Get off on the Pain Page 38
I lost it that night, and have been trying since to keep the demons hidden away safely so that I won’t let myself lose control again. The truth is, when it comes to family and the ones I love, nothing can stop me from protecting them.
Protecting them is exactly what I’ll be doing in less than twenty-four hours, when I step into that warehouse. I’ve thought long and hard, trying to figure out the best way to get us both out of this mess, but so far I have come up with nothing. I’ll do what I have to do for now and hope that I can keep my hands clean.
I maneuver my way out of bed, trying my best not to wake her, and walk over to my workout area to release some stress. Gripping the ropes hanging from the ceiling, I pull myself up repeatedly, trying my best to tire myself out.
Visions of what happened six years ago with my father and Alex flash through my mind, instigating my anger and fueling me to push myself, feeding the demon for release.
Alex was a fun loving kid. All he ever did was have fun and make others laugh. There wasn’t a bad bone in him, at least not until my father put his hands on him for the first time, and then continued to hurt him over and over. Each time that he drank it got worse. It started with me, but after I started fighting he backed off and pushed me out of his way, moving me to the guesthouse. He didn’t think I would stick around and keep my eyes on Alex and our mother, but I did.
I drive myself harder. The sweat is pouring down my back and my muscles are beginning to burn now. The pain gives me a rush and only makes me work harder, faster.
I close my eyes again and growl out as I envision Alex through the garage window. He’s on the ground, shielding himself from our father’s blows, but he just keeps pounding into him relentlessly, not even aware that he’s barely breathing. Alex isn’t even attempting to fight back.
I rush over to the door and kick it in before coming at my father, plowing him into the workbench. I start pounding my fist into his face repeatedly until I see blood. There’s blood everywhere, but my anger keeps me going . . .
“Memphis! Can you hear me?”
I shake my head, snapping out of my little trance, before releasing the ropes and falling to my knees on the ground.
I feel Lyric’s hands on my face, arms, and hands as she touches me all over, but my head is spinning and I can’t seem to focus.
“Your hands are all torn up, Memphis. They’re bleeding.”
Leaning my head back, I squeeze my eyes shut and focus on catching my breath. I may be bleeding, but the pain isn’t fazing me one bit. All I see is Alex on the ground, my father not breathing, and my sickly mother standing outside the garage door screaming and crying. She’s so frail that I feel sick.
“Memphis! Dammit!”
I feel a hard slap across my face, causing me to open my eyes and suck in a deep breath, breaking the hypnosis I’m under. My chest suddenly hurts as if I’d been holding my breath the whole time.
Focusing on Lyric’s deep green eyes, I take slow, deep breaths, and grab onto the back of her neck, pulling her closer so that our foreheads are touching.
Having her close to me is like a fucking drug; easing my pain slowly, and bringing me back to the present. All I want is to keep her near and . . . to live. She makes me want hope; something I haven’t wanted or felt in a while, a long while.
Looking into her eyes I brush my lips against hers, gently, feeling the softness of them against mine. “Thank you,” I whisper. She nods her head and lets her soft breath fan my mouth, causing me to run my tongue across her lips for a taste.
Her breath comes out ragged as her body trembles in my arms, showing me that she wants me. Before I can think about what I’m doing, my lips crush against hers and I am on my feet, picking her up with me. Fuck it! I can’t fight this right now and I really don’t want to.
I keep my hands in her hair, tangling them even tighter as I carry her through the bathroom door. I reach out with one hand to turn the water on. Our lips never separate, because I love the feel of her lightly sucking my bottom lip into her mouth as I pull us both into the warm water and just stand here, feeling her in my arms.
I can see the red from my hands and her hair drip into the tub, staining the water as she just stands here, holding my face.
“It’s okay, Memphis. I can handle it.”
I swallow hard, trying to stay in control. Whenever I’m with her I just want to let her feel my pain. I want to let it all loose, but I’m afraid of hurting her like I do everyone else. She’s one person I don’t want to disappoint.
Slamming her against the shower wall, I pin her arms above her head and thrust my hips forward, pressing my hard cock against her body. She moans out as her eyes find mine. She wants more. She always does.
Releasing her hands, I find her panties, tugging on them before ripping them down her legs, waiting as she steps out and kicks them aside. Her hands find my wet hair and tug as I work on removing my boxer briefs.
I slide one hand down her thigh and grip it as I lift up and slide into her. We both moan out as I fill her, stretching her as I push in as deep as I can. She’s so fucking tight that I can’t help but to throb inside her, wanting to release myself.
I hold her hands above her head again as I pound into her repeatedly, lifting her body up with my thrust each time.
The faster I take her, the louder she screams my name, only giving me the fuel to take her longer and deeper.
As soon as my hands release hers, she finds my back and digs her nails in as hard as she can, running them down my back and down to grip my ass. “I love having you inside me, Memphis. Take it out on me. I want to feel you.”
I pause for a second from her words, before I thrust in deep and hard, but then stop. “I want you to fucking feel me, to trust me . . . and to never forget.”
Reaching out, I grip onto her hair and pull it to the side before thrusting again, harder this time, and over and over again until I feel her clenching around my dick, causing me to pull out, allowing my cum to wash down the drain.
We both stand here silently, breathing heavily before I turn the water off and grab for a towel, wrapping it around her. She needs sleep. We both do, even though I know I won’t be sleeping for shit. Especially now.
“Let’s get some sleep.”
I kiss her while walking her backwards until she’s back in my bed and I’m holding her again. Tomorrow night . . . none of this may even matter. Not to her at least.