Mom shakes her head and points between us. “And you’re amicable?”

I shrug. “As long as she keeps her hands off D, I’m good.”

“Wow.” Mom’s eyes widen. “Riley, you’re a lot nicer than I am. If my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend was even around, let alone in the same room, I’d be ripping out her hair and slapping the shit out of her.”

Lucy cackles. “You’re a woman of my own heart, Holly.”

“Right on,” Mom says, high fiving her.

My phone sounds and the girls moan. “Leave it, Ry,” Amanda pleads.

I laugh. “It’s Skype, though. No one’s messaged me on Skype since Dylan’s been back.”

I open the app, my breath catching when I see who it’s from. “Dave?” I whisper.

“O’Brien?” Mom asks.

I nod slowly, focused on the screen. “He sent a video.”

“How?” Lucy asks.

I read the message out loud. “Hey Riley. It’s Mike. I just turned on Davey’s phone and saw that he never sent this to you. Thought you’d like it.”

“Play it,” Mom says.

“Okay.”

They gather around as I stare at the phone, wondering what it could possibly be. I’d spoken to Dave a little while he was there, but he’d never sent a video before.

“Hey, Banks,” Dave says behind the camera.

Dylan’s lying on a bed, his hands behind his head. It looks like they’re in a tent but there doesn’t seem to be anyone else in the room.

“What?” Dylan answers.

“What are you thinking about?

Dylan doesn’t respond.

Dave laughs. “Stupid question. Riley, right?”

“Always Riley.”

“You miss her?”

He moves one hand and rests it on his chest, never once looking over at Dave. “That’s another stupid question.”

“What do you miss most?”

For a long time, Dylan doesn’t answer. Finally, “Are you comfortable, Dave?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, with who you are… around your family and friends. Are you comfortable?”

Dave chuckles. “Have you fucking met me, man? If I wasn’t comfortable with myself, you think I’d be this much of an idiot? I don’t give a fuck what people think. I am who I am.”

“You are who you are,” Dylan mumbles.

“So what’s up? Why are you thinking about it?”

“I don’t know,” Dylan breathes out. “I was just thinking that I wasn’t, you know? My entire life I don’t think I really fit in anywhere. Even growing up I felt distant from my dad and brother… I think because of what happened to my mom. Not that I carried guilt because of it. I didn’t blame myself for her death or anything but I kind of felt like they were privy to something that I wasn’t. When I was a kid I found it hard to make friends, and when I did I still kind of felt like an outsider, you know? All through school, it was the same, until I changed high schools and it got a little better, but still. I was never really comfortable enough to be myself.”

“I’ve never heard Dylan say so much,” Lucy whispers and we all shush her.

“And then?” Dave asks.

Dylan shrugs. “And then I met Riley.”

I gasp, my hand covering my mouth as my heart skips a beat. Mom places her hand on my shoulder, comforting me.

“Riley,” Dave repeats, like my name has so much more meaning that just my name.

“I don’t know, man,” Dylan says, “I don’t know if it’s because I met her at my lowest point and she was accepting of that or…”

“Or what?”

Dylan exhales loudly, both hands on his chest now. “Sometimes she gives me these looks that terrify me.”

“Like she’s going to stab you in your sleep?” Dave asks.

Dylan laughs. “No. Like her world begins and ends with me and I’m scared that I’m going to do something one day and she won’t look at me the same.”

“Oh my god,” I whisper, a sob caught in my throat.

“But… you’re just being yourself around her, right? Like, who you really are,” Dave says.

Dylan nods. “I guess.”

“So why are you scared?”

“Because I never want that feeling to go away.”

“How do you think you look at her?” Dave asks.

“I don’t know,” Dylan mumbles, deep in thought.

“Well, how do you hope she sees you?”

“I hope she knows I love her.”

“Given.”

Dylan sighs. “I hope she sees that she changed me, you know? That it wasn’t just me who helped her get through struggles. I hope she knows that there isn’t a single second I’m away from her when she’s not on my mind. Even when I’m with her, I’m always thinking about her. I think about our future and everything we’re still yet to do. I want her by my side for all of it. She’s…” He chuckles lightly, “…she’s so feisty and fierce and so damn cute. She gets this line on the bridge of her nose when she’s mad and sometimes I purposely annoy her just so I can see that line because it’s the way she was when I first met her, properly you know? And I like remembering that because I’m pretty sure I knew, even then, that there was something about her that I wouldn’t be able to let go of. And I’m fucking lucky, Dave. I’m so fucking lucky that she felt the same because I don’t know what I’d be doing right now if she wasn’t at home waiting for me.” Dylan pauses for a beat, a smile on his lips when he faces Dave. His eyebrows quirk when he sees the camera in his hand but he doesn’t seem to care. “I’m in so fucking deep, man. And I love it. I love her. And I fucking miss her.”

Dave’s heavy breath distorts the speakers.

“You’ll find her one day,” Dylan says.

“Who?”

“Your Riley.”

“I fucking hope so,” Dave says through a chuckle. “You gonna marry her?”

“Isn’t that the plan? I mean, at the base of any relationship, isn’t that the end goal?”

“I guess.”

“Hey,” Dylan says, shifting to his side. “You gonna come to my wedding?”

“Fuck that, Banks. I’m going to be in your wedding.”

Fifty-Eight

Dylan

Logan returns to the living room of the log cabin one of Cameron’s clients had loaned us for the night, wearing a different pair of sweats and a scowl stronger than the whiskey we’re drinking. “Fucking burned my nutsack, assholes!”

Jake holds his stomach, trying to ease the ache from laughing so hard.

“Your face was fucking priceless man,” Cam says. “And the best part…” he breaks off in a fit of laughter. When he’s calm enough, he adds, “We fucking lit it and you moaned Amanda’s name!”

“I was confused!” Logan shouts, slumping down on the couch next to me. “It was so fucking warm, just like her mouth.”