Unhurriedly, I move to the front door trying to quell the desires I conjure without permission. It’ll be Mark again . . . I tell myself and focus on breathing. It’s like having a mini panic attack each time.

I answer the door and a man is there with his back to me. His arms are thick and his shoulders broad. The tight shirt clings to every ridge on his body. I take in the walnut-colored hair that’s short and trimmed. He seems familiar, yet it couldn’t be because he’s in California. “Liam?”

Slowly he turns, easing into a wide grin. His tall, hulking body blocks the sun behind him. My face falls as seeing him brings it all back. Liam Dempsey. If having Mark and Jackson around is what I consider difficult, then Liam is going to be agony.

He removes his aviators and there’s a gleam in his eyes. “Hey, Lee. I was in the neighborhood. Wanted to come say hi.” His crystal blue eyes shimmer in the sun and I secure my mask firmly in place. If we’re going to talk about Aaron at all, I need it. I don’t feel . . . I don’t hurt.

“I didn’t realize California and Virginia are now neighboring states. Last I heard you were still out west?” Even I can hear the monotone in my voice. There’s no way these guys don’t see it. I’m not fooling anyone, but I really don’t care. I pull my long, blonde hair to the side and grip the door.

I take a second to look at him. He looks bigger, taller, or maybe I haven’t been around enough people. But everything about Liam looks . . . different. His frame takes up more space than I remember and he’s let the scruff grow out on his face. Yet it only helps define his strong jawline. I may be grieving, but there’s no way to ignore how good-looking he is.

“Can I come in?” he asks sweetly.

He’s Aaron’s best friend, his swim buddy, his brother through and through. Liam has been a part of our life for a long time and seeing him makes me feel Aaron’s loss even more. I nudge the door open and allow him to enter. Just focus on breathing, Natalie . . . he’ll leave soon.

“I tried to call,” he says while looking around.

“Oh, I never saw it.” The lie slips out. He’s taken this oath to Aaron far beyond my patience. I’ve started ignoring his calls because he wants to talk about the past. The stories of them in the field, or worse when he wants to reminisce about my wedding. Liam also has this uncanny way of seeing too much. He knows how to read people, but especially me.

He walks over and grins, his blue eyes shimmering with amusement. “Sure you didn’t. We haven’t really talked much since I went back to Cali.”

Because I don’t want to. I bite the words back and go for a softer response. “Not much has changed.” Yet everything has.

“Aarabelle has gotten big and you look great,” he says as he tosses his phone and keys on the table.

“Thanks.”

Liam smiles and pulls me into a hug. “I’m not worried about you dodging my calls anymore,” he says, letting me go.

“Why’s that?”

“I’m living here now.”

What?

Crap.

“Don’t look so happy. I was in the area and wanted to come check on you since you were missing my calls.” Liam’s eyes divert to the flag encased on the mantel. It sits there, reminding me daily how that’ll be the only thing I have of him. I want to throw it against the wall. Smash it until there’s nothing left and burn it. I hate that flag because I’d rather have him. I want Aaron, not some token for his service.

“I am happy. I just didn’t know you were up for orders,” I say as I grab Aarabelle and pull her into my arms.

His eyes stay on the mantel. “Is it really that bad?” he asks.

“No, of course not,” I say, wishing I had some way to pull his attention away from the awkward conversation we’re having.

Liam turns and his eyes stay fixed on Aarabelle. “She’s beautiful, Lee.” His hand grazes the top of her head. “I have something for her.”

I draw a deep breath and cradle Aarabelle close. “Really?”

He chuckles and removes a necklace out of his pocket, “I got this for Aarabelle before you had her. When I was overseas I thought it was something a little girl should have, but . . . well, I’m never having one.” His lips twitch with amusement as he lifts the gift in the air.

Stepping closer, I look at the tiny, green jewel that hangs on the end of the chain. It’s small, delicate, and yet breathtaking, surrounded by diamonds. “Liam, this is too much.”

“Nah, like I said, not like I’ll ever have kids. I’d have to find a girl who actually might like me.” Liam snickers hoarsely and looks out the window.

“Yeah, I could see where that could be difficult for you,” I joke and relax a little. “Thank you though, it’s beautiful.”

He smiles and places his hand on Aarabelle. “So is she.”

She is. She’s tiny and a handful, but to me she’s perfect. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of is wrapped up in my arms. I hold her close and nuzzle her. “Yeah, I think so too.”

Liam clears his throat, bringing my attention back to him, “I saw his car is still in the drive. Have you met with the Veterans’ Affairs people yet?”

I nod and try not to look at him. I’ve put off doing the things I know I need to do. Closing out all of Aaron’s accounts, his will, selling his car, maybe even this house, but I don’t want to. “I’ve been busy.”

He steps closer and his hand grips my shoulder gently. “I can help if you need me to.”

Everyone always offers to help. That’s the thing I’ve learned the most about death. People come out of the woodwork offering a hand. They cook for you, clean your home, fix the broken shutter, but it’s all superficial. No one knows what to say, so they try to do, but after a week or a few months, the help no longer comes. You have no choice but to face life head-on and learn that people forget—they move on. But I haven’t. I live the hell that was forced upon me day in and day out.

“I’m fine.” I give a fake smile. “I have Mark and Jackson if I need them, plus I’m sure you have plenty of other things you need to worry about. You just moved and I know checking in takes a lot of time.”

“I took leave, plus I like bugging you anyway.”

“Really, I can handle it.”

“No one is saying you can’t. I’m saying you don’t have to. Lean on the people around you. He was my friend and you are too, so don’t be too proud.” His eyes pierce mine as he locks his gaze.

What is with these men and their inability to let me be?

“Okay, fine,” I concede.

“Good. Not like you had much of a choice. I’m kinda relentless.”

I snort, “I remember.”

An awkward silence falls between us. Thankfully, Aarabelle stirs, bringing my attention to her.

“Have you heard from Patti?” Liam asks.

“No, she’s pretty much disappeared since Aaron’s death.” My mother-in-law understandably didn’t take the news well. She’s cut off contact with all of us. She refuses to see Aarabelle and wants absolutely no part in my life. She claims if I loved him, I wouldn’t have let him go. I would’ve demanded he stay. If she knew her son at all, she’d know that wouldn’t have worked.