“How do you know what I have planned?”

“Grace said you’re planning on tasering Jackal’s ass to make him listen to you.”

“I might have been exaggerating,” Penni lied, glad she had left her purse on the bus. “I said that because, when I tried to call him, he wouldn’t answer my calls. I’ve texted him, but he won’t even answer those, and I’ve sent over a hundred. I begged Grace to ask him to call me. I even took a flight back to Queen City to talk to him, hoping that giving him a week alone after the bombing would make him ready to talk to me again. Casey told me he was living in a hotel room, but they wouldn’t give me the room number. The hotel manager called the police on me.” Penni shook her head wearily. “I almost called you to come down and help me knock some sense into him,” she admitted ruefully.

“Why didn’t you?” Shade’s unemotional voice didn’t hint how he would have responded to her request.

“I didn’t want you to think I was chasing after Jackal the way I did Train.”

“Penni, I can see the difference between the way you feel about them. You love Jackal. You never loved Train.”

“I know.” She choked back a sob. “Has Ice told you how Jackal is doing? He won’t say anything to Grace because he knows she’ll tell me.”

“Sit down, Penni.”

She wanted to remain standing, but she walked across the room, sitting on the couch.

Shade waited until she was seated before he sat down next to her, taking her hand and holding it tightly.

“I’ve seen Jackal. Physically, he’s fine. He’s actually why I’m here.” Shade’s face became closed off. “He wants you to stop calling and texting him.” When Penni tried to jerk her hand away, Shade held it more tightly. “I know this isn’t easy, but what you’re doing is distracting him, and he can’t deal with that right now.

“Jackal has been with me and Cade, searching for Raul. The son of a bitch almost cost twenty men their lives, and Jackal would have been one of them if I hadn’t called in time. He had to leave you behind to do a job he feels needs to be done, or none of us are going to be safe. Not Lily, John, the Last Riders, or the Predators and their families.

“Hennessy lost three men, and Jackal wants that to be the last three people who are killed because of that cartel. Cade and I are flying home, though. I can’t leave Lily and John any longer, and Cade’s baby is due anytime. Jackal, Fade, and Hennessy are trying find him on their own with the DEA’s help.”

“All he had to do was tell me. I can understand wanting to keep his friends safe. I can handle Jackal being in danger. It scares me to death, but I can deal with that. It’s losing him I can’t—”

“You’re missing Jackal’s point of sending me here. It’s not so you will feel better and think you can wait for him until this situation is finished. He wants you to understand the relationship is over. He wants the texts and calls to stop. He wants you to move on with your life.”

“How am I supposed to do that? I hear his voice in my heart. My mind tells me it’s over, but my heart won’t give up. I can’t give up. I love Jackal. I always will.”

The silence between them was broken when they heard Kaden tell the audience “Good night,” and the band began to play their final song of the night.

My love for you consumes me, drowns me.

Baby, why can’t you see you’re mine for eternity.

Like a bird in a cage with nowhere to go,

These tainted hands hold your soul.

I will make you love me, crave me.

Baby, just you wait and see. I will become your disease.

Like a bird in a cage with nowhere to go,

These tainted hands hold your soul.

You flew away.

You didn’t stay.

Baby, why didn’t I see you could be stolen from me.

I’m like a bird in a cage with nowhere to go,

These tainted hands need your soul.

You came back.

My heart was black.

Baby, look and see. You have finally rescued me.

Like a bird in a cage with nowhere to go,

These tainted hands won your soul.

The song had never been so poignantly beautiful to Penni.

“I need to go. The band will be coming in.”

Shade looked down at her. Taking her hands, he helped her to her feet. “I have a flight to catch. Take care, butterfly.” Shade hugged her tightly.

“You haven’t called me a butterfly since I was a little girl.” Penni laid a hand on Shade’s beating heart.

“I remember you always wanted to jump on the bed when I tried to make you go to sleep, telling me to catch you.”

Penni felt a lone tear slip down her cheek. “I felt invincible then. I’m all grown up now, and I know I’m not. Jackal wants me to forget about him. He gave back the key to my apartment, even sent you here to make sure I get his message, but he didn’t send me back the most important thing I need. Tell Jackal, until I get that back … I’ll be waiting.”

Shade brushed her tears away. “I’ll tell him.”

Watching Shade walk away was the hardest thing she had done in her life. She wanted Shade to take her to Jackal. However, she gathered every ounce of control she was capable of and watched him walk out the door, taking the only link of talking to Jackal with him.

She was still Jackal’s woman, even though he didn’t want to accept it. When he had made her his woman, she had become a Predator. What a Predator takes, they don’t give back, and she wasn’t giving Jackal back.

He’s mine.

38

Jackal turned the motorcycle Rider had let him borrow six months ago. Wearily, he stared at the new Predators’ clubhouse that Ice had built while he had been gone.

He was tired, and every bone in his body hurt. He had ridden the last leg of the journey home alone, leaving Hennessy in Colt, Arkansas. And Fade, he was gone.

Jackal went to the door, expecting the room to be half-empty, but all the brothers were waiting for him. Their cheers and yells were a hollow comfort due to the brother he had left behind.

Ice slapped him on his shoulder, shaking his hand. Max gathered him in his bear hug, lifting him off his feet. Stump handed him a bottle of beer. One after another, the brothers greeted him while the women all tearfully kissed him.

Jackal went to the bar, speaking to each of them as he passed until he reached the women lining the bar, the ones who hadn’t been waiting to kiss him hello.

“Hey, Grace, Vida, Casey.”

“Jackal, we’re glad you’re home.” Grace hugged him.

Casey and Vida each waited their turn. He expected recriminations for his treatment of Penni. Instead, they went to their husbands.

“We’ll see you guys later. We’re meeting Sawyer and going shopping.” Grace kissed her husband good-bye.

Casey held her hand out to Max, who grumbled, getting out his wallet to hand her a couple of twenties. When she didn’t move away, he gave her the rest of his cash, showing her it was now empty.

Vida laughed at Colton, who just handed her his credit card.