Willa could have sworn she saw white lightning when her body couldn’t take it anymore, and then it burst into a myriad of colors that flashed before her eyes. She blinked rapidly, wanting to see Lucky’s eyes clenched in a desire so painful only she could give him the relief he needed.

 She couldn’t move, but she did have use of her mouth. Instinctively, she turned her head, gently biting into his bicep. He stiffened over her, a deep groan coming from his chest as he stroked his climax inside of her. He then released her legs, moving carefully to her side.

 “Is it normal that I can’t move my legs?” Willa gave her own groan as she tried to lower them back to the mattress.

 Lucky laughed, raising up to massage her legs then helping her to lay them on the bed. Even then, he stroked her, telling her how beautiful she was, how special making her his wife was.

 Willa placed her hand over his mouth. “I don’t need to hear you say all that.” Lucky stared down at her with his heart in his eyes. “You told me all that when you married me.” Willa waved her hand at the rumpled bed. “This is just icing on the cake.”

 Lucky fell back on the bed. “In that case, let’s get you in a hot shower so you won’t be too sore.”

 Willa winced when she sat up on the side of the bed. “I can manage that on my own.”

 Lucky started to protest, but then a cunning look crossed his face before he sat up on the bed, reaching for the remote control. “That’s cool. I’ll play another game. The last one only took an hour and a half.”

 “It didn’t take that long.” She must have stayed in the bathroom longer than she had thought.

 She went to the bathroom door, hearing him start the PS4. Holding the door open, she turned back to him.

 “All right, you can shower with me, but no hogging the water.”

 Lucky jumped out of the bed. “Don’t worry. I always share.”

Chapter 24

 Willa rolled over in the bed, her hand searching for Lucky in the rumpled sheets. Her eyes opened in the dark bedroom. He was gone again. She didn’t have to search for him, knowing he was in the backyard of the church. It was where he went every night when she fell asleep after they made love.

 On their honeymoon, she had believed he had risen to watch the sun rise from the beach. However, when they had returned home, it didn’t take long to realize something was wrong. She had tried to talk to him several times, but he maintained that it was the time he used for his prayers. She believed that, but the prayers weren’t ones of mediation. Willa feared it was much more than that, and he wouldn’t confide in her.

 She climbed out of bed, picking up her robe from the chair beside the bed. The hardwood floors were cool underneath her feet.

 They had only been married for a little over a two months; therefore, she was aware it would take time for him to unburden what was bothering him. Willa was deathly afraid she might be what he was praying about, though. Had he discovered he didn’t love her as much as he had believed? Was she doing something wrong, and he was praying about the best way to tell her?

 She walked down the hallway in the dark, comfortable in the silence and the stillness. They had moved into the pastor’s quarters when they had returned from their honeymoon. They were having her bedroom at her house enlarged into a suite with a sunken bathtub. She was also enlarging her kitchen and putting in new carpet throughout the house. Douglas had given her such good quotes it had been hard to resist the upgrades.

 Lucky had wanted to find a different contractor, complaining that, whenever he had stopped by to check on the work, Douglas had been nowhere around.

 “He’s busy. He works for several people in town. I can’t fire him when he’s doing a great job.”

 Lucky had lost that argument and the one where he had wanted to install new wiring into the house so that everything was controlled by one system.

 “Do you have any idea how much that would cost?” She had fought against it until Lucky had offered to pay for it. Seeing that he really wanted it, she caved yet did an internet search for the cheapest system.

 She opened the door to the church’s backyard, seeing Lucky standing with only a pair of shorts on, his skin gleaming with sweat.

 “Lucky?” she spoke softly, not wanting to interrupt, but she was concerned for her husband.

 “Go inside, Willa. I’ll be there in a little while.”

 Although she thought about refusing to be sent away again, the tense way he was holding himself made her wary.

 “Okay. Take your time.” Willa bit her lip, tempted to try again. She wanted to say something that would reach him so he would talk to her, tell her anything.

 “I love you.”

 “I love you, Willa.” The tone in his voice brought tears to her eyes.

 Since moving into the church, she had taken over the huge kitchen. Because the women provided meals for seniors, it had already been approved for food preparation, and Lucky had gained permission from the church deacons for her to do her baking there. She finally had the space she needed, which had almost tripled the desserts she made each week. Willa was ecstatic to be able to produce more without the added cost of overhead. He had even bought her two display cases that he had put in the church store. She was able to sell her desserts and give the church a percentage of the profits.

 Her life was falling neatly into place. She took over Bible studies, baked in her free time, and was able to support Lucky as pastor when he needed her by his side.

 She looked over her shoulder before going inside, torn to go to him.

 Pain and loneliness shrouded him in the morning mist.

 “God, please help him find what he’s searching for.”

 * * *

 Lucky heard the door close as Willa went back inside. He had heard her when she had come outside, but he hadn’t turned to face her. He couldn’t. The nightmare that awakened him still had him in its grip. He had prayed when they had married that he would be able to sleep next to Willa, that his love for her would keep the nightmare at bay. He had realized his mistake when he woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and shaking. The strange hotel hadn’t helped, either. He had jerked clumsily out of bed, but thankfully, Willa had been too exhausted to feel him leave.

 Each night for the first two weeks, he had tried to fall asleep next to her yet had woken with the same fear churning in his gut. Since then, he had dozed at night, making sure to schedule two hours in the morning to sleep in his office. In the evening, he would tell Willa he had sermons to write and would sleep another two then.

 The smell of bacon lured him from the early morning sun rising. Going inside, he bypassed the kitchen to go upstairs to shower and change. He came out of the shower to find a suit neatly pressed, lying on the bed. She had even shined his shoes and laid a matching pair of socks and tie perfectly positioned on the bed.

 She did the same thing every morning, making his breakfast and laying out his clothes. She worked to anticipate his every need. She would fix his lunch, keep a pot of coffee warming, and even his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies sat in a container on the kitchen counter.