Hours on the road, a head full of jumbled thoughts, and not enough sleep have taken their toll, and it’s almost more than I can do to make it into my room. Without closing the windows, I strip off my clothes and pull back the blankets, and for the first time in ages, climb gratefully into my own bed.

THE HOUSE IS freezing when I wake up. But it’s good—it’s life here, and the sharp air is exactly what I needed to get me back into the mindset of a day spent on the boat.

A full night of sleep gave my brain time to reboot after all the thinking I did on the drive up. I get out of bed and get ready, feeling good about where I’ve landed on the question of what to do about the business. It’s a relief to have made a decision, even if my stomach remains a little sour with nerves. I trust myself and my brothers enough to know we’ll land on our feet no matter what.

I just hope I’m not about to ruin our lives.

I’m on the dock before five. Salt air fills my lungs and my body moves on autopilot, my muscles remembering exactly what to do.

The boys have been busy. Planks of new decking have been laid where they replaced the wiring, and the controls in the engine room seem to be working just like they should. No equipment has been left out, nets have been repaired, and I feel a swell of pride for my brothers.

“Finn?” I hear, and turn to see my youngest brother, Levi, climbing on board.

“In here,” I call out.

He follows my voice and steps inside, cradling a steaming mug of coffee in his hands. He’s dressed in a heavy plaid jacket, a beanie pulled down over his curly hair. “Well, fuck,” he says, setting his cup down and pulling me into a giant hug. “Nice to have you back, stranger.”

Apparently, I’ve become a softie in San Diego, because I find myself pulling him back in when he pulls away, hugging him tighter. “Thanks,” I tell him. “Thanks for taking care of the boats. You guys did good.” I pull away but not before I snatch his cap off his head, messing up his pretty-boy blond hair.

His characteristic grin is in place. Levi has always been the smiling brother, the jokester, and he doesn’t let me down. “Colt’s just behind me but we could totally sneak off to paint each other’s nails if you’re feeling needy.”

“Fuck you,” I tell him, laughing as I toss his hat back in his direction.

Colton is there next, giant paper bag holding his lunch in one hand, an apple in the other. “Look who it is,” he says. He hugs me with every bit of force Levi did and it’s just like it always is, the Roberts boys on the boat, ready to start a new day. Except this day will start very differently.

“So, hey,” I begin, pulling off my baseball hat and rubbing my forehead. “I think we should stay docked today.”

Colton studies me for a moment. “Why?”

Looking down the dock, I still don’t see Dad heading down to the boat. “Dad still at home?”

“Probably be down later,” Colton says. “Especially since he knows you’re back.”

“What’s up, Finn?” Levi asks. “We’re not tossing nets today?”

I decide to go ahead and tell them, with or without our dad here. I slip my hat back on and look at each of my brothers in turn. “I think I’ve come around.”

Levi takes a step closer. “Meaning what?”

“Meaning, I think we should sign on.” I look over at Levi and laugh at his hopeful expression. “For the show.”

My brothers both let out enthusiastic whoops, and high-five each other before hugging me again.

“Fuck yes!” Colton yells, and his voice echoes down across the water. “Oh, this is good, Finn. I’m fucking stoked.”

“Can you imagine what people are going to say?” Levi asks, though his grin tells me he isn’t particularly worried. “They’re going to give us epic shit, I’m sure.”

“Yeah, well, they can give us all the shit they want,” I tell him. “You can wave at them from the water because our engines are working.”

“I’ll blow them a fucking kiss wearing nothing but my bank statement,” Colton adds.

Levi laughs. “I’m sure you would.”

There’s a moment where I just watch the two of them, measuring this Levi and Colton against the ones I left the day I headed to Oliver’s. Things were looking bad, and maybe I didn’t realize how bad they were until right now, seeing the contrast in them. They’re smiling and happy, young. Hopeful for the first time in years. Money can’t buy you happiness, but happiness sure is a hell of a lot easier to find when you’re not worried about where your next meal is coming from.

“Come on,” I tell them, reaching for a clipboard that hangs on a nail near the door, and thumb through the daily logs. “I need to take stock of everything so when we call, I can tell them what’s gotta be fixed.”

Levi follows me up into the wheelhouse. “So, tell us about California.”

“What he means is tell us about the pussy,” Colton interrupts.

“Check yourself, Colt,” I chide him quietly.

Colton looks at me with the most comical look of feigned innocence I’ve ever seen.

“It was good. Great to see Oliver and Ansel. See the new store.” I scribble a few notes on the charts, add today’s date, and start a list of repairs needed in order of priority. “I saw Harlow,” I add, and regret it almost immediately.

“Harlow,” Levi repeats with glee evident in his voice. “Harlow of the trench coat?” Of course Levi would remember that. Because karma has an incredible sense of humor, Levi just so happened to be pulling up to my house as Harlow climbed into her cab. He definitely enjoyed sharing that piece of information with my entire family.

I glare at him over the top of the clipboard. “Yes. That Harlow.”

“Well, damn, son. I wouldn’t have answered my phone calls, either.”

“Yeah, about that,” I say, but Levi is already shaking his head.

“We’re big boys, Finn, we can handle the load for a while. You deserved a break, man.”

“This,” Colton echos.

“Okay, well,” I say, a little overwhelmed and not exactly sure how to respond. “We have an engine to pull apart before we can make the big call, so let’s get to it.”

IT’S LIKE I never left. I work from sunup to sundown—taking a break only at lunch to call the producers with my brothers and my dad and tell them, finally, that we’re in—and it feels so damn good to wear myself out and work until I can hardly stand, too tired to worry or even think.