Forged by Desire Page 28


“What are you up to?”

His fingertips trailed along her jaw and down. Her throat worked as she swallowed, but there was no other sign of movement. “Perhaps I’m trying to assuage my jealousy,” he murmured.

She turned, sinking those small white teeth into his fingers. A sharp nip that drew his gaze to hers. “I meant, what are you up to with Byrnes? You had a certain expression on your face when you asked him to deal with the men.”

He just wanted to keep touching her, but she wouldn’t like this. “Byrnes wants to be guild master,” he said, giving a little shrug as he withdrew his hand. “He needs to grow comfortable with giving the men direction.”

The color drained out of her skin in dramatic fashion and she straightened. “You’re grooming him?” A look of utter horror crossed her face. “No!” She shot to her feet. “You can’t do this. You can’t give up! You can’t—”

“There is no cure for the craving virus,” he admitted. “I’m not giving up, Perry, I’m accepting certain…necessities. Byrnes isn’t a natural leader of men, but he’s ruthless and cunning. He’d stare the prince consort in the eye and tell him no, if he had to. My own prejudices against him are selfish. I can’t leave the guild without a master. Not in these times.”

She was speechless.

“I’ve considered other options, but there are none.” He tipped his chin toward her. “The Echelon would never allow a woman to lead, and Doyle’s humanity works against him.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this!”

“I have a responsibility to the position.” He caught her wrist and dragged her toward him. “Perry, I don’t want to do this. Just let me…let me explain.”

She looked utterly devastated.

“Despite what I think of him at times, Byrnes is smart. Dangerously so. He’s also very good at—”

“That’s enough,” she declared. “I don’t want to hear any more of this.”

No point in pursuing this further. She’d never listen. He caught her fingertips as she tried to pull away. “Come. Sit and talk to me. You and I have some things to discuss.”

Reluctantly Perry let him ease her onto the sofa beside him. “About what?”

“About us.”

She didn’t, as he’d expected, instantly deny there was anything between them. Instead she looked him in the eye. Wary but curious. “Then speak.”

“Things have changed between us,” he said bluntly. “And whether or not I never noticed you before, I’m noticing now. I want you to be my lover.”

A thousand thoughts raced across her eyes and she drew her knees up to her chest. “I’m not certain that would be a good idea. What would the men think?”

Not a no. Not a yes, either.

“In other circumstances, I’d agree. I might have taken my time. Figured this whole mess out. But that’s the one thing I am certain about, Perry. I don’t have much time. My CV levels have increased nine percent in the last month.” He took a shuddering breath. “I know this is hardly the romantic proposition young girls dream of, but it’s the truth. I want you, Perry. You’re the only thing I would regret if—”

Her fingertips against his lips stopped him. He turned into the touch, pressing a kiss to her fingers. Their eyes met.

“It’s unfair to even ask you,” he whispered against her touch. “I know that. But I also know that I’ve never wanted anything more in my life. And if this is all I have left of life…then I would want to spend it with you by my side. You don’t have to give me your answer immediately. And if you feel that I’m asking too much of you, then you don’t have to say yes—”

She kissed him, sliding into his lap, those elegant fingers stroking his face, and something he hadn’t expected to see smoldering in her eyes.

He’d never been so tempted in his life. “Perry—”

Lips touched his, gentle and soft. Beguiling. Garrett’s fists curled up against her face. He needed to stop this. Talk to her about it. But she was making it hard to think. He captured her wrists. “You’re not distracting me. Not this time.”

“I bet I could.” Her eyes gleamed.

There she was again. Garrett took a sharp breath. “I want to be your lover,” he said again. “But I want you to be certain of this—”

She shook her head, and twisted in his grip, that stubborn look in her expression.

“Yes,” he repeated, forcing her to meet his gaze. “I have months, at most, before someone notices… or before I hand myself in. I don’t want to hurt you any more than necessary. I can’t be selfish, not when it comes to you.”

The look on her face tore at him inside. “Promise me you won’t give up? People have been speaking for years of a cure for the craving. I’m going to find out what the scientists know. What they’ve discovered so far. I swear.”

“If there was such a thing, I’d search for it myself. But you need to be aware that I’m not certain how long I can hold this off. Already I’m finding it hard to control my anger. When I heard about the factory, I wanted to rip Byrnes’s head off.”

“But you didn’t,” she pointed out.

“Perry, it’s only going to get worse as my craving levels rise.”

“What about me, then? Have you ever wanted to hurt me?”

“Of course not,” he shot back. But he raked his mind over the last month, about how he’d felt when she was in the room with him. Wary, of course. Nervous to touch her at times. And he wouldn’t deny that she roused his lusts—both of them. “I want your blood.”

“I want yours,” Perry whispered. “It doesn’t mean I wish to hurt you, though I could.”

“But your craving levels are much lower.”

“Garrett, when you found me in the draining factory, my knuckles were bleeding. You didn’t even notice,” she argued. “Miss McLaren did, but you didn’t. What were you feeling in that moment? It wasn’t hunger. Your eyes were black, but you weren’t thinking about my blood at all.”

The words froze him. “I was…worried about you.” He always worried about her in dangerous situations—but this had been more than that. Equal parts possession and fear. The last thing he’d been thinking about was the hunger.

“But you weren’t thinking about my blood.” Her warm touch against his cheek drew his attention back to her. Those smoky-gray eyes blazed with determination. “I won’t believe that you can’t beat this—that we can’t beat this.”

“Are you certain we’re a ‘we’?” he asked.

A dangerous question. For he wasn’t sure. And he had the feeling he wouldn’t be, until he knew what was going through her mind, why she’d left him.

“Yes,” she whispered, leaning forward, her breath curling across his lips. “I was certain the moment I said I’d return with you. And there you have my answer to your question too. I don’t need time to think of the consequences. I’m tired of worrying and thinking and deciding if everything I do is the right thing. I’m tired of being afraid. Of wanting something that I can’t have…” And here her thumb brushed against his lip, leaving him little doubt as to what she referred to. “I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

Yes. She’d said yes. His hands dug into her thighs, where they’d been resting, a dark exultation sweeping through him. Garrett knew she wasn’t truly his—not until he knew her secrets—but this was a move he’d been afraid she wouldn’t take.

With quivering hands he took that final step across the line drawn in the sand between them. His mouth met hers, palms sliding up to cup her face.

Need boiled within him, but he kept the kiss gentle. A tasting. Stealing her breath into his lungs. The sweetest kiss he’d ever tasted; a moment he wanted to savor for the rest of his life. For a moment, just a moment, the hunger was a distant sensation.

And then it roared to life.

Baring his teeth, he turned his face into her shoulder. The hammer of her pulse was loud in his ear, and he blinked and looked away, the room falling to shadows.

Hands slid into his hair, lips pressing against his forehead. “Don’t be afraid,” Perry whispered. Her h*ps rolled against his, riding against the rough ridge of his cock. Garrett sucked in a sharp breath, his need turning from blood to something infinitely more pleasurable.

Somehow her hand found one of his and slid it up against the soft linen of her shirt, settling his palm over the heated curve of her breast. Her h*ps rolled again, a slow, torturous temptation. Garrett turned his face, nipping at her lip.

“You’re definitely no innocent,” he murmured, his other hand sliding up her lean flank and over her ribs. His c**k ached hard enough to make him weep.

“Curious?” she whispered, throwing her head back and arching against him.

Yes. It drew a hiss from between his teeth. “You’ve never been with anyone. All these years.” He would have known.

“Haven’t I?” Hot breath in his ear.

Jealousy surged again, burning far more fiercely than even the hunger. He looked up, just in time to see her lips curve.

“There is no other man for me,” she whispered, plucking open the first button on her shirt. “But I like seeing this side of you.”

“Jealousy, you mean?” He slid both hands up her back, his lips finding her throat. She was still working on those buttons. He took a shuddering breath, lips trailing lower over na**d skin that felt like cool silk beneath his lips.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I like to see you jealous.” Fists clenched in his hair, dragging his face up to hers. “As I have been.”

The shirt clung to her shoulders, barely hiding her. But he couldn’t have looked away from those blackening eyes if he’d wanted to. This was one of her little secrets…something he’d never realized before. He’d never been a monk and she knew it, all too well.

A blithe answer hovered on his tongue but he didn’t give voice to it. There was something about her expression, about the way she held herself. This had hurt her and he’d never even known.

“You never said anything,” he replied.

“What could I have said?”

A challenge if ever he’d heard one. Slowly his hands eased down her back, sliding over the curves of her arse. But he did nothing else. “Maybe if you had, I’d have realized what an idiot I was long ago. I won’t apologize for what’s in the past. But if you want the truth, there was always something missing. Something…” He shrugged helplessly. “You. You were what was missing.”

Perry’s head lowered, her fingertips tracing his collar and her expression opaque. Garrett brushed his mouth against hers. “And yes, I know it’s completely unfair of me, but I’m insanely jealous that there’s been another man in your life. And I’m also curious”—he slowly rolled her onto her back on the sofa, pressing his weight over her—“very curious about just how innocent you are.” He kissed her throat, her chin, her jaw. Then paused. “I wouldn’t want to hurt you, if you were not very experienced.”

Her voice was smoke. “You won’t hurt me, Garrett.”

“No?” He brushed her collar aside, exposing a breast band. Meeting her eyes, he tugged it down, revealing the faintest tip of her nipple. The sight of it locked up every muscle in his gut. Every instinct in him wanted to bury himself inside her. Take her. Make love to her in every way he knew.

Jealousy reared again. And possession. And emotions he didn’t think he could even name. All of them alien to him. “You’re mine, my fierce lady peregrine,” he whispered, leaning down and tasting the smooth curve of her breast. The ache inside deepened, tightening his balls. The body beneath him was so familiar—lean and lightly muscled, the strength in her apparent as her fingers curled around his biceps. But she wasn’t fighting him now, and as he pressed down between her thighs, the sensation was completely new between them.

Tugging apart her shirt, he brushed his lips against her bared br**sts, tongue darting over one nipple. A gasp stole from her and he looked up, meeting her startled gaze. No sign of gray in them now. Only darkness; only hunger, need, the fierceness of the craving. But it wasn’t blood she was hungry for. Not now.

He used teeth and hands, learning her, delighting in each little hissed intake of breath he earned. He rocked forward until her h*ps cradled his and it was torture and pleasure for both of them. Garrett pressed his face against her breast, breathing hard. Need her. Now. But he’d never had the urge to prolong the experience so much before. He wanted to remember every moment, every sweet caress between them as he took her for the first time. To make love to her, truly.

How different it was to be doing this with a woman he cared for. With Perry. Every time she gasped or squirmed beneath him, he loved it. Slowly he worked his way down, leaving her ni**les pink and glistening. Nipping at the smooth skin of her hip. Tongue darting into her navel…

Perry bit back a moan, sinking her hands into his hair. “Oh… Garrett.”

“Are you wet for me?” he whispered, the rasp of his stubble leaving marks on her porcelain skin. She was so f**king beautiful. All long legs and smooth skin. Lithe and sleek, like a cat.

Color burned in her cheeks. A hint of shyness. He liked it when she was flirtatious and sensual, but this too was Perry. “Garrett—” she choked out.

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