The pressure ground against me, as if my soul had split in two. One part wanted power, the other knew what was right, both of them wanted Curran, and I was torn in the middle.

Drop her and everything will be okay. It’s what she wants.

Drop her.

DROP HER.

. . .

No.

Something snapped inside me, like pieces sliding into place. I gripped that voice inside of me and choked it into silence. “Do not let go!” I barked. “That’s an order.”

“Let me go.” She was weeping. “I’ll go to heaven. I’ll serve you forever in the afterlife.”

“I’m not a god. There is no fucking afterlife heaven where you can serve me. My father made it up. Adora, don’t let go.”

A furry arm gripped the chain below mine and flexed. The enormous weight vanished. Curran pulled the chain up, hand over hand, his face all lion, his eyes burning.

Around us, bodies littered the bridge, the male werehyena’s head lying by his body, his neck a shredded stump where Curran’s teeth had torn flesh and cracked bone. Derek’s sides and legs were drenched in blood. Julie lay slumped in a heap, exhausted. Roman’s face was bloodless.

Curran pulled a weeping Adora onto the bridge and pulled the chain off her.

She covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry, Sharrim. I’m so sorry.”

I saw it in his eyes. This was one straw too many.

“Get the kids into the car,” he said.

“I can . . .”

The expression on his face stopped me cold.

“Get into the car.”

I packed Adora into the Jeep. Curran picked up Julie and carried her in.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I’m tired,” she whispered. “So tired.”

Roman picked himself up and got into the car. Derek limped his way to the Jeep. Curran held the front passenger door open for him. The werewolf crawled into the vehicle. Curran shut the door.

“Go home.”

“Curran . . .”

“Go home,” he repeated, his face iced over.

I started the engine, backed the Jeep up, and turned it around. In the rearview mirror the bridge behind me was empty.

“Is he coming back?” Julie whispered.

“Of course he’s coming back,” I told her. I had no doubt about it. Curran wouldn’t leave me, especially not without talking to me first. “He just needs to cool down.”

“I’m sorry,” Adora whispered.

“It’s okay,” I told Adora. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your fault.”

It was mine.

• • •

I TOOK EVERYONE home. That was all I could do.

The kids had been moving Adora to my old apartment when they were jumped. Derek wanted to fight, but Julie had made a double blood ward to keep him in. Making one took a wallop of power. Making two wiped her out, but her wards had held out against everything Roland’s people were able to throw at them. The werehyena sahanu had run their mouths. Julie was the intended target. They had tracked her to our neighborhood but saw too many of Mahon’s bears. I would have to thank him. So rather than go in, they left a scout and caught up with her, Adora, and Derek on the bridge.

I had taken Saiman back and ripped Adora away from my father. He retaliated by trying to take Julie away from me. There was no going back after this.

Erra wanted a full report. I told her Julie would explain. I didn’t feel like talking.

Derek’s injuries were minor. He bled a lot, but healed quickly. Mine weren’t much either. I’d called Nellie and promised her the sun and the sky if she came to patch everyone up. She did. She also issued Adora and me a sedative. I didn’t take mine.

Nellie left. I’d called in some cavalry and now I sat on the porch, waiting.

Four people emerged from the night and came onto the porch. I’d called the bears Mahon assigned to guard our street. Raoul, short but so broad-shouldered that he looked almost square, stopped by me. “No worries. We’ll sit on them for the night.”

“Thanks. If anything nasty comes up, the wards around the house will hold it off.”

“If anything nasty comes up, we’ll break it.” Lilian patted my hand.

“Thanks, guys.”

I went to the stables and got my giant donkey. Cuddles must’ve sensed that now wasn’t the time for her “special” behavior, so she gave me no trouble. I saddled her and left.

Around me, the city lay steeped in magic. I breathed the night in and tasted the magic on my tongue. We were oddly at peace, the magic and I.

The lights of the feylanterns blinked in the distant windows, enchanted blue sparks fighting against the darkness. I kept riding. I didn’t know where I was going, but I didn’t want to stay in our house. It was our house together. Every memory and everything in it was something we’d made together. It felt like I’d ruined it.

I needed time by myself to think and sort this out. I couldn’t do it at our house, in our bedroom or on our porch. I needed space. Curran would be back. He would stand by me no matter what, and I would stand by him. I didn’t want to be me right this second. If I could’ve crawled out of my skin, I would’ve.

I let Cuddles meander her way through the streets until I raised my head and saw we were in front of my old apartment building. I stared at it. When I worked for the Order I would be coming back exactly like this, except riding Marigold. I’d have to punch my aunt for killing my mule. Too bad she wouldn’t feel it. I must’ve unconsciously given Cuddles some cues. Where to turn, which way to go . . .

Just as well. I put Cuddles into the apartment’s stables, went upstairs, and unlocked the door. I hadn’t had a chance to set any wards after Curran had it remodeled post-my-aunt-wrecking-it, but at least we had put a new door on it. I didn’t have the best luck with doors.

I went inside, pushed the door shut, and sat at my kitchen table.

This used to be Greg’s apartment, and then it was mine. There were memories here too, but a lot of them were mine alone.

I sat at the kitchen table and tried not to think. I felt too bruised inside. Numb.

This is where it all started. When I came to Atlanta to investigate Greg’s death and eventually ended up in this apartment. Life was so much easier back then, when I was a simple merc. Even working for the Order wasn’t too bad. The job wasn’t always straightforward, but I helped people more than I hurt them.