Find You in the Dark Page 44


I leaned into Clay's chest. “I'd take that as a...maybe?” I posed the statement as a question, hoping to solicit some sort of response from my miserable friends. “Well, I have an idea.” Clay piped up, getting everyone's attention.

Daniel stopped swirling his potatoes and Rachel looked up from her Cosmo magazine. “Oh yeah? What's that?” I asked him. Clay grinned down at me and kissed the tip of my nose. I loved it when he did stuff like that. He had this way of making me feel like something infinitely valuable. Like I was the most precious thing in his universe.

“Well, Ruby's girlfriend, Lisa has a cabin down by Franklin Lake. Maybe we could go down for the night. Like, say the Saturday after Thanksgiving? I mean, it's really nice. With satellite TV and a huge jacuzzi tub. It could be a lot of fun.” Clayton sounded excited.

I was pleased to see this even- natured side of Clay. He had started taking the lithium again, starting the night of the formal. Despite my happiness about this, I continued to watch him closely. Looking for any sign that he was lying about the meds and had stopped taking him.

I knew deep down that this wariness of mine where he was concerned wasn't good for the long term health of our relationship. But right now, Clay was on his meds and they seemed to have evened him out. He was still tired a lot and his appetite was nonexistent but he seemed less zombiefied than the last time he had been on the pills. Clay said they must be acclimating to his system, now that he was on them for a longer period of time.

Well, whatever it was, I was happy to see it.

“So what do you think?” Clay asked the table, pulling me out of my thoughts. I appreciated that Clay was trying to integrate into our circle. He had struggled with relaxing around my friends. He and I continued to exist in our isolated bubble most of the time. I knew opting to spend most of my time with him as opposed to my friends was having a negative effect on my other relationships. But I was in the blissful throes of the honeymoon period. I couldn't be faulted for that, right?

For the most part, Rachel had tried to be pleasant, though she watched the two of us warily. I knew that she worried after Clay's Hulk episode at the dance. And Daniel, well, he still maintained an arms length with Clay. Though he tried for my sake. So, Clay inviting them along on an outing was huge. I hoped it was a positive step in the right direction in merging these parts of my life. I hated how being with Clay seemed at times to fragment my other relationships. Why did I have to have only one or the other?

I squeezed Clay's hand in appreciation at his gesture. Clay gave me a shy smile. I reached up and brushed a loose curl out of his eyes, letting my fingers linger on his skin. His gaze softened and I shivered in giddiness.

Daniel rolled his eyes at the two of us and I dropped my hand into my lap. I glared at my friend and he raised his eyebrows at me. “Sounds like fun to me.” I said, giving Daniel a pointed look.

Rachel didn't look up and only shrugged. “I don't know. It all depends on what's going on with my family.” I sighed in frustration. I knew Rachel didn't want to hang out with her extended family for any length of time. Her grandparents drove her nuts and her aunts and uncles, for the most part, were a bunch of jerks. No, she was just being difficult.

“Well, I think it sounds cool.” Daniel piped up, surprising me. Rachel stiffened beside him. I knew he was goading her. Not to be outdone, Rachel sat up straight. “Well, I think it sounds cool too. Count me in.” She said through clenched teeth. Great. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

“Fantastic. So we'll all go.” Daniel said tersely, shoving his fork through his peas. Clay looked at me questioningly. I lifted my shoulders in resignation. “You two need to play nice or we'll leave your asses behind. Fair warning.” I told the two of them, wagging my finger in their direction.

Rachel and Daniel briefly looked at each other and then away. Rachel gave Clay a tentative smile. “Thanks for inviting us.” “Sure.” Clay replied, still feeling awkward with the antagonistic vibe my friends were throwing out.

“I'm gonna go get a soda. Want anything?” Clay asked me. “I'll have a soda too.” I dug a few coins out of my purse and tried to give them to him. Clay pushed my hand away and smiled. “I've got it, baby.” He said softly and I beamed at the endearment.

Clay got up and went to get our drinks. I turned on my friends and leveled them with a glare of death. “You two need to get your acts together. Clay is making a big effort to be nice. The least you could do is give the battle royale between the two of you a rest for a while. You know, so you don't make the rest of us miserable.”

Rachel and Daniel grumbled, but the chill between them thawed a bit. “Hey guys.” I felt the bench beside me dip as someone sat down beside me. I looked over to see Jake Fitzsimmons grinning as he snuck a piece of my brownie off of my plate.

“Get your own brownie, Jake. Hands off of mine.” I swatted his hand away, giving him a small smile. The three of us had known Jake since Kindergarten. He was sweet and cute and had never been subtle in the fact that he had a giant crush on me.

I chanced a look at Clay, but he was still waiting in line at the vending machine. “Daniel, Coach wanted me to let you know that practice was canceled today.” Jake said, taking more of my brownie. I moved my tray out of his reach.

Jake and Daniel were on the basketball team together and the soccer team in the spring. “Thanks for letting me know, man. That frees up my afternoon. Which is good because I have a shitload of homework to catch up on.”

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