Lead Me Not Page 108


Devon was furious. He looked ready to spit nails. With Renee still talking to the dispatch officer, he sprinted out the door.

I hastily closed the door behind him and locked it.

“He just left,” Renee was saying into the phone. She sagged down the wall to sit on the floor.

“I don’t think he’ll come back. You don’t need to send anyone. Okay. I will. Thank you.”

She hung up the phone, and her head dropped in her hands. I put my arm around her shoulders.

“I’ve got to go down to the courthouse and file a preliminary restraining order. But maybe he won’t do anything. Maybe he’ll leave me alone now,” Renee said, looking worn down but faintly hopeful.

“I’m not sure. But I think you should get one. For your own peace of mind,” I told her.

Renee nodded, and we were quiet for a while. Then she looked at me, her face weary.

“Why do we do this to ourselves, Aubrey? Why do we give our hearts to men who crush them? I thought Devon was my prince. God, I thought he loved me. I’m such an idiot.” She was sobbing, and I was crying with her. For her. For myself. For every shitty relationship that ended in tears.

“Love shouldn’t feel like this,” Renee said, sniffling through her tears. And she was right. This burning, aching pain deep in my chest shouldn’t be what love feels like. It wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t right. And unfortunately, it just wouldn’t go away.

I was a woman trapped.

“Come on, I’ll go with you to the courthouse. Then I’ll treat you to that chocolate cake you love from Caketopia,” I offered gently.

Renee rubbed the tears from her cheeks and gave me a brave smile.

At least someone was learning from her mistakes before it was too late.

After waiting with Renee to meet with the magistrate, I had stepped outside and, in a moment of weakness, tried to call Maxx again.

So much for my stern resolve.

But I couldn’t help it. My keen sense of dread the longer he stayed off the radar wouldn’t subside.

Of course he didn’t answer.

I had tucked my phone into my pocket, and when Renee was done I had pretended that nothing was wrong. Afterward I had taken Renee to her favorite bakery next to the campus and started plying her with baked goods.

Renee hadn’t cried. She hadn’t wavered in her decision to get the restraining order.

She was downright amazing.

“Aren’t you going to eat those?” Renee asked after polishing off her hot chocolate. I slid the plate toward her.

“Have at ’em,” I said with the best smile I could muster.

My phone started ringing in my pocket, and just like every other time, my heart gave a thrill of hope that it would be Maxx on the other end.

And just like every other time in the past week, I was disappointed that it wasn’t.

I was, however, surprised to see it was Kristie Hinkle, my support group co-facilitator.

“Who is it?” Renee asked, seeing the look on my face.

“My co-facilitator for group,” I replied as the phone continued to ring.

“Well, shouldn’t you answer it?” Renee urged.

I laughed a bit nervously and connected the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Aubrey. I’ll make this quick. I need to meet with you. Today, if possible,” she said, her tone brusque. We had already met for support group this week, so I couldn’t think of any reason she had to meet with me so soon afterward.

“Uh, sure.” I stumbled over my words.

“Good. I’m at my office downtown. Do you know where that is?” she asked. Her voice was cold, and I felt the tingling of alarm along the back of my neck.

“Yes. I think I do,” I responded.

“Can you be here within the hour? I have a meeting later in the afternoon, but I need to talk with you first,” she said.

“I can be there.”

“See you then,” Kristie said and then hung up.

I stared down at my phone for a moment.

“Is everything all right?” Renee asked, wiping her fingers on a napkin.

I gave her another smile, this one fake as hell. “Kristie wants to talk with me at her office in town. Are you okay to head back to the apartment by yourself?” I asked, hating to leave her so soon after the confrontation with Devon.

Renee waved me away. “I’ll be fine. I’m going to go to the library for a while. Keep my mind busy.”

I put my hand over hers. “I can call Kristie back and reschedule if you don’t want to be alone,” I offered, hoping she’d take me up on it. Instinctively, I knew that I wasn’t going to like whatever Kristie wanted to discuss with me.

Renee tried to discreetly wipe away the tears that escaped from her eyes, but I had seen them. She was struggling, and I felt like the shittiest friend on the planet for leaving her right now.

“I’ll meet up with you at the apartment later.” Renee cleared her throat, bowing her head so I wouldn’t see her now red-rimmed eyes.

“It’s okay to cry over him. You loved him. It’s only natural,” I said gently.

Renee lifted her tear-filled eyes and gave me a watery smile.

“He doesn’t deserve my tears, but God help me, I can’t help but cry for him anyway.” Renee sniffled, and I got up to give her a hug.

“I’ll hurry back,” I promised.

Kristie’s office was warm and cozy. She worked at the local community services board, which helped people with addictions and mental health issues living in the city. I had been waiting for only a few minutes when she opened her office door and ushered me inside.

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