Ian’s jaw clenched in anger. “A fitting place for the scum of the earth like him. I assume he’s still rotting away there?”

“Most likely, yes. But that wasn’t much consolation to Peter, considering the damage that had been done. Peter had great difficulty being intimate. We were married for almost three years before we finally managed to have sex. And it was never easy for him. He - he couldn’t really bear being touched, especially in a sexual way.”

He stroked her hair lightly. “That must have been difficult for both of you. You’re such an affectionate little thing, Tessa. I can’t even imagine how hard that was for you.”

“Peter used to tell me that I should - oh, God, this is embarrassing.” She took a deep breath. “When he wasn’t able to, um -”

“Get an erection?” he supplied.

Tessa’s cheeks flushed as she gave a short nod. “Yes. He, uh, had a lot of difficulty with that or with keeping one long enough to -”

“It’s all right, love,” he assured her. “I get the idea. So I assume that you two didn’t - weren’t intimate very often?”

“No, we weren’t. I got to a point where I didn’t want to pressure him, or make him feel worse. As it was, he used to actually suggest I find someone else, another lover, someone who could, well, take care of me that way.”

Ian took her into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I know without having to ask that you never even considered that idea. No matter what the state of your marriage, I don’t think you’d have it in you to be unfaithful. With Peter’s permission or not.”

“You’re right. I never even gave it a serious thought. Normal marriage or not, I always thought of Peter as my husband as well as my best friend. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I had done something like that.”

He eased her head onto his shoulder, still stroking her hair. “So he decided to set you free after all that time. He knew that he could never give you what you needed and that you’d never cheat on him. After all the good deeds he did for you, Tessa, the last might have been the kindest one of all.”

“I didn’t get that at first,” she admitted. “All I could think about for the first couple of months was how alone I was. And of how terrified I was that I’d become like my mother.”

Her last confession startled him anew, and he tipped her chin up. “What in the world are you talking about, Tessa? Why are you afraid of something like that? Mental illness isn’t necessarily hereditary.”

“I know that. And I’ve never had a manic episode like she did, nothing like that. But the other - the dark times. Sometimes it gets so hard, Ian. I have to fight it off, to keep myself from falling under like she did. When Peter left, and all the times before when he’d be away for weeks at a time on assignments, I’d have to force myself to keep going, to not let the depression take me over.”

Tessa was weeping quietly, and he felt like his heart would shatter into a thousand pieces at the sound. He cuddled her close, knowing how much she liked that, and tried not to feel helpless as he soothed her.

“Tessa, darling, it’s hardly a surprise that you’d feel sad and, yes, depressed at times. My God, what you’ve had to endure in your life - most people never experience even a fraction of those sorts of hardships.” He kissed her softly, tenderly. “You might think you’re weak, or not especially bright, but to me you’re the strongest, smartest, most capable person I’ve ever known. I am in complete awe of you, love.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled a little closer. “Thank you,” she whispered. “For listening to me and understanding.”

“I will always be here for you, Tessa,” he told her earnestly. “You’re never going to be alone again. Or frightened. And definitely not homeless. I can’t even process that idea yet - it makes me want to hit something when I think about it. But you can be damned certain nothing or no one is ever going to hurt you again, so long as I’m alive and kicking.”

She fell asleep in his arms not long afterwards, emotionally exhausted from everything she’d just told him. He carried her upstairs to his room and undressed her carefully, leaving her clad only in the black lace bra and panties she’d obviously worn to please him. But as beautiful and tempting as she was, he kept his libido in check, for this was not a night for amorous activity. Not when she was so vulnerable, so in need of comfort and support. Instead, he covered her with the duvet, brushing her hair back with a tender hand, before returning to the library.

It was a long time and two more snifters of brandy later before he felt the least bit sleepy. What Tessa had just told him, the sad picture she’d drawn for him of her life, made him feel sick at heart when he tried to imagine how lost and lonely she’d been. Unbidden, images of her at various points in her life flitted through his mind - one of a small, innocent child left to fend for herself while her mother was too deeply mired in depression to even get out of bed; the next of a shy, lonely adolescent girl beginning her first day at what was her third new school that year, desperately trying to catch up with the lessons; and the last and most disturbing image - that of a teenaged Tessa, alone and forced to sleep in her car because she had no family or friends to take her in.

And yet she’d come through all of that without any obvious emotional scars, save for the shyness she still exhibited, and her fear of succumbing to the dark depression that had ultimately been responsible for her mother’s death. She had taken the required steps to acquire a good job, to support herself and make certain she would never again be a victim of poverty. And throughout the telling of her story, Tessa had never once complained about the lot life had dealt her, or expected sympathy because of it. It was remarkable, really, what she and her soon-to-be ex-husband had made of themselves, given their unfortunate upbringings. From what he’d surmised, Tessa and Peter had both worked hard to support themselves with multiple jobs and had lived a very frugal lifestyle.

And learning about the abuse Peter had suffered as a boy, and the subsequent effect it had had on his relationship with Tessa explained quite a bit. Peter’s seeming inability to be intimate with his gorgeous young wife made it clear to Ian why Tessa was so inexperienced sexually.

‘Christ,’ he thought in some amusement, ‘she’s practically a virgin, mate.’