“This is so fucking hard, Mal.” Her voice cracks, and my fingers twitch. I want to hold her hand and comfort her, but I need to hear this. I love her, but I deserve the truth.

“I thought Miles was all I had, and I latched on to that,” she finally says after about a minute. “You know I hate my father. Fuck, hate isn’t a strong enough word. Then Miles found me when I was seventeen and offered me something I’d always wanted. A family. Revenge.”

“You want revenge on your father? Why?” She’s never told me anything about him, and sitting here now, maybe I’ll finally understand.

“Well, Miles wants revenge.” She takes a breath and her eyes meet mine. “I want—” She stops herself abruptly.

“You want more,” I finish for her. I’ve seen the hate in her eyes when she talks about him. She’s out for blood. Paige has always had this slight distaste for men, something I’m guessing her father must have given her, because it’s all over her face right now.

She nods in agreement. “When Miles found me, he showed me that I could have more than this consuming hate in my life. He offered me a little bit of a family. And he told me if I helped him, he’d work on getting our revenge.”

“You’re his sister. He should have helped you, not used you.” I feel a pang of anger toward Oz on Paige’s behalf.

She lets out a small laugh. “It’s not like I fought him. I was seventeen at the time, and he gave me a job that sounded pretty kick-ass. He paid for my college, and then paid me a salary on top of it. He promised that when I was finished I’d get a job with his security team. Miles took over, and I could cut all of the bad shit out of my life. He saved me.”

We sit in silence for a moment, and I finally let out a breath. “I hate fighting with you, but I feel like you’ve been lying to me, and I don’t know what to do with that. It’s hard to be mad at you, but I am.” I reach out, taking her hand, and she grips mine tightly. I remember reading once that forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about self-healing. She had her reasons for doing what she did, and I can’t blame her for it. It hurts to know she deceived me, but I also know in my heart that she did it with the best intentions.

“You’re all I have, Paige.”

“I know. I feel like such an asshole. You have to know it started off as a job, but it became real. Our friendship was real. Is real,” she corrects. “You mean more to me than anyone else in the whole world. I know I was happy when I found Miles, but we aren’t even that close. Not like you and me. I can’t lose you, too. Please don’t let me lose another person I love because of my father.”

A tear slides down her face, and I pull her into a hug.

“Jesus, Paige, what did he do to you?”

Her arms come around me and we sit there for a moment, holding one another.

She shakes her head. “I’ve never told a soul,” she whispers, breaking my heart a little, because this isn’t a side I’ve ever seen of her.

Pulling back, I look into her tear-filled eyes. The blue looking so much brighter. “You can tell me anything, Paige.”

“I—” Her voice breaks. “I used to think I never told anyone because I was scared of him. Maybe I was, but I think it’s more because I was ashamed. Ashamed I didn’t save her.”

My eyebrows draw together as I wonder what she means. “Please don’t let me lose another person I love because of my father.”

“My mom isn’t missing. She’s dead.” A tear escapes down her face. “I watched him kill her and I stood there.”

“Oh, Paige. You had to have been young.”

“Fifteen.”

Tears run down my face, thinking about Paige having to see something like that. I couldn’t imagine. So much of who Paige is really makes sense now.

“What happened?” I ask, wanting Paige to open up to me more.

Her bottom lip starts to tremble and I can tell she doesn’t want to talk about it. Not yet anyway but this is a start.

“You could report it now,” I try. Worried about what she might have planned. When Paige gets on something, she goes at it like a dog with a bone. Another thing that reminds me of Oz. They are a lot alike it seems.

“No!” she snaps. “You never tell anyone this.” She grabs my hand, her face pleading.

“Of course I’d never tell anyone, Paige,” I reassure her. “I just—” I’m not sure what to say. I want her to find some kind of closure on this but it’s clear it’s something she wants to handle on her own. That scares me, but I want her to know I’m here for her. I’ll always be here no matter what. Even when I was upset with her, deep down I knew we would come back together.

I look at her and let go of any anger I have. I know what’s in her heart, and I know what’s in mine. I don’t want to hold on to something that makes me so sad.

“I forgive you, Paige.” I shrug and give her a half smile. “I’m shocked I lasted this long, to be honest.”

She smiles at me, and it’s the first time in days some of the weight on my shoulders lightens.

“Just don’t tell Oz any more shit about me.”

She shakes her head, and I know she means it. “I won’t. I told him I was done with everything. Please don’t tell him what I told you.”

“He doesn’t know your dad killed your mother?” I ask, wanting to make sure I understand her clearly.