My mind goes blank, because I really didn’t think Alex would want to hear any details. I mean…we don’t talk about shit like that. I never really asked him personal shit like that when he had started dating Sutton, and I didn’t think he’d ask me. Dudes just didn’t talk about stuff like that. At least I don’t think they do. I’ve never had a woman that I’ve wanted to talk about, so I could be completely wrong about this.

And I have no clue how to go about telling Alex that the woman I’m interested in is Olivia. I had been warned well to stay away from her by Sutton, and I know when it boils down between me and Sutton, Alex’s allegiance will always be with her. So if Sutton is protective of Olivia, Alex is going to be as well.

“Son of a fucking bitch,” Alex says in understanding, taking my lack of an immediate answer as guilt. “You went out with Olivia, didn’t you?”

“So fucking what?” I grumble as I walk back into the locker room and take out my clothes to dress.

“Sutton is going to be so pissed,” Alex says. “I’m going to have to smooth some ruffled feathers.”

“It’s none of Sutton’s business,” I say, getting angrier by the moment over Alex and Sutton’s interference with my love life.

I mean sex life.

“Did you fuck her?” Alex asks in a low voice, and I lose it.

Spinning on him, I bring one forearm across his chest and the other against his throat, and push him back hard into the lockers, which shake with the force of the collision with his body. Pushing my face right up into his, I snarl, “That’s none of your fucking business.”

Alex’s eyes are wide with astonishment, then the fucker starts laughing at me. He can’t move, because I have him pinned by the chest and throat, but the fucker just laughs, and laughs, and laughs.

Frustrated, I release him and step backward, glaring at him. “What is so fucking funny?”

“You are,” Alex says between wheezing gasps. “You’ve got it bad.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…I’ve asked you dozens of times if you’ve fucked a woman that you’ve gone out with, and you always admit that you did. You may not kiss and tell all the deets, but you share with me and anyone else that cares to listen. But this time…you wigged out. Went all caveman, protective of Olivia. Dude…doesn’t matter if you fucked her or not…it’s clear you don’t want anyone even thinking about her in that way. You just told me all I need to know. You’ve got it so bad.”

“Fuck you, Crossman,” I grit out, and turn my back on him. But I can’t help the tiny smile that comes to my face, because, yeah…I think I might have it a little bad for Olivia.

Chapter 8

Olivia

“Are you nervous?” Stevie asks as he holds my hand in a death grip. He’s gone overboard in his attire today, wearing a white V-neck T-shirt, denim cutoff shorts that are cut so high the pockets stick out at the bottom, and a pink sequined vest with fur around the collar.

“No, but clearly you are,” I say as I pull my hand free and give it a shake to get the feeling back into it. “The Ativan seems to be working.”

Thank God.

Dr. Yoffman had prescribed me the antianxiety drug to take before the bone-marrow biopsy this morning. Within about twenty minutes, I felt a peacefulness come over me and wasn’t too wigged out by the fact he’d be punching down into my bone soon.

“I’m cool,” Stevie says, but I can see the wrinkles in his brow from worry. If I told him that, he’d have a major freak-out that he had wrinkles showing, so I hold my tongue.

I’m so grateful Stevie is here with me. I’m so fortunate to have him and Sutton taking turns…going through this process with me. I had a long talk with my mom last night and she’s really upset that she can’t be here with me. She has some vacation available and wanted to come right away, but I urged her to wait until after I started my treatments. I figured that’s when I’d really want her with me.

“Miss Case,” I hear from the doorway. Turning toward the sound, I see Dr. Yoffman’s nurse standing there with a chart in her hand. My pulse picks up a little, but I don’t feel the constricting pressure in my chest I had this morning as I stood in the shower.

While I got ready this morning, I tried to keep my thoughts occupied with Garrett. Last night was far more than I ever expected it would be. Sex for me will never be the same, and I never had a moment’s hesitation when Garrett asked me out again for tonight.

Well, maybe a moment’s hesitation. Part of me felt slightly guilty that I was using him to fill my mind with something other than cancer, and another part felt guilty that I wasn’t even sharing this fact with him. But most of me felt giddy that I would be seeing him again, so as I stood under the hot spray of the shower, when that panicked feeling started to hit, I just closed my eyes and remembered what it was like to have Garrett inside me last night.

I’m slightly shocked he asked me out again. When I made the bold decision to have sex with him, I fully expected it was going to be a one-time-only thing. Joy coursed through me when he asked me out again…but I tried to temper it with the knowledge that Garrett has gone out with a woman more than once. Since three times seems to be his limit, I might have one…maybe two more nights with him, and I’ll take it. And just as I have no problem seeking dependency on Ativan to calm my nerves, while it lasts, I’m going to take advantage of the distraction Garrett provides me from my worries.