“Oh my God!” I scream and run over to her.

Her body convulses and I turn her to her side. Aarabelle’s limbs flail and panic grips me. I hold her as she shakes and tears stream down my face. It only lasts a minute, but my heart is in my throat.

“Aarabelle!” I burst out as she starts to cry again and I rummage through my bag for my phone. I dial 9–1-1. I lift her in my arms and hold her tight.

The dispatcher’s calm voice comes through, “9–1-1, state your emergency.”

“My daughter. She’s had a seizure I think. I don’t know. Her fever . . . it’s high . . . and I don’t know what to do!” I blurt trying to gather my wits. I’m frazzled and frayed. Aarabelle cries loudly as I rock her back and forth in my arms.

“Is she conscious, ma’am?”

“Yes, she’s crying and has a high fever. I put her down to get ready to go to the hospital and then she began shaking,” I cry and every part of me feels weak. My heart is racing as I watch her, hoping it doesn’t happen again.

“Okay, what’s your address? I’m sending an ambulance.”

I give the dispatcher the information and she stays on the line as we wait for help to arrive. In minutes, the EMTs arrive and they instruct me to grab her car seat as they take her vitals. I throw my phone back in my bag, grab my stuff, and climb in the ambulance.

“Okay, Aara. Mommy’s got you,” I say soothingly as I buckle her in her seat. “We’ll be at the hospital in a few minutes.”

She cries and I fight the tears threatening to come again. I’ve never been this scared in my life. Watching her shake uncontrollably was terrifying. I couldn’t survive if something happened to my baby.

The lights and sirens blaze as we rush to the emergency room at the children’s hospital.

“Her fever is still high, but we should be at Children’s Hospital of Kings’ Daughters in a few minutes, ma’am,” the young EMT says.

I’m not sure if I even acknowledge him because I’m so focused on Aarabelle. She’s finally stopped crying, but I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not.

Once the ambulance stops, they rush us into a room where the nurses are waiting.

“Hi, Mrs. Gilcher. I’m Dr. Hewat,” she walks in quickly and heads over to Aara. “What’s going on with Aarabelle?”

I explain what she’s been like during the night and how she’s been extremely fussy. She examines her and explains the course they’re going to take to get her fever down immediately. They need to get an IV started and then they’re going to run some tests.

The nurse comes in and gets the IV hooked up. She makes sure Aarabelle’s monitors and fluids are working and lets me know how to call for help. Once Aara settles a little, the nurse takes her temperature and vitals again. She’s finally fallen asleep from exhaustion and I have a second to think.

“Any changes?” I ask hesitantly.

“Not yet, but the medicine can take a bit,” she says and heads out of the room with a sympathetic smile.

I grab my phone to send a text to Reanell, letting her know where we are and to call me when she wakes. No point in worrying her.

“Sir,” I hear outside the curtain before it flies open.

“There you are!” Liam exclaims and looks panicked.

“Liam?” I stand and he looks at Aarabelle.

“I heard you talking about the hospital. Why didn’t you call me?”

I look at him, his face is ashen and his eyes are wide.

The nurse pushes him back, “Ma’am, do you want me to call security?”

“No, he’s fine.” I step forward and Liam looks at Aara again. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard my phone ring and I saw you calling. You never call me, so I figured something was wrong. I heard you talking about a hospital, but you wouldn’t answer me. I had to drop someone off and then I came running. I didn’t know if she was okay.” Liam barely gets the words out and my heart falters. He looks so concerned.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I called you.”

“Why the hell didn’t you?”

My jaw falls and I see how hurt he is. “Why would I? I can take care of myself and my daughter.”

He closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath, “I never said you couldn’t, but why the hell should you do this alone? I’m your friend, aren’t I? I told you I want to be here for you. I thought . . .” He trails off.

“Thought what?”

I see it in his eyes. He’s holding something back.

“I thought you would’ve called.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bother you.” I don’t know what else to say. I honestly never thought of calling him. Liam’s been so much help, but I don’t want to rely on him.

“What’s wrong with her?” he questions.

I look at Aarabelle sleeping and I brush her hair back. “I don’t know. She started running a high fever and then she had convulsions. I called emergency services and they rushed us here. They’re running some blood tests and they’re waiting to see what comes back.”

Liam comes around the side of her bed and puts his hand on mine as I begin to cry silently. I pray it’s nothing serious. I can’t handle anything more. Between Aaron’s letter the other day and now Aarabelle, I’m going to lose my mind.

Dr. Hewat enters and looks over the papers. “Hi, Mr. Gilcher, I presume?”

My eyes shift to Liam.

“No, just a friend,” he says with an easy grin.

“Sorry, my mistake.”

“Is she okay?” I ask, needing answers.

She looks to me and then her eyes move to Aarabelle. “Right now I’m ruling out a few things but I need to run an additional scan. With her fever still not coming back to normal, I need to be sure. Her counts are elevated indicating an infection. They’ll be here in a few minutes to take her for the test.”

“What are you testing for?”

“Let’s rule out a few things and then we’ll know the best course of action,” Dr. Hewat replies and walks out.

Liam is by my side in a heartbeat. “It’ll be fine.”

“Right. Like Aaron would be right back.”

“Lee,” he chides and then stops.

I wish I had the confidence he does. It must be nice to be the one who doesn’t have to sit around and worry. They go and do. They fight and live off the high while the families sit around and wonder. We don’t know if they’re okay. We just suffer through it. Now, I sit here months after my last tragedy and wonder if my daughter is going to be okay.

He sits beside me and I lean on his shoulder. I’m exhausted both physically and emotionally. What the fuck else is life going to throw at me? Once again, I have to be strong though.

Aarabelle rests and I close my eyes. Liam’s strong arm wraps around me and I take the comfort he offers. I inhale his sandalwood and musk scent, and it calms me. I love the smell of a man. I miss the smell of a man. Especially this kind of man—one that exudes strength, confidence, and dominance. They command the space around them.

I focus on how secure I feel in this moment. The way I used to feel when Aaron would hold me. I think of the letter he wrote urging me to love again. Could I give another man a chance to hold me like this? Right now . . . I don’t know. But being in Liam’s embrace makes me want to be open to the idea.