I stiffen but continue to stand there, not saying a word.

“You’re used to being top dog around here. The smartest, the prettiest, the most perfect at everything, with the most perfect, smartest, sexiest boyfriend.” She smiles at Damen, then shrugs and laughs when he fails to return her smile. “And now that I’m immortal like you, it’s just a matter of time until I catch up—until I’m perfect too. And the fact is, you can’t stand it. Can’t stand the thought of it. But the funny part, the ironic part is, in the end, you have only yourself to blame, since you’re the one who made me this way. And even though you claim you’d make the same decision all over again, I can’t help but think you liked me better before. Back when I was a pathetic, little, attention-starved wannabe—the loser who ate too many cupcakes and made up stuff at anonymous meetings.” She shrugs, shoulders rising and falling with such confidence, such arrogance, it’s clear she’s no longer that girl. “Don’t bother denying it, I know those are the weaknesses you were referring to. It’s pretty obvious how superior you’ve always felt to Miles and me. Like you were deigning to hang with us until something better came your way—”

“That’s not true—you’re my best friends—my—”

“Please.” She rolls her eyes, clucking her tongue against her cheek in the same way Roman does. “Spare me your heartfelt declarations. The moment the Italian stallion came along”—she nods at Damen—“we pretty much only saw you at lunch, and sometimes not even then, since the perfect little couple was too busy with their perfect little lives, and their perfect little love, to hang with such unperfect dorks like us. We were just the losers you kept on standby—just in case you might need us someday. But now it looks like you’re in for a long and lonely summer cuz Miles is headed for Florence, and I made some new friends who aren’t the slightest bit intimidated by the new me.”

“Haven—this is crazy! How can you even say these things?” I ask, as my eyes rake over her, taking her in. Even though she’s just as teeny as ever, even though she hasn’t grown even the slightest bit, it’s like her diminutive stature is somehow more pronounced—more toned, more sinewy, like she’s a tiny black panther in black leather leggings, lacy black shirt, and tall spiky black boots. And though she’s gotten mad at me before, this time is different—she’s different. Now she’s dangerous, and knows it, and likes it that way.

“How can I say it?” she mocks, eyes narrowed into slits. “Because it’s true, that’s how.” She dumps the box into Damen’s arms, assuming he’ll catch it as she heads for the door, glancing over her shoulder to say, “You can keep your elixir. I’ve got my own source. And trust me, he’ll be more than happy to teach me all the things that you won’t.”

eight

Damen turns toward me, the word trouble coursing from his mind to mine.

But I just stand there, so stunned I have no idea where to take it from here.

“I knew she’d be a problem.” He shakes his head and drops onto the couch. “She’s too fragile, too volatile, she won’t be able to handle any of this. She’ll be consumed with power before long, just wait.”

“Wait?” I perch on the armrest beside him. “Are you serious? Wait for what? You think it’s actually gonna get worse than what we just saw?”

He nods, making a great effort to withhold the I told you so gaze. But it’s not like it matters. We both know I’m the one responsible for this mess.

I sigh, sliding off the armrest and toppling onto him. Knowing I have to do something—take control of this situation before it gets any worse—but having no idea what that something is. Every decision I’ve made up to this point has only made everything worse. And I’m just so tired—so drained—all I want to do is take a nice long peaceful nap where Roman can’t enter my dreams.

Roman.

The name reverberating from my mind to his, and when he looks at me, I know it’s too late—I know that he sensed it.

“Why’d you change your mind?” He studies me closely, seeking the truth behind the look in my eyes, the words on my tongue. “Why’d you tell her to avoid him?”

“Because you were right,” I mumble, hating the lie I’m about to tell. “It was a selfish thing to do—to put her in that kind of danger just so we could benefit—” I shake my head, allowing my hair to fall onto my face in a way that obscures it.

Because the truth is, I’m worried I didn’t do it for her.

I’m worried I tried to keep her from Roman, so there’d be more room for me.

I remain like that, face hidden as I struggle to pull myself together, summon up some small glimmer of the old me. Finally lifting my head only to find his brow creased with worry, as his hand squeezes my knee.

“Hey, take it easy,” he says, voice soft and low. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. So, we’ve entered a bit of a glitch, we’ll get through it. We still have each other, right? That’s all that matters in the big scheme of things. As for everything else—we’ll find a way—I promise we will.”

“Do we?” I look at him, my eyes going wide when I realize what I just said, having meant to say will we—meant to question the part about finding a way and not the part about us having each other.