East of Eden Page 184
“What does he want to save it for?”
“Goddam it, Lee, he’s ambitious. Can’t you understand that?”
“No,” said Lee. “I never could.”
Adam said, “He never spoke of it. I wonder if his brother knows.”
“I guess Aron wants it to be a surprise. We shouldn’t mention it until he does.”
“I guess you’re right. Do you know, Lee?—I’m proud of him. Terribly proud. This makes me feel good. I wish Cal had some ambition.”
“Maybe he has,” said Lee. “Maybe he has some kind of a secret too.”
“Maybe. God knows we haven’t seen much of him lately either. Do you think it’s good for him to be away so much?”
“Cal’s trying to find himself,” said Lee. “I guess this personal hide-and-seek is not unusual. And some people are ‘it’ all their lives—hopelessly ‘it’.”
“Just think,” said Adam. “A whole year’s work ahead. When he tells us we ought to have a present for him.”
“A gold watch,” said Lee.
“That’s right,” said Adam. “I’m going to get one and have it engraved and ready. What should it say?”
“The jeweler will tell you,” said Lee. “You take the chicken out after two days and cut it off the bone and put the meat back.”
“What chicken?”
“Winter melon soup,” said Lee.
“Have we got money enough to send him to college, Lee?”
“If we’re careful and he doesn’t develop expensive tastes.”
“He wouldn’t,” Adam said.
“I didn’t think I would—but I have.” Lee inspected the sleeve of his coat with admiration.
2
The rectory of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church was large and rambling. It had been built for ministers with large families. Mr. Rolf, unmarried and simple in his tastes, closed up most of the house, but when Aron needed a place to study he gave him a large room and helped him with his studies.
Mr. Rolf was fond of Aron. He liked the angelic beauty of his face and his smooth cheeks, his narrow hips, and long straight legs. He liked to sit in the room and watch Aron’s face straining with effort to learn. He understood why Aron could not work at home in an atmosphere not conducive to hard clean thought. Mr. Rolf felt that Aron was his product, his spiritual son, his contribution to the church. He saw him through his travail of celibacy and felt that he was guiding him into calm waters.
Their discussions were long and close and personal. “I know I am criticized,” Mr. Rolf said. “I happen to believe in a higher church than some people. No one can tell me that confession is not just as important a sacrament as communion. And you mind my word—I am going to bring it back, but cautiously, gradually.”
“When I have a church I’ll do it too.”
“It requires great tact,” said Mr. Rolf.
Aron said, “I wish we had in our church, well—well, I might as well say it. I wish we had something like the Augustines or the Franciscans. Someplace to withdraw. Sometimes I feel dirty. I want to get away from the dirt and be clean.”
“I know how you feel,” Mr. Rolf said earnestly. “But there I cannot go along with you. I can’t think that our Lord Jesus would want his priesthood withdrawn from service to the world. Think how he insisted that we preach the Gospel, help the sick and poor, even lower ourselves into filth to raise sinners from the slime. We must keep the exactness of His example always before us.”
His eyes began to glow and his voice took on the throatiness he used in sermons. “Perhaps I shouldn’t tell you this. And I hope you won’t find any pride in me in telling it. But there is a kind of glory in it. For the last five weeks a woman has been coming to evening service. I don’t think you can see her from the choir. She sits always in the last row on the left-hand side—yes, you can see her too. She is off at an angle. Yes, you can see her. She wears a veil and she always leaves before I can get back after recessional.”
“Who is she?” Aron asked.
“Well, you’ll have to learn these things. I made very discreet inquiries and you would never guess. She is the—well—the owner of a house of ill fame.”
“Here in Salinas?”
“Here in Salinas.” Mr. Rolf leaned forward. “Aron, I can see your revulsion. You must get over that. Don’t forget our Lord and Mary Magdalene. Without pride I say I would be glad to raise her up.”
“What does she want here?” Aron demanded.
“Perhaps what we have to offer—salvation. It will require great tact. I can see how it will be. And mark my words—these people are timid. One day there will come a tap on my door and she will beg to come in. Then, Aron, I pray that I may be wise and patient. You must believe me—when that happens, when a lost soul seeks the light, it is the highest and most beautiful experience a priest can have. That’s what we are for, Aron. That’s what we are for.”
Mr. Rolf controlled his breathing with difficulty. “I pray God I may not fail,” he said.
3
Adam Trask thought of the war in terms of his own now dimly remembered campaign against the Indians. No one knew anything about huge and general war. Lee read European history, trying to discern from the filaments of the past some pattern of the future.
Liza Hamilton died with a pinched little smile on her mouth, and her cheekbones were shockingly high when the red was gone from them.