows exactly how he made me feel. Because he doesn't need to worry about me, not on top of everything else.
I turn around and slowly start dressing.
His arms curl around my waist, before he wipes his eyes on my shoulder. I feel the warmth of his tears against my skin. "I'm an asshole."
I push down my emotions and settle my hand on the back of his neck. "It's okay, you're stressed."
Sighing, he pulls back and turns me to him. "Four more days, Luce. Four more days and I'll make it up to you." He picks me up by my waist and sits me on the counter, spreading my legs with his hands so he can stand between them. "Just please be patient with me. You deserve so much more than the way I've been treating you lately. You do everything for me, and I don't even appreciate it."
"It's okay—"
"No, it's not Lucy. I feel like you come here and we have sex and that's it. We—"
He must see my gaze drop, because he cuts himself off.
"What?" he whispers. "Is that how you feel? Do you think I use you for sex or something?" His voice cracks. Maybe because he knows he's right.
I keep my eyes down, not wanting him to see my reaction. "I don't think you use me," I tell him. "And it goes both ways, Cam. I mean, I don't have to sleep with you... but I do."
"Why do you?" He lifts my chin so he can see my face. His eyes dart between mine as he takes me in. All of me. "Why?" he repeats.
I hesitate to answer, because I don't want to lie. But I'm scared of how the truth will make him feel.
His brows furrow and his mouth turns down to a frown. "Lucy, why?"
I push down my nerves, and the knot in my throat, and I tell him the truth, even though it kills me. "Because you spend all your time with a girl that I don't trust, and I want you to remember what's waiting for you. I want you to think of me, even when you're with her."
His eyes narrow, and I think that he's about to lose it. About to yell at me like he's never done before. But then his shoulders sag and his features flatten. "Baby," he sighs. He wraps his arms around me—so tight, for so long, that slowly, he pieces us back together again. "I'm so sorry that you feel that insecure about us. I'm sorry that I haven't noticed. I should have." He pulls back slightly. "I don't ever want you to feel like my world doesn't begin and end with you. And I need to cut this shit because one day you're going to wake up and realize that there's someone better out there that's going to treat you right, Luce. And when you do..." His eyes narrow to a glare and a snarl pulls on his lips. His nose scrunches, right before he grunts, "I'll find them, and I'll kill them."
My head throws back in laughter.
He raises an eyebrow. "You think it's funny?"
I nod through my snorts.
"I don't think it's funny," he says, but he's smiling. "Seriously, Luce. I know the woods behind your house pretty well. I'm sure I could hide a dead body in there. I'll make it so it looks like little Logan did it. If any of your brothers were going to kill someone, it's him."
"Stop it," I laugh. "He would not."
"Lucy," he deadpans. "This one time when I was at your house, even before you attacked me with your virgin kisses—" He stops while I let out a cackle. "I poured him a bowl of cereal. He got out of his chair, picked out a knife from the drawer, sat back down and started stabbing the bowl. I asked what the fuck he was doing—but in nicer terms, obviously, because I was still trying to get in your pants... you know what he said?"
I shake my head, my smile in full force.