“How serious?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” She huffs and steps away. “I waited an hour for you and had to fend off groping hands and bad lines and the worst martini ever poured. Where were you? Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

“Ray…and Tag…” I tell her what happened. How they found Luke. Even the part about sex in the rain, and how Ray drove me home and we said good-bye. And how, when I walked into my apartment, I couldn’t bear to see the half-finished painting on my table or my sketchbook on the table or even the paintings on the wall. Now my walls are stripped bare. My art supplies are in the closet. And I’m resolved to focus on my tattoo work, find new clients, and stay with the team when Slim gets us back into his shop.

For the first time since I’ve known her, Jess is speechless. She stares at me aghast for a few moments and then finally finds her tongue.

“I thought you were happy painting again, and that you were going to take Torment up on his offer to run the Redemption shop.”

“I can’t, Jess. I let Ray get close, I trusted him, and look what happened. I don’t make good decisions. I have no clue about managing a shop. I have one business course under my belt and a few years of watching Slim. If I’m really serious about going out on my own, I should take a few more courses and spend some time with him, learning the management side, perfecting my techniques, and getting better at bringing in clients. Plus, what if it’s not a success? My parents need my help. This way I know I’m always guaranteed a steady stream of income.”

And I don’t have to worry about bumping into Ray every day, or seeing him with someone else, or wondering if he’s going to walk in the door. But I don’t say it, because I’m sure she already knows.

“So you’re just giving up?” Her voice rises so high people turn to stare. “One knock and you fall down? That’s not the Sia I know. Luke gave you the hit of your life and you bounced back. You remade yourself. You gave me the courage to go on.”

“I don’t want to remake myself again. I can’t do it. This Sia is the one I’m comfortable with, so this is who I’m going to be.”

“Seriously?” She scrapes a hand through her hair. “I have never seen you happier than when you were with Ray and painting again. And that day you texted me to tell me you were going to take over the shop and put your art on the wall, I almost exploded with happiness. It was like you were breaking free and you’d found a way to be Sia now and Sia then.”

“He broke my trust.”

“Because he cares,” Jess says. “Because he wanted to protect you. He loves you.”

My breath catches in my throat. “He doesn’t love me. I’m not a lovable type. Too many hang-ups.”

Jess shakes her head. “People don’t do what he just did because of friendship.”

Tears prickle my eyes. “I would do it for you.”

“And I would do it for you.” Jess’s eyes water and she looks away. “But that’s because we love each other. Which is entirely my point.”

We shuffle to the side as more people join the crowd. Blade Saw waves from the other side of the ring, where he is done prepping Rampage for his fight. Rampage looks over at us and grins before he climbs through the ropes to face his opponent, the Dark Knight, who looks anything but dark with his pale skin and light blond hair. He also looks like a child beside Rampage, who has about five inches and one hundred pounds on him.

The ref signals for the fight to begin and Rampage picks up the Dark Knight and tosses him across the ring. The crowd roars. Jess and I cheer. The Dark Knight staggers to his feet while Rampage smirks. Then the Dark Knight launches a full-on assault, running at Rampage like a battering ram. I brace myself for the inevitable. The inevitable happens with the sickening thud of the Dark Knight against Rampage’s chest. Rampage looks down and swats him away. The Dark Knight falls to his knees. We cheer again.

“This is painful to watch.” Jess scrunches her nose. “I like there to be some sport involved. What was the Dark Knight thinking, challenging Rampage? He’s a middleweight at best. Who’s next on the card?”

“I’ve got the lineup on the invitation email.” I paw through my purse, looking for my phone. Damn. Everything is still wet from my little jaunt in the rain. My hand closes over a small plastic disc, and I pull out my pills. Double damn. Not only did I forget to take one last night, but they’ve also turned into little wet smudges of beige. I find my phone and send myself a reminder to pick up a refill tomorrow. If I go first thing, I’ll only have missed two.

After showing her the evening lineup, I tuck my phone away just as Blade Saw saunters over to join us.

Jess frowns. “Aren’t you supposed to be watching Rampage’s back?”

Blade Saw throws an arm around her shoulder and pecks her lightly on the cheek. “Waste of time. Rampage is just toying with him. When the crowd gets bored, he’ll put him out of his misery.” He looks over at me and winks. “Heard a rumor you’d hooked up with the Predator. He’s fighting next.”

“Uh…yeah…it’s just casual.” I roll my eyes at Jess. Redemption is notoriously bad for gossip, worse even than high school. The last thing I need is for Blade Saw to run around telling everyone I confirmed the rumor, when in fact, we’re no longer together.

“That why he told everyone at Redemption to stay away from you this morning?”