Destined Page 70
“She’ll be here soon,” he said wearily.
“Where were you?” she asked.
He was silent for a moment. “Shar’s house,” he finally said, his voice cracking.
“Oh, Tam,” Laurel breathed, her hands gripping his shoulder.
“It was his last request,” Tamani said, one silent tear tracing down his face for an instant before he broke her gaze and rubbed it away with his sleeve.
Laurel wanted to wrap her arms round him, to offer her shoulder for him to cry on, to soothe away those terrible lines on his forehead, but she didn’t know where to begin. “Tamani, what’s going on?”
Tamani swallowed, then shook his head. “I’ll get you back to California – you’ll see. You, and Chelsea, and David.”
“But—”
“But I’m not coming with you.”
“You – you have to,” Laurel said, but Tamani was shaking his head.
“I’ll tell Jamison I can’t keep my life vow. He’ll help me, somehow. I’ll get you the best protector in Avalon, I promise, but . . . it’s not me anymore.”
“I don’t want another protector,” Laurel said, her chest feeling hollow, panicked.
“You don’t understand,” Tamani said, not looking at her. “It’s not about us; I can’t be your Fear-gleidhidh . . . effectively. In hindsight, I should probably never even have tried; if I was doing my job right, none of this would have happened. When I – when I thought you were dead, I went crazy. I honestly didn’t know myself. I was afraid of who I had become. I can’t live always knowing that I could lose you at any moment; that I could feel that way again.” He hesitated. “It’s too hard.”
“No, no, Tam,” she said, smoothing his hair, caressing his cheek. “You can’t, not now, not—”
“I’m not as good as you think I am, Laurel,” he protested, desperation filling his voice. “I don’t trust myself to protect you anymore.”
“Then find someone else to fill that role if you have to,” she said, jaw clenched, “but don’t you leave me!” She scooted closer and took his face in her hands, waited while he built up the courage to raise his eyelids and look at her. “Wherever we’re going today, I want you with me, and I never want you to leave my side again.” His ragged breath touched on her face now, her body pulled right against his chest, feeling his essence pull on her like a magnet. “I don’t care if you guard and protect me – all I care is that you love me. I want you to kiss me good night before I go to sleep and bid me good morning the moment I wake up. And not just today; tomorrow and the next day and every day for the rest of my life. Will you come with me, Tamani? Be with me?”
Laurel lifted his chin until their faces were even. Tamani closed his eyes and she could feel his jaw trembling under her hands. She brushed her lips over his, revelling in the velvety softness of his mouth against hers. When he didn’t pull away, she pressed more firmly, knowing, somehow, that she had to move slowly, convince his tattered soul so carefully that she meant every word.
“I love you. And I’m asking you . . .” She opened her mouth slightly and gently scraped her teeth along his bottom lip, feeling his whole body shudder. “No,” she amended, “I’m begging you, to come be with me.” And she pressed her mouth against his and murmured against his lips. “Forever.”
For a few seconds he didn’t respond.
Then a groan escaped his throat and he thrust his fingers into her hair, pulling her mouth back to his with a fierce hunger.
“Kiss me,” she whispered. “And don’t stop.”
His mouth enveloped hers again and their shared sweetness tasted like ambrosia as he caressed her eyelids, her ears, her neck, and Laurel marvelled at the strangeness of the world. She loved him, had always loved him. She had even known it, somehow.
“Are you sure?” Tamani murmured, his lips softly grazing her ears.
“I am so sure,” Laurel said, her hands clutching at the front of his shirt.
“What changed?” He pushed her hair away from her face, his fingers lingering on her temples, just brushing her eyelashes.
Laurel sobered. “When I brought you the potion, I thought I was too late. And I had just taken it myself. And all I wanted right at that moment was to take my own cure away. To die with you.”
Tamani pressed his forehead against hers and lifted one hand to stroke her cheek.
“I’ve loved you for a long time,” she said. “But there was always something holding me back. Maybe it was that I was afraid of an emotion that was so consuming. It still frightens me,” she admitted in a whisper.
Tamani chuckled. “If it makes you feel any better, it scares the daylights out of me on a regular basis.” He rained kisses on her again, his fingers pressed against her back and her waist, and Laurel realised his chest was shaking convulsively.
“What?” she asked pulling away. “What’s wrong?”
But he wasn’t sobbing – he was laughing! “The World Tree,” he said. “It was right all along.”
“When you got your answer?”
He nodded.
“You said you would tell me someday what it said. Will you now?”
“Commit.”
“What?”
“The tree just said, Commit.” He ran his hand through his hair, smiling a little.