I step toward the door and want to erase this entire evening. Before I open it, I turn to him, “I know you’re not Aaron. I know you’re here, but right now my heart is broken. It’s like I’m back grieving all over again.”

He steps forward and grips my face, and I beg him with my eyes not to do it. “You’re not grieving. You’re hurt and I get that. But if you didn’t find any of this out, where would we be tonight? I’d be in your bed with you. I’d be holding you, touching you, showing you how much you mean to me.”

“Make me forget him,” I say desperately.

“Lee . . .” The apprehension in his voice tells me to stop, but I can’t.

“Please, show me how you want me,” my voice is dripping with need.

“Don’t do this,” he begs, staring into my eyes.

I want him to make this all go away. “Make love to me tonight. Please, I need you to show me I’m yours. Make all I can think about be you. Give me this.” I try to lean up to kiss him but he backs away. The way he looks at me says it all. I cover my face with my hands. This night just keeps getting better and better.

Liam pulls my hands down. “When we make love for the first time, when I claim you, it’s not going to be because you want to forget. It’s going to be because you want me. You’re mine now.” He pulls me close and kisses me. Every emotion Liam’s feeling is passed through us. My stomach tightens as I experience them all—anger, hurt, fear, love, and desire. He pours himself into me.

Liam pulls back and looks at me.

My eyes fill with unshed tears. He kisses me gently and walks away, leaving me feeling worse than I did before.

I enter the house and I want to feel nothing. I deserve a break from every emotion that’s haunting me. The bottle of Jack Daniels sits mocking me. I grab it and don’t bother with a cup.

“Fuck you and your cheating self, Aaron,” I say out loud as I take a drink. The burning down my throat ignites my anger. “I hope she was good, fucking bastard,” I say at his photo and the flag on the mantel.

I drink another gulp and the alcohol flows through me. After getting sick at the bar and the amount I drank before, my body welcomes the numbness. “I guess I’m a real naïve idiot.”

Reanell opens the door and stands there. “Oh, Lee . . . you and Jack don’t need to have a date tonight.”

“Jack, Johnny, hell, any man will do. Except for Liam, nope . . . he doesn’t want me like this.” I grab the bottle and pour more down my throat. Might as well, my life went to shit again anyway.

She walks toward me and takes the bottle. Before I can protest, she takes a long drink. “I figure we can both hate life tomorrow.”

I snatch the bottle back from her and she glowers. “Mine. I need it more than you.”

“Before you grab a straw, I think you should talk to me. Where’s Liam?” Reanell looks around and I scoff.

“He left too. I threw myself at him and he left.” I see the disapproval through her eyes. Good. She can be pissed at him too. “Maybe he went back to the bar to find Brittany. She seems like she gets around.”

“Now you’re just being an idiot. Keep talking like that, I’ll take your liquor away,” she chastises me and I begin to cry. “Oh, Natalie . . .”

The tears stream and the numbness I was hoping for morphs into pain. “How could he do this to me?” I sob and she opens her arms. “I thought he loved me. I was pregnant!”

“I know, I know. Let it out.” She doesn’t try to console me more than hugging me and letting me drench her shirt.

“I gave him everything. I-I don’t get it-t.”

“You’re hurting and drunk, so go ahead and cry,” Rea says as she brushes my hair off my face.

I lie in her lap as she plays with my hair. I mumble incoherently about hating him to wishing I could kill him myself. All this time I thought I was married to a different man.

Once I’ve gotten to a point where I’m no longer hiccup-crying, Reanell helps me upstairs. She climbs into bed with me as I lie here wishing I could sleep so I could get a break from my mind. This is what she did after he died. Mason was away and she’d come sleep here so neither of us were alone.

“I wish I could go back in time,” I whisper, holding back the sadness that creeps up.

Rea shifts onto her side, “Yeah? To when?”

“I wouldn’t have tried to make him sleep with me . . .” My eyes close and I fight the sleepiness. “He didn’t even want me.”

Reanell shakes my shoulder, waking me. “Liam wants you. Liam cares for you and that’s why he didn’t sleep with you. You both deserve better than a drunken night of sex because you found out Aaron cheated. Now, shut up and go to sleep. I’m going to owe Mason a blowjob for sleeping here tonight.”

My lips attempt to smile but I fail. I close my eyes, drifting to sleep where the hurt can’t touch me. I welcome the reprieve and pray Brittany and Aaron don’t haunt me in my sleep.

My house is eerily quiet and I fight the urge to go back to her. I sat in my car for an hour after Reanell showed up. Fought with myself to knock on the door but instead I went home. Sitting there wishing I hadn’t pushed her to come tonight. Selfishly, I’d wanted to force her to be with me outside of the walls of her home, to go public.

After two hours of staring at the walls, I need to see her and make sure she’s okay. The way I left wasn’t exactly how I’d planned for the night to end. I wanted to fuck every memory out of her mind. Show her that he’s a prick for ever making her feel like this, but I don’t want it to be because of him. When I take her for the first time, it’ll be because she’s ready, but I had to use every ounce of restraint I had to walk away.

What a mess this whole damn situation is . . . I can’t really bash Aaron because he was my best friend. But I want to bash him because he’s a fool. I can’t push Natalie to be with me because the guilt of falling in love with my best friend’s wife overwhelms me, but I want her so bad I can barely breathe.

I open the door with the key under the plant. I make a mental note to have her change that. She’s asking for something bad to happen.

First, I see the half-empty bottle of Jack on the living room table. I shouldn’t have fucking left her. There was no way in hell I was going to sleep with her tonight. Not that I don’t fall asleep thinking about it every damn night, because she’s the real deal. The girl you bring home to your mother because you want to spend every day with her. She’s not the girl you fuck the night she finds out her husband slept around.

Anger boils inside because he’s a prick. The Aaron I thought I knew wasn’t so selfish. I can’t understand how he could cheat on Lee. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, and loving. He was so willing to throw it all away for someone like her? Thank God I never touched that slut.

I check on Aarabelle and see her sound asleep in her crib. I love this little girl. I mean, she’s freaking adorable, other than the diaper thing. If she could use the toilet, we’d be golden.

Slowly, I creep open Natalie’s door, unsure of what I’m going to find, but I need to see her. She’s asleep on her side facing me, but doesn’t stir. Her hair falls in her face and she looks perfect. I want to wake her and pull her into my arms. Hold her close. But I refuse to do anything tonight. I look over and see another person on the other side of the bed.