“Keep it up and your name will be something you don’t like,” his brow raises and his lip curls. “You know you don’t get to pick. Call signs are given. They’re a rite of passage and you get no say. I mean, you think I wanted to be called Twilight?”

Leaning in my chair, I tap the pen. “I don’t know, I mean, you look like you could have a thing for vampires.”

He laughs and I follow. “Fill out the paperwork and then I’ll be back.” He walks over and places his hand on my shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here. We need the help with Muffin gone.”

My hand rests on his. “I know it’s hard having them both gone.” In a matter of a few months, Mark lost his two best friends in a manner of speaking. Aaron and he were extremely close. They spent weekends rebuilding Aaron’s car, barbeques on the beach, and then Jackson moved to California. I can’t imagine it’s been easy for him either.

“You know me,” he replies and removes his hand. I look at the paper and I hear the door click closed. Aaron’s death has rocked our worlds and none of us are acknowledging it.

Once I finish filling out what feels like three hundred forms, I head out to find Mark.

Not paying any attention, I open the door and hear a deep voice, “Hey.”

I drop the papers and look up to see Jackson. My hand clutches my chest, “Hey, you scared the shit out of me.” I give a nervous laugh.

Well, this is unexpected. Jackson called the other day to see how we were doing and make sure I was still planning to come to work for him. He towers over me with his six-foot-three frame. I’m not short by any means, but he makes me feel tiny. He crouches and picks up the papers.

“Sorry about that. Catherine says I do the same thing,” he laughs and his eyes light up when he says her name.

“How’s she doing?” I ask. I’ve spoken to her a few times since her move to California, but with the time difference, we seem to miss each other.

Jackson’s joy is prevalent in his features. His eyes brighten, his lips lift, and my heart cracks. I remember being that in love. “Great, we’re great.”

I laugh to cover the pain that’s building. “I didn’t ask about you,” nudging him, I say playfully.

“Yeah, yeah. Everyone cares about her and couldn’t care less about me,” he winks. “How are you doing?” he asks, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me in. He’s carried immense guilt for all that’s happened and offered me a job any time I wanted to work. The flexibility and ability to make my own hours was more than appealing. As a journalist, I had to go when the story came. There would’ve been way too many nights I wouldn’t be able to put Aarabelle to sleep.

I let out a slow breath as he releases me. “I’m living. Liam’s been around taking care of things around the house. He’s helped a lot with the stupid, mundane stuff.”

“Dempsey’s a good guy. I spoke with him last week.”

“Oh,” I reply, a little surprised. I didn’t know they were friends like that.

Jackson chuckles at my response. “I have to check on you somehow since you won’t answer my calls.”

“I answer!” I exclaim defensively. “Well, sometimes . . .” I trail off.

“It’s okay. I know you’re busy and Demps says you lie anyway,” he gives me a knowing look. Jackson is good at reading people. They all are. Sometimes being friends with all SEALs isn’t all that great. Sure, I’m always safe and protected, but it’s impossible to hide anything. Aaron being gone for a while has made me a little lost as to how to act. I drew my strength from him, now I have to rely on my own. Which I think I’ve done a pretty good job at.

“I don’t lie . . . I’m just tired of saying the same thing over and over.”

“Yeah, I remember that feeling,” Jackson replies.

Oh, how could I forget? Jackson knows better than anyone else. He’s been exactly where I am when his wife died. I’m an idiot and insensitive. “Jackson,” I place my hand on his arm, “I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid.”

He gives a short laugh and guides me into his office. “Sit,” he says with authority, but still gentle.

It always amazes me how Jackson can be so hard because he has the biggest heart of anyone I know. He’d literally cut off his arm so someone else didn’t have to be in pain. Aaron always admired him and said it was an honor to serve with him. I think he’d be proud that I’ve come to work for Jackson, even if he died because of the job he was doing for him.

Jackson sits across from me, “I’m not one to talk about Maddie and all that happened. I’ve been better since Catherine, but it’s still something I work through. I know you say you’re fine, and that’s okay, but you don’t have to be fine with me. Or Liam,” he gives me a pointed look.

“I don’t know what everyone expects, you know?” I ask. “I mean, do people expect me to be doing cartwheels down the halls? In love already? Married? Or would they prefer me drunk so I don’t have to feel?”

He huffs, “No, they don’t expect that. They don’t know what to expect either. I refused to date after her death. I never wanted to have a fucking woman near me.”

I smile, because I know where he’s going.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t even say it.” Jackson’s grin grows again.

“You’re cute in love,” I lean back and smirk.

He crosses his arms and mimics my stance, “I’m always cute, but that’s not the point.”

I roll my eyes at his arrogance. They all need therapy. “Between you and Mark, I don’t know how anyone can get any work done.”

“Why?” he asks, confused where I’m going.

“Well, I mean you’re both sooo good-looking. I’m sure everyone just stares all day,” I reply sarcastically.

Jackson’s laugh echoes in the room. “You’ll get used to it,” he winks.

“Cat deserves a medal for putting up with you. One day she’ll see the truth.”

“I’ll marry her before that happens. I just need to convince her that I’m worth being around forever.” Jackson is always honest. It’s the one thing we can count on.

“How are you guys doing?” I think Catherine is good for him. She keeps him on his toes and he complements her.

“Good, she’s doing her thing and I’m happy to be back in California. I’m close enough to San Diego, which worked out well. Anyway, enough about me . . . we were talking about you.”

“Let’s not.”

Jackson puts his hands up in surrender. “I’m just saying you have to do whatever you need to in order to survive, but after a while, surviving isn’t enough. Catherine showed me that. I could’ve been in a much better place if I hadn’t lived in limbo for two years.”

There’s not much I can say. I know he means well, and I know he genuinely understands how I’m feeling. Even I don’t understand what the hell I’m feeling or why, but still. “Thanks, Jackson.”

“Enough heavy shit. How’s my beautiful goddaughter?”

The smile at the thought of Aarabelle is automatic. I love that little girl more than my own life. “Thankfully, after the medicine knocked out the infection, she’s been good. You should come see her.”