Forged Page 45
“It’s all right,” she soothed him. “It’s going to be all right.”
“You doona know that!” he snapped roughly.
“I do know that!”
“If you know what is good for you, you’ll keep your distance,” he growled at her, another one of those animalistic sounds escaping him. A cross between a huff and a snarl.
“I know what’s good for you and I’m not going anywhere. I want you to talk to me. Tell me more about who you used to be.”
“A slave! A murderer! The sort of man who gets women killed!”
“What does that mean?” she asked carefully, anxiety in her belly in response to his dangerous words.
“There was a Templar woman. Jan Li. She helped me escape my captors … only … she paid for it with her life. She trusted me tae help get her free of those bastards and I failed her. Just like I’m going tae fail you. Only this time ’tis going tae be worse. Much worse. Because you never asked for any of this. You never knew you were going tae be risking your life. ’Tis my fault you’re here at all. That cursed necklace. I would rip it off you if I thought I could do it wi’out hurting you.”
“It’s my fault for putting it on in the first place,” she said softly.
“How the hell would a mortal woman like you even know something like an Amulet came with a curse and certain power attached tae it? In your world things like that should only be make believe.”
“I’m glad I’m not in that world anymore,” she said fiercely. “I’m glad I know it’s all an illusion. I’m glad I’m aware of the nature of things in the world around me.”
“You could have gone the rest of your life, safe and content and no’ knowing abou’ any of it.”
“But I didn’t and I won’t and that’s okay,” she insisted.
“ ’Tis no’ okay tae me,” he said, his tone softening as his hand came out, running along her head and through her hair, the roughness of his calluses catching on the strands. “Jesus God, you’re beautiful,” he said after a moment. It made her smile.
“You’re just saying that because you’re going crazy.”
He laughed. “Doona insult my woman so. You doona want an angry Gargoyle on your hands.”
“I’m not afraid of you,” she whispered fiercely.
“Aye, but you should be,” he whispered back, his forehead coming to touch hers. He took in a slow breath, his lashes fluttering closed before he groaned. “You shouldna be so close tae me. You smell too fine for words.” He opened his eyes and she could see the raw appetite within them. Her breath snagged in her throat and her heart began to pound.
She knew he was going to drag her up to his hungry mouth long before he did it, and she did nothing to stop him. His kiss was like a virulent thing, a beautiful disease that grew and grew and overwhelmed every last defense she had to throw at it. She felt herself melting between his hands as he held her tightly to his body, bending her back over in her kneeling position.
His hand ran up her side, along the curve of her waist, over the ridges of her ribs and then, as gently as he could, he closed his hand over her breast. She drew breath straight from his lungs, her tongue, startled at first, suddenly leaping into the fray, tangling up with his in such an energetic attack that it was like setting fire to stone. Anything that could make stone burn was a powerful force, and she was literally wildfire to him. His mind was hazing over with the passion that was trying to overwhelm him, but he fought it back. He would not be the beast with her.
“No! Get away!” He shoved her away, reaching to unclasp his seat belt and stumbling away from her. “I willna do this tae you! Do you no’ ken? I’ll be a beast wi’ you. I’ll hurt you. You have to keep away from me. Please,” he said, his tone and body settling into quiet. “Please doona let me hurt you.”
“I won’t,” she promised just as quietly. “And you won’t. You couldn’t hurt a woman even if you tried.”
“But I have! Jan Li …”
“It sounds like she knew exactly what she was getting into. And you weren’t the one who hurt her. You have to stop blaming yourself for that.”
He looked up and met her eyes.
“There’s no one else tae blame.”
“There is. You blame those who attacked you. Those who hurt her. You didn’t—”
“I failed her!”
“You didn’t do it on purpose!”
“Neither will I do harm tae you on purpose, but it’ll happen just the same! Now keep your bloody distance woman!”
“Fine. Fine, I’ll keep my distance. I won’t let you touch me.” And Kat tried not to let his actions feel like a rejection. She understood his logic, and yes, he probably was right, but just the same it made her feel as though she were somehow lacking. Because she was a frail mortal. Even frailer than most. She had known that all her life, but not until now had it truly meant something to her. Meant that she honestly could not have something she wanted. Everything else had been easy to live without. Sun. The daylight world. Friends. Normalcy. But none of it had hurt like this. Never had she felt so inadequate. She knew that, had she been a Gargoyle female he wouldn’t be trying to hold back. He would probably take her right then and there, as hard as he could. As mad as he was. And it made her so angry that she couldn’t give that to him. He needed it, and she couldn’t provide it.
Most of the rest of the flight passed in tense silence. He paced the length and width of the cabin so constantly she thought she might go mad.
But she knew that if he didn’t do it, that if he stopped for even a second, he might not move ever again. She could see his hands, again and again rippling into stone. Sometimes it climbed all the way up to his shoulders. He would grit his teeth and fight it back.
She had reseated herself in the cabin, but at last she got up and crossed over to him. She reached to touch him and he jerked away.
“Stop,” she said softly. “Just stop.” She stepped up against his body, fighting his initial resistance and wrapping her arms around him.
“You promised tae stay away,” he ground out.
“And you’re burning energy every step you take. Quiet now. Be still. Shh …” She hushed him and quieted him, hugging him around his middle. After a moment he relaxed in her arms, his hands tentatively resting on her back and shoulders. They stood like that for almost thirty minutes, and never once did his hands flicker into stone. He calmed so much that he sat down with her, pulling her into his lap. He was wary at first, clearly afraid it might spark off something more than just comfort, but in the end he was able to remain peaceful with her in his arms and him in hers.