“That’s it. If you feel like you’re losing it, take a deep breath and you’ll know where you are.”

It was a life raft, Ben realized. Something to help hold him in the here and now. It wasn’t that he feared the sex. No, bottoming hadn’t been what he thought he would want but there was no fear. No bad memories of sex. It was just the ropes because of Javier and when his mind started to spiral out of control, he went to everything bad that had ever happened. It was like a loose thread that kept unraveling.

“Do it again. Take a deep breath.”

Ben inhaled and it tethered him to the moment when he hadn’t even realized he’d been losing it.

“I’m going to fuck you now.”

Ben held onto the blanket, not sure if Dante wanted him to touch him. He squeezed tighter when he felt the tip of Dante’s erection at his anus.

“Relax, or I stop. Don’t think. You’re making me feel like I’m not doing my job. Is that what you want?” Dante asked him.

Ben jerked his eyes open, only to still be in darkness because of the blindfold. “No,” was the only thing he managed to say before Dante started to push inside again. Physically, his body fought against it, against the pain and the breach, but another part of him, another part craved it, wanted to grab Dante’s ass and pull him inside himself, deep and hard.

And then Dante thrust his hips forward, burying himself to the hilt in one shove of his hips. Ben’s ass burned, but damned if it wasn’t a welcomed sting as Dante pounded into him over and over. He kept his hands wrapped up in the blanket, angry at himself for not being able to let Dante tie him up. He wasn’t giving Dante what he needed in that. Dante gave Ben what he needed and Ben should be able to do the same for Dante.

He didn’t miss the fact that he couldn’t see. It was what Dante wanted, and he made it so Ben didn’t have to think.

Dante fucked him hard. With each thrust Ben moved up the bed. His insides were on fire, pleasure setting them aflame. He was being fucked. He had someone inside him for the first time since Tristan...and in this moment, it definitely wasn’t Tristan he wanted. Ben didn’t know if it was Dante he craved or if it was just suddenly okay to let loose and get fucked but whatever it was, he wanted to hold onto it. He liked the feel of being stretched and knowing that he was at the hands of another man. He wouldn’t even touch himself without Dante’s permission right now and that was okay with him.

“Please,” Ben said because he knew if he said anything else, Dante would stop. He could ask for more but not demand it. As soon as the word left his mouth, Dante’s thrusts became harder.

Ben felt his body shift as Dante must be getting closer before his mouth slammed onto Ben’s again. His kiss matched their fucking—fast and furious with Dante controlling it all. Ben couldn’t see. Wouldn’t let himself touch. All he had was what Dante gave him and in this moment, it was all he needed.

“I knew you’d feel good. Fuck you for that, as well,” Dante said close to Ben’s face before biting his lip and pulling back.

“Fuck your hand, Ben. Stroke yourself.”

Hell yes. Ben untangled one of his hands from the blanket and then wrapped it around his cock. He had no lube but in this moment, he didn’t care. He just wanted friction.

He fucked his own hand as Dante fucked his hole. He smelled the man still, except now there was sex in the air along with Dante’s scent. Ben loved that smell so he inhaled another breath. His orgasm bore down at him, making him ache. His balls were drawing up as he felt himself losing the battle to keep from coming.

“Let go, Ben. Let me see what I do to you.”

The words hardly left Dante’s mouth before Ben shot his load. He called out as he did and then he felt Dante tense above him. Heard Dante breathe deeply as he spilled himself into his condom at the same time as Ben did all over himself. He felt the come there, even though he couldn’t see it. Then felt Dante’s hand as he rubbed it into Ben’s skin before pulling away.

The second he was gone, Ben’s pulse sky-rocketed again. He needed to see. He needed to get the fuck out of here.

“Take it off,” Dante ordered and he ripped the blindfold from his face. Dante pulled off the condom and tossed it into the trash as Ben sat on the end of the bed. His ass hurt. His leg bounced up and down as the whole evening came back to him: his father, memories of his sister, what he asked Dante, losing his mind with the ropes...getting fucked.

“Did it help?” Dante’s voice was cold, detached.

“Yes. For a moment it did.” But right now, he was tumbling and tumbling fast. He didn’t want to look the man in the face. Didn’t want to see the knowledge of Ben’s weakness there.