When I’d finally finished, she nodded once. “It’s good that Kennet is dead. I’m in no shape to hunt him down and kill him, but that’s what I would’ve had to have done. Thank you for getting rid of him for me.”

“You’re welcome,” I said, instead of explaining that I hadn’t meant to kill Kennet. I’d been hoping to get him to tell me who he was working for, but since Konstantin had filled me in later, it didn’t seem to matter now.

And then I realized something. “What are you doing here? I heard Doldastam was on lockdown.”

“It is.” Tilda grimaced. “Everything has completely gone to hell since you left, and I couldn’t stay any longer. There was no way I could have a baby there, so I had to get out when I could.” She’d absently rubbed her stomach as she spoke.

“How far along are you now?” I asked.

“Almost five months.” She smiled. “It’s so weird because I’m already starting to feel more like a mom.”

Hearing her say the word made me think of my own parents and how I hadn’t heard anything from them since I’d been gone.

“Do you know how my parents are doing?” I asked.

Her smile fell away. “I’ve seen them around. I won’t lie to you—things are hard for them right now. They’ve both lost their jobs, and people don’t trust them. But they’re safe, and they’re still together. They’re as free as anyone else in Doldastam.”

I let that sink in for a moment. My parents were safe, and they were together.

“How did you get out of Doldastam?” I asked.

“Pretty much the same way you did,” Tilda said. “I snuck out with Ridley.”

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name. “What do you mean, Ridley?”

“He can explain it to you better. He convinced Mina to send him out on an errand.”

“He can explain it?” I asked, and my mouth suddenly felt dry. “What do you mean? Where is he?”

“He’s here.” Tilda motioned toward the door. “I think he’s outside talking with Finn. But you can go see him.” She slowly got to her feet. “Mia offered me tea when we got here, and I think I’m going to take her up on the offer.”

I stood up, feeling dazed. “Tilda. I am glad you got out, and I’m really glad that you’re safe.”

She smiled. “Me too. And you have no idea how happy it makes me, knowing that you’re safe.”

We hugged again, this time quicker than before, and then she left me so I could find Ridley.

THIRTY-SIX

reserve

The clouds that had moved in earlier, darkening the lunch with Queen Wendy and King Loki, had brought rain along with them. It was a heavy garden shower, with thunder rumbling in the distance.

I stepped out into it, not minding the cold drops that fell on my bare shoulders, and looked around for Finn and Ridley. They weren’t far from the house, standing underneath the awning that stretched past a barn that had once housed goats.

Ridley had his back to me as I approached, but the lines of his body were unmistakable to me. His strong shoulders, the narrowing of his waist beneath his loose olive jacket, the dark curls of his hair that could never be completely tamed.

When I reached them, Finn excused himself, and nodded at me as he walked toward the house. It seemed to take ages for Ridley to turn around to face me, but in reality, it was probably only a few seconds.

And then he was looking at me—the strong line of his jaw darkened by a few days’ stubble, the richness of his olive skin, his lips barely parted as he breathed, and the dark mahogany of his eyes burning with an intensity that made everything inside me melt.

Ridley was really here. My Ridley.

It wasn’t until then that I realized I’d been holding my breath, and I breathed in deeply. He lowered his eyes, hiding his gaze behind his heavy lashes.

“What are you doing here?” I asked finally.

“I came to find you,” he said, his voice low and thick, and it sounded strangely far away. Like he was holding something back.

Calvin, Hanna’s small pony, was out in the yard, running around and splashing in the puddles. Ridley turned, preferring to look out at the pony than at me.

The thatched roof of the awning had seen better days, and rain dripped in around us. It soaked the bales of straw stacked up beside us, and beneath my bare feet the ground was cold and muddy. Other than Calvin, we were alone. And Ridley wouldn’t look at me.

A shiver ran through me, but it wasn’t because I was cold.

“You’re soaking wet,” he commented, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. “You want my jacket?”

I shook my head, but he’d already started slipping it off. He walked over to me and draped his jacket over my shoulders. His hand brushed against my bare skin, and he smelled cold and crisp, the way he always did. As he adjusted the jacket, he looked down at me. For a moment we were looking into each other’s eyes, and all I could think about was the night we’d spent together.

Then he looked away and stepped back from me. I slipped my arms into the sleeves, which were still warm from his body heat. I wondered dourly if this was as close as he would get to touching me.

The distance between us felt immeasurable. The last time I’d seen him, he’d held me in his arms and kissed me deeply. He’d wanted to run away with me, but it had been dangerous, and I needed him to stay behind and make sure my parents and Tilda and Ember were okay.

Every night since, I’d had nightmares about him being ripped away from me. And as we stood here, with so much tension filling the gulf between us, I feared that all my nightmares had come true.

“Why did you come find me?” I asked. “You knew where I was. You sent me here.”

“I had to get out of Doldastam,” he said simply. “Queen Mina wants you captured and convicted, and I managed to convince her that I wanted that too. That you’d betrayed me so badly that I would go out and bring you back for her.”

I swallowed hard. “Do you think I betrayed you?”

“No, of course not.” He dismissed the idea immediately. “I just had to tell Mina that so I could get out of there.”

“What’s your plan now that you’re here?” I asked.

He let his eyes rest on me. “Honestly, I don’t have one.”

“It’s hard to know what to do when everything is falling apart.”

Ridley rubbed the back of his neck, then turned away, again watching Calvin prance through puddles. Without looking at me, he asked, “You’re working with Konstantin Black now? When did that start?”

“After I left,” I said, realizing how much I had to explain to Ridley. How much had happened while we’d been apart. “He found me. He defected from Viktor, and he thought we might help each other.”

“Have you been?”

“I think so,” I said.

“He hasn’t . . . hurt you or anything?” Ridley looked at me, and there was no jealousy in his eyes—only genuine concern.

I shook my head quickly. “No. No, nothing like that.”

“Good. It’s just . . .” He sighed. “For weeks, I didn’t know what was happening with you. I was worrying about all the terrible things that might be going on.”

“I had a run-in with a bear, but otherwise, I’m okay.” I tried to force a smile, to ease some of the tension, but it didn’t work.

“Finn told me about that,” was all Ridley said.

“I worried about you too,” I said, deciding that speaking from the heart might work better. “I thought of you every day, and I was so afraid of what might be happening to you.” His jaw clenched, and he stared down at a small stone that he kicked at absently. “What happened after I left?”

“It’s over now,” he said, almost growling. “That’s what matters.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s getting cold out here. I think I’m gonna head back inside.” Rather abruptly, he started to walk past me.

“Ridley,” I said, but he just kept going.

I pulled his jacket more tightly around me and tried to make sense of what had just happened. This was not at all how I’d pictured my reunion with Ridley. There had been much more kissing.

I was so relieved to see him, to know that he was okay, but after that exchange, I had no idea how to feel.

From the corner of my eye, I saw movement. I quickly turned my head, but I couldn’t see anything. Then it moved again, and in the shadows between the doorway to the barn and stacks of straw, I realized that I could see a black shirt, floating disembodied thanks to the chameleonlike skin of the Kanin.

Someone was there, spying on me.

THIRTY-SEVEN

derailed

I rushed over, preparing to get the jump on whoever it was, as my mind raced with thoughts of a Kanin spy stowing away with Ridley. Someone working for Mina coming to gather information and trap us.

But just before I punched at the black shirt, I heard Konstantin’s voice. “Easy, white rabbit! It’s just me!”