“You think I don’t have sympathy for what you feel? You’re fucking kidding me. I’ve never said a word, but I’m fighting a damn ghost.” Liam’s words are sharp and he’s clearly upset.

“You’re fighting something on your own. I’ve never made you feel that way.”

His eyes meet mine before he turns away again. “Maybe not, but seeing you with that razor. Clutching it to your chest wasn’t my imagination.”

“You have two choices,” I say determined to end this, because he’s making it something it’s not. “You can either trust me when I say you have nothing to worry about or you can leave.”

“So easy for you?”

“Don’t.” I say with no room for an argument. “Don’t you dare make this my fault. This is all you.”

Liam steps toward the door and my heart sinks. His hand rests on the doorknob and he turns to me. “I just need a minute. I’ll be right back.”

I nod, understanding. “I can handle a minute.”

He steps toward me, and in an instant, I’m in his arms. He holds me close and breathes me in. “It’ll never be more than that,” he vows and then releases me.

I climb into bed and wait for his minute to pass.

“No, Mom, I hear you,” I say while trying to put the food we need for Corolla in the bag. I figure if we’re going for a week, we should pack what we can.

“Are you going to be back in time for her party?” she asks.

She’s flying in three days before Aarabelle’s birthday party to help. The flight from Arkansas isn’t cheap, and no matter how many times I explain I’ll be back a full week beforehand, she isn’t grasping it.

“Mom, everything will be fine. It’s a two-hour drive and Liam has to be back to work after that anyway.”

“I’m ecstatic you guys are going away again,” she admits. My mother has been extremely supportive of my relationship with Liam. She’s always loved him and knowing how great he is with Aarabelle is enough for her.

“Liam pretty much demanded it. I feel like shit taking off work again, but I’m going to do some stuff from there. I think it’s important though.”

I’m really looking forward to the trip. After about a week of arguing with him on how I didn’t think it was fair to request time off again, Liam made a valid point. I work with a team of former SEALs. All of them have had deployments and work ups, they all know what it’s like to be the one leaving and wouldn’t begrudge me a chance to spend the time with him.

Of course Mark gave me no argument and said he didn’t even need to run it by Jackson. I still felt guilty and almost hoped they would say no.

“Well, I can’t wait to see you and that beautiful granddaughter of mine.”

“We can’t wait to see you either. I’ll call you when I get back from Corolla.” I grab some snacks to throw in the bag. We leave in three days and at least this time I’ve had time to pack.

“Okay, have fun. Love you.”

We disconnect and I hear a car pull in the drive. The purr of the loud engine lets me know it’s Robin. Great, now he even has me calling the stupid car by its name. I head out toward the deck to see why Liam’s here. He told me he was super busy with training before the leave periods start.

“Hey,” I say, pulling the blanket I grabbed off the couch around my shoulders.

“Hey, sorry I only had a few minutes and I figured you’d rather hear it from me.” Liam looks pissed and determined. He pulls the brim of his uniform cover lower, so I can’t see his eyes.

“Okay? What’s wrong?”

He kicks his foot and I can already tell I’m not going to be happy. “I’m leaving tonight.”

“What?” I exclaim.

“I have to head out for a few days. We have a mission and they need us to go.”

“But your leave starts tomorrow. We were leaving for Corolla,” I say and pull the blanket tighter.

He looks up and I see the resolution. He doesn’t have a choice. “I know. I’ll try to be back . . . they said it’s a day or two. If we can’t leave on Friday, we’ll go as soon as I get back.”

“I’m not taking off more time. I was having trouble with taking the five days.”

Liam steps forward and places his hands on my shoulders. “I know. I’m not happy either, but I have to go. It’s a small team of guys.”

“And you can’t give it to the other chief?” I ask, knowing he couldn’t.

Life of a military girlfriend. Job comes first and we come second.

“Natalie,” he says my name and he grips tight. “I have to be the one to go.”

“Okay, I mean, I don’t have a choice. I hate this. I’m pissed, but it is what it is.”

Liam pulls me close and his lips press against mine. He holds me tight against his body and keeps his mouth fused to mine. This kiss is desperate as if he’s memorizing me. His hands hold like vises around my arms. He doesn’t let up and I can’t help but think how this feels like goodbye. It’s like that kiss where you’re not sure you’ll ever have another one. I fight the urge to cry because I feel it in the tips of my toes. It’s hurting and I try to break away, but Liam keeps me against him.

Finally, he pulls back. My breath is coming in short bursts. “What was that?” I ask.

“I’ll see you as soon as I can. I’ll try to make it back before we were supposed to leave.” He brushes his hand across my cheek.

“Liam,” I try to stop him but he keeps going. “Liam! Stop!” I start to jog after him and he stops. “You can’t kiss me like it was our last and then leave like that.” I hold my arms across my chest and he turns and looks at me.

“I’ve never had to leave someone behind. I don’t know how this works,” he explains.

I haven’t thought about how this would be for him. He’s been single.

I step forward and wrap my arms around his stomach. “Well,” I say sweetly, “You tell me you love me and that you’ll see me soon. You kiss me tenderly and feel free to tell me how every minute you’re away from me will suck.” I grin and Liam’s arms encase me.

“Oh, is that all?” he relaxes a little.

“Well, any compliments will work.”

“How about this . . . every second I’m away from you I’ll feel like my heart is missing.”

“You can do better . . .” I smirk.

He looks behind me and chuckles, “I will think of you every moment of every second.”

“Better, but I could use a little swooning.”

“Oh, Natalie, love of my life . . . I will hold my breath until I can breathe the same air as you and even then it will not be good enough because my lungs will be dead.”

I laugh and pull him close. “Now you’re just being silly.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, more,” I say and lift up on my toes and kiss him. “Hurry back.”

He doesn’t say another word and releases me. I stand here and watch him get in his car. The sound of the engine makes me jump and I fight the tears. I won’t let him see me cry. He waves and I wave back as he drives out of sight.