“It will be. Christmas we can make a ham. My mom had a family recipe she used for hams. I was lucky enough to get it before things fell apart.” Rhonda gave him a side smile.

“You’re better than they could ever be.”

Another smile. “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.” She surprised him by moving next to him and leaning her head on his shoulder. “How are you doing, son?”

Son. That word made emotion clog in his throat. He almost didn’t want to clear it, figuring he could find a way to breathe around it. That would be better than the feeling going away.

“Could be better. It’s just... things were good, so fuckin’ good, and I knew they wouldn’t last.”

“The three of you?”

“Nah.” Mateo shook his head. “We’re good. I just spent so much fuckin’ time tryin’ to outrun my past, wanting to, but I don’t know if that will ever happen.” Because now he owed favors again. Because now he had a gun that would get him tossed back into prison.

Rhonda sighed and stood up straight. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t outrun your problems. They’ll always be there, nipping at your heels, trying to trip you up.”

“Then what do I do?” he asked.

“You face it the best way you know how. That’s all I can tell you. Me? The way I live? That’s not facing my problems. You are too strong to live like that, mijo.”

Mateo’s eyebrows drew together at her use of the Spanish term of endearment. Rhonda shrugged. “I looked up some Spanish words on the internet. I thought it might be nice if I learned some. They have home courses, too. I’m going to try and fit one into my schedule.” She winked at him.

Dios, she was an incredible woman. She did this for him. To connect with him. She didn’t have to tell Mateo for him to know it.

“Enough about that. Finish what you were saying.” Rhonda nudged him with her arm.

Automatically, the words started flowing again. “Things I’ve done, they’ve hurt a shitload of people. They hurt Jay. With Tristan losing his job, and everything that’s goin’ on now... Most of it ties back to me in one way or another.”

“Tristan didn’t lose his job. He walked away from it. There’s a difference. We always have a choice in life. Even when we don’t think so, there is always a choice, Mateo. I don’t know if the situation at Tristan’s job had anything to do with you, but if it did, he had a hand in it as well, and he chose you and Josiah. That’s what matters. Just like you have choices to make, and you will always choose them. That’s what real love is. You can’t find fault in something that beautiful.”

Mateo cocked his head and looked at her. She had so much knowledge inside her, a way of making him feel important, when only the two men in the other room had been able to do that for him before. She made him feel like he had family, even in a way Tristan and Josiah couldn’t. “Tu eres como una madre para mi en maneras mi madre no lo fue. Gracias. You are a mother to me in ways my own mom wasn’t. Gracias.”

Rhonda’s eyes swelled with tears. “Madre, I like that.”

“I can teach you, if you want. I can give you Spanish lessons. I never taught someone before, but I could do it.”

“I’d like that very much.” Rhonda pulled him into a hug. As they embraced, the timer went off on her oven. She kissed him on the cheek. “Get the other boys and tell them dinner is done.”

Mateo did as she asked. Tristan carved the turkey, and then the four of them sat at the table around more food than they could ever eat. They talked, and laughed, and it was almost as though all the shit wasn’t going on in their lives. For a little while, he was able to forget. For a little while, Mateo was able to do nothing except enjoy the only real family he would ever have.

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

Josiah

“What about a PI?” Josiah asked Tristan as they sat in the kitchen the next night. Mateo was in the shower. They were planning on looking up available properties in and around the area for the new coffeehouse.

“It’s detectable. The last thing we want to do is tie ourselves to New York. If we do anything, it has to be dirty or not at all. I tried a trace but it didn’t work.”

That made sense. Still, he hated sitting around and waiting for things to get worse. He wanted all of this to disappear so they could just live their lives.

That was the optimist in him.

“I’m worried about Teo.”

Tristan nodded. “Me, too. It might not be Javier, though.”