I felt vulnerable and scared, but I convinced myself that I just looked like a nurse getting off work. I walked hurriedly to the bus stop. I boarded the bus and finally started to breathe again. I never felt safe until I was crossing the center of the city, on my way out to the north. I had examined the bus when I boarded, but also when it came time for people to get off and on. I didn’t see Dorian anywhere, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t change into someone else. I trusted no one. I didn’t know what he was capable of.

I watched out the window as my bus made its way to the main transit stop. There I could switch buses and board a bus for home. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew that my best chance of survival was in a place I was comfortable in.

Even when I boarded the bus heading toward home, I was skeptical I would make it. I felt surrounded by him, even though I couldn’t see him anywhere. When the forty-two dollars ran out, I found myself hours from home at a random bus stop. I locked myself in a bathroom stall, where I sat and ate my granola bar slowly. I didn’t feel hungry, but I wasn’t sure how I was getting home or when I would eat again.

Chapter Thirteen

Am I a believer or a wanderer, does it matter?

According to Google Maps, a person can drive from the bus stop I was stranded at to my town in around three hours, and walk it in about two days. I, however, reacted rather well to Dorian's demon blood and was able to do it in one day. I shaved a bit of time off by running as much as I could. I rarely sweat. I never got hungry, and I didn’t have to use the bathroom. My feet never really hurt, wearing shoes half a size too small, and I didn’t need to sleep, not even a little. I didn’t know what to say about that. I felt like one of the terminators. I walked past the sign for our town and felt a small sigh of relief.

Port Mackenzie was my safe haven in that crazy moment. I walked into town seeing the gas station and knew I would have to be very careful. Everyone in town knew me. I didn’t know where to go, but decided my own house would be a great place to start.

I crept along backyards and kept my head down until finally reaching our street. I snuck through the backyards of my neighbors until I reached our fence. I climbed over it, again surprised by the strength I seemed to be able to muster. I climbed up and over with little or no problems. I landed in the backyard just as the sky turned dark. Our house was black.

I wondered where my sister was, where my dad was, and mostly, where Dorian was.

Would he sit in my house and wait for me to come home?

Did he know where I lived?

Would he have held my dad and Shane hostage until I came to them?

Would he tell them what I had become?

Would they be dangling from a bridge somewhere, expecting me to save them with my new super strength?

I moved stealthily across the grass to the back door where the hidden key was. I unlocked it and crept inside. I didn’t turn any lights on. I stood there and smelled the air for a second. I was home. My heart was racing, but I couldn’t help but enjoy the moment.

I grabbed a drink of water, not realizing I was desperately thirsty. I gulped back three huge glasses and instantly had to pee. I ran to the toilet, assuming it was what life was like for Aleks, doing what he needed when he got the chance. I flushed and ran upstairs to my room. I opened the bag with my mom’s nightgown and took deep breaths. I savored the smell and then put the bag back; I would be back for it.

“Mom,” I whispered, looking around, and wished Aleks would show up. Then I could get the answers I needed about my mom's death.

I cursed Dorian under my breath.

I grabbed a crayon from my art set and opened the window to my bedroom. In light yellow crayon, I wrote on the outside windowpane. ‘I need to see you. Come find me! Check at the beach.’

I knew he would see it and know I needed him. I grabbed two changes of my usual black clothes and stuffed them into my beach backpack. I put in a few key items I knew no one would know were missing. I jumped into the shower and rinsed myself in the dark, not turning any lights on. It was, by far, the scariest shower I'd ever had. I was clean, dressed, and ready to go fifteen minutes from arriving home.

I grabbed the ball cap my Gran had bought me a few summers before and stuffed it on my head. I tucked my long hair through the back and made a ponytail.

I didn’t know what to do or where to go when I slipped out the back door. I locked the house and ran out to the back fence. Night had fully set in and enveloped the world in black. I was grateful for the moonless night, running through the woods at the back of our property. I ran until I reached Shane’s house.

His truck was there, but that meant nothing. My dad had taken his truck to Portland with Shane. I slipped in around the back of the house. Shane’s house was as dark as my own. Frustrated, I didn’t know what to do. My energy levels were high and I was feeling fine, but how long did I have? I didn’t feel the change yet. I didn’t know anything.

I looked at the forest that Shane had carried me from many times and shook my head. It had only been a few days since I was on my deathbed, and there I was, feeling stronger than I ever had and yet still dying. Or was I? I wondered if maybe my body reacted badly to the demon blood, and instead of immortality, I just healed and got strong. Maybe I would be fine and could just go on with my regular life. I wondered if God just felt sorry for me for all the shitty things that had happened, and he was giving me a mulligan.

I sat down on the back steps of his deck, pondering life and choices. I looked back at the grass and vaguely remembered how it had felt to lay with Shane under the stars, and the way he had looked at me. I still loved him. No matter what had ever happened with Aleks, I couldn’t get him out of my mind or heart. The distance from Aleks seemed to allow me the clarity of realizing the lust I felt, as opposed to the love. He seemed to have that effect on all women.

I heard a vehicle pull in as men’s voices started to speak and car doors closed and opened.

I paused, listening.

“Okay, well, thank you, Shane. I’m sure she’s fine. Like I said, the doctor seemed to be convinced she needed to go there.”

My dad's voice filled the yard. I stopped breathing, realizing I had nowhere I could run except the stalker woods, but they scared the life out of me. I sat very still, hoping I would have a few seconds at least to hide.

“I know, Mr. James. I’m really bummed about it. I just can’t believe I never got to say goodbye.” Shane’s voice was full of emotion; he sounded crushed.

“She knows you love her, kiddo. Good luck on your test, son, and if I hear from her, I will call you right away.” My dad used my nickname on him. It warmed and broke my heart simultaneously.

“Thanks, sir. Have a good sleep,” Shane called out. I heard his front door close and I jumped up and ran around the side of the house where the garage was. I froze, hearing him inside the house and then opening the back deck door.

“Hello, are you there?” he asked.

I looked back, not moving, not breathing. How did he know I was there?

“Oh okay, yeah. My cell does that too.” He laughed. I breathed a sigh of relief, still not moving as he talked on the phone.

“Yeah, I need to know where in California is the clinic that does celebrity liver treatments. A friend of mine is there and I just want to know the name of it. Thanks. Yeah, just call this number and leave a message, if I’m not here. Thanks, man. I need to find her.”

He was one corner of the house away from me. I crept along the side to the front of the house and stood in front of the garage, breathing heavily.

Dorian hadn’t been prepared for how much Shane loved me. Shane wouldn’t stop until he found me. My heart broke. What had I done?

I wondered about just revealing myself to Shane and letting the cards fall where they may. The only problem was that I wasn’t sure what I would become, and I didn’t want him getting hurt.

A small part of me wondered if he would still want me or love me if he knew I was changing in a supernatural way. I wondered if he would just end things between us. I didn’t want to push the envelope. I decided to leave his yard and find somewhere else to haunt.

I walked for a long time. I kept my head down as cars drove past me. I walked, thinking about the way things had played out.

I stopped for a moment at the fork in a road and thought about which way to turn. I was homeless.

I knew which way I wanted to go.

I turned, walking carefully as I approached his driveway. I rounded the corner of the house and opened the door to the garage with the lock code. I slipped through the garage into the hallway. I walked, not making any noise until I reached the stairs to the basement. Then I crept down them very slowly.

I could see the faint glow of the computer screen flashing from the far corner, where I knew he sat playing World of Warcraft. I snuck along, not wanting to scare him or wake his parents, if they were even home. Blake’s parents were lucky he was a calm kid. With the amount of free time he had, he could have been doing all kinds of unsavory things without any hindrances.

He sat hunched over the game, with headphones on, chatting. I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I plopped myself down on his leather couch and watched him for a minute.

He must have gotten the eerie feeling someone was watching him. He sat very still for a second and then turned his face slowly. Seeing me sitting on his couch, he smiled. “Hey.” He went back to his game instantly, not registering that I shouldn’t be in his house.

Stopping again after a second, he froze. He looked scared to move as if I might be a ghost coming to say my goodbye to him. I could tell he was nervous as he turned again, peeking at me.

I waved at him. “Hey.”

He smiled, but it wasn’t the peaceful one he had given moments before. Instead, it was a tense smile, which made me laugh. “Aimes?” he spoke carefully, not getting up from the chair.

I nodded, wanting to cry with relief. He removed his headphones and looked at me. “You okay?”

I nodded and chewed my lower lip. I couldn’t hold back the dam of emotions. It burst free and I lost control of myself.