“Did he tell you he’d let you go?” Liam fires off.

“No.”

“I’ll never know for sure, Natalie. I’ll always wonder if you really loved me or if I was just the consolation prize. So take the six months and figure it out. Know that no matter what, when I get back I’ll be hoping you’re there. If you are, I’ll marry you. I’ll do anything you want to prove how much I want you.”

My heart rate quickens, and I wait for him to say more.

“This isn’t about me fighting for you. I know you keep saying I’m giving you up, but I’m not. I’ll never stop hoping you’ll still choose me when this is all over. I just can’t watch you decide. I see the way he looks at you. He’s made it clear he wants you back. I never wanted to lose you in the first place.”

I grip his shirt and pull myself to him. “You never will.”

“I hope that’s true. You have no idea how much I want that to be the case.”

“Have faith in us, Liam.”

He presses his lips to the top of my head. “I do, sweetheart. I just need a minute.”

Liam walks me back to the party with his hands in his pockets. Both of us keep our heads down. I don’t know how I’ll endure six months of not knowing. But I do have faith in us, and I won’t let that falter. I have to make him believe me. As we approach the deck, Aaron is standing there watching us.

“Hey.” He looks at both of us and guilt eats at me. “I woke up and your mom said you all headed to the lighthouse.”

“Yeah, I came upstairs but you were asleep. Jackson proposed to Catherine and he asked us all to come,” I explain, hoping he’ll drop it.

He looks toward the ocean. “Where’s everyone else?”

“They’re coming. Do you feel better?”

Aaron looks at Liam with hate in his eyes. “I did until now.”

“Stop it,” I chastise him. “I’ve been honest with you. I’m not sneaking behind your back and doing God knows what while we were still married. I’m not keeping half truths or secrets.”

“I thought you would give us time before you moved in on her again?”

Liam steps forward, pushing me behind him protectively. “I wish you’d seen the wife you love so much when she found out about your girlfriend. The pain in her eyes, the way she cried and then drank herself stupid. Or maybe you could’ve seen the way she wanted to kill Brittany after she found out about her pregnancy. My word means something to her . . . does yours?”

I never told Aaron about the baby. I wanted to see if he was really lying about his relationship with Brittany. So much for that plan.

Liam stares Aaron down, and I push him back, but he doesn’t budge.

“What?” Aaron asks.

“You didn’t tell him?” Liam turns to me with his jaw slack.

The blood drains from my face leaving me colorless. As much as I wanted to not mention the baby because I wanted him to tell me, I also didn’t want to acknowledge it. Aaron and I had a host of fertility issues, but the main one was me. I have PCOS, therefore I was the biggest contributing factor. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome causes my hormones to constantly be unbalanced and renders me practically infertile. My doctor explained even if I could get pregnant, I needed to be aware I was very high risk.

“I didn’t know how,” I mutter.

“Lee, look at me.” Aaron steps forward, and my heart begins to sputter. It hurts all over again.

Liam’s eyes implore me to tell Aaron. “Acknowledging the baby to him is a reminder that it’s me who couldn’t have a baby. I didn’t want to face that so soon.”

He nods and then I turn to Aaron. “I know it all. I know about your relationship you keep telling me is nothing. And I know about the baby you and your girlfriend were having.” I look at the now practically empty home except for my parents and Reanell. “Now’s the time to be brutally honest because there’s nothing that can hurt me more at this point.” Aaron sits on the step and now I wait.

“I think this is something you and I should discuss privately.”

I half laugh. “I didn’t get that luxury finding out. I had to be in a crowded bar with all of our friends when I found out that you, the man I would’ve never imagined, cheated. I had to stand there and have her tell me about how much she loved you. And while you may not have loved her the way she did, I saw her pain.” My voice is low, but he cringes.

“All I could think about was you,” he says, not fully admitting what he did. “So you’re going to throw it all away? Our whole life?”

And there it is. For the first time, he’s not denying or circumventing how deep their relationship was. “Did you know she was pregnant?”

“Yes,” Aaron says, barely audible.

No matter how much I love Liam, this still hurts. Aaron wasn’t just some guy. He was my partner and the one person who promised to love me and honor me. I was guilt-ridden after he was gone about having any kind of feelings for another man.

“So was all of what you said a lie? Were you in love with her?” I ask him unsure if it matters at this point.

Aaron stands, and Liam’s arms hold my shoulders from behind. Here I am between them both. “No, I loved her. It wasn’t even an inch of the love I have for you. Being held over there reminded me of that. I made vows and promises to God and anyone who would listen about the man I’d be when I came home,” he says looking straight into my eyes. “I love you, Natalie. I always have and I always will.”

“You broke the very core of our marriage.”

“I can fix it,” he pleads with me. “I fought for you. I lived for you. Please, give us a chance.”

We stare at each other, and I see the man I promised to love in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. I’m torn in half and burnt to ash. Everything inside of me is dead. How do I do this? How do I break him when he’s already broken? I know that my answer right now will kill him in some form, and if I spare him it’ll be in false hope. Then, the added pressure of knowing Liam will hear whatever I say.

“I can’t do this with you both,” I finally reply exasperated and overwhelmed. “You’re literally killing me. Inside I’m a mess. I cry all the time, I can’t remember the last time I slept without waking in a pool of sweat. You broke me when I found out. I literally tore everything you touched apart. I don’t know who you are anymore,” I say and clutch my stomach.

I turn to Liam and prepare to unload on him. “And you. I love you so much it is physically hurting me to be away from you. But you keep pushing me into someone else’s arms. You leave in three days and I’m dying inside. How can you push me away and then know you could get hurt or worse? All I want to do is curl into your arms and you tell me it’s all going to be okay, but you won’t give me that. Instead you tell me we need to spend time apart?” I ask as the tears fall. “I hate what you’re all doing to me. Am I the only one here that sees how fucked up this is?”

I look to them both and they stand there. I want to throw something, scream, cry, and lose it for once. I’m always the one holding it together. Trying to make our lives easy. I’m a mother, friend, daughter, and lastly I get to be a woman. Well, this time . . . I’m a woman first. I have to give myself a chance to come through this.