He frowns down at me, unable to give in to my request and unable to lie. “Ten days, Harper. I’ll never be gone longer than ten days.”

“I can’t live ten days, James. I won’t make it ten days without you. I swear, I won’t. So much can happen in ten days.”

“You will, baby. I promise. I’ll make sure of it. But just relax. I’m not going anywhere. That’s just a what if. It’s not real.”

“It’s not real?” I’m desperate for anything so I latch on to this.

He shakes his head. “Just a what if.”

But this what if just makes me think of all the other what ifs that might happen.

What if those files are really gone?

What if Nick is dead?

What if James really does leave?

And the worst what if of all. What if he doesn’t come back for me?

Chapter Twenty-Six - James

Harper is breathing deeply, completely exhausted.

I’m exhausted too, but sleep seems to be very far away right now. What a motherfucking day. How does all this shit happen in one day? That kidnapping was this morning. That murder was this morning. I still don’t know what that was about. One thing is clear about that—it wasn’t us. It wasn’t us as in the job the Admiral has me doing. And it wasn’t us as in the job I have going with Merc. And it wasn’t us as in the job I have keeping Harper safe.

So Jesus Christ, James, Tet says in my head. What other job do you have going?

It’s a good question.

You know what would be cool? If f**king Tet would take over when those blackouts occurred. Right? That’d be awesome, even if it meant I was certifiable. Because at least I’d have answers.

But reality, James, I tell myself. Stick to reality. Who else is involved?

Sasha, obviously. A lot of this shit today was about Sasha. And just what the f**k? It’s like this kid was dropped in my lap to…

No. That can’t be it.

I laugh to myself. But how f**king perfect would it be to send her? Especially after that meeting with the Admiral. Eliminate her, he said.

What if he told Sasha the same thing?

I mean, it’s crazy. That little Smurf against me? I laugh. She’s good, for a kid. But not good enough. Not even close. Harper is pretty good too. But she can’t shoot. Hell, she can’t even drive.

I sit up in bed and look over at her. Sleeping so soundly, oblivious to all that’s happening behind the scenes. Must be nice.

I get up out of bed and pull out a clean pair of jeans and t-shirt I brought in from the Hummer after our shower, and then I grab my gun and go looking for my new target.

I’m barefoot, so I stalk down the hallway and out into the living room. It’s totally quiet. The moon lights up the room well enough to see, but not much more than that. There are way too many shadows in here for my comfort level. Any one of them could be the kid. I stalk down the hallway and check the first room. Nothing. The door is closed to the second room at the end of the hall. I walk quietly up to the door, lean in to listen, then knock softly. “Sasha?” I turn the handle and peek in. “Sasha?”

There’s a strong breeze coming in from somewhere, like the window is wide open, but all the windows in this house are long and skinny, up near the ceiling. Or skylights. I look up, and for half a second I think this is it, the little f**king Smurf is hiding up on the ceiling like some Company version of Spiderman.

She’s not up there.

But there is a skylight up there. And it’s open. That’s where the breeze is coming from. There’s a ladder leaning up against the wall, slanted at a severe angle. I stand underneath the skylight and call up. “Sasha! You up there?”

A shadow appears over the entrance to the roof. “Yes.”

“Can I come up?”

She peeks cautiously over the side. “I guess.”

I stuff my gun in my pants and climb. She’s on the other side of the roof when I step out of the hole. “What are you doing?” I ask, walking over towards her. She’s got a hand behind her back so I figure she’s been having the same doubts about me as I’ve been having about her.

“Looking for something.”

“Oh.” Hmmm. “Like what?” I sorta laugh. “It’s a roof.”

She nods up at the sky with her head, never taking her eyes off me. “Did you know today is the summer solstice? The longest day of the year.”

“Fuck, well, it certainly felt like the longest day of my life.”

“Right?” she asks, smiling a little. And then her smile drops into a frown so fast my heart skips.

“What?” That question is all it takes for her tears to start. “What? What’s wrong?”

She walks over to the short adobe ledge around the roof and takes a seat. Her gun comes out from behind her back and she wipes her face with the back of her other hand. “We had plans today.”

“Who?” Fuck, what’s she talking about? Plans? To kill me? Does she have a partner? Who is her partner? All this shoots through my mind as she pulls herself together.

“My dad and me,” she finally manages through her tears. “We had plans to go to some secret place where ancient Indians marked the solstices using stones lined up like a wheel on the ground. And I used to know the name of it, but…” She sniffs and shakes her head. “I’ve forgotten what it’s called. And you know what?” Her eyes are all teary with sadness as she looks over at me.

I kneel down where I am so even though we are a good twenty feet apart, we’re at least eye level. “What?”

“I forgot about him too. I forgot all about him until I went to bed and then saw the date on the digital clock on the nightstand.”

Fuck. She’s thinking about her father.

“And I know you said to try not to think about things, but it’s really hard.” She lets a little sob loose. “And my body hurts from this morning. I’m not a complainer, James, I swear. But I don’t feel so good.” She drops the gun on the ground now and then wipes both hands across her face. “My head hurts. And my shoulder hurts. I don’t even think I can shoot that gun. You were right earlier. It’s got a lot of kick to it.”

I don’t know what to say. Is she playing me? Is she really sad? Is she really hurt? What the f**k am I supposed to say?

The silence goes on for too long and she takes a deep breath and lets it out. “Merc was right, I guess. I’m a crybaby. And you hate me, don’t you?”