She blinked back tears, and he had to step around her and tug on her hand to get her in motion. The moment he opened the door and stepped inside, he felt as if he’d come home. He’d been to the ranch several times over the last couple of years, but he’d never really felt that particular emotion until this moment.

He expected Catarina to ask him where her surprise was, but she didn’t. She tightened her fingers around his, and actually slowed her footsteps to the point of dragging. He could feel a tremor running through her body.

Eli pulled her in tight against him. “This is a good thing, Kitten. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

She turned her face up to his and his heart stuttered in his chest. She looked stripped down, vulnerable. Afraid even. “It’s a big thing, Eli, something sweet, no matter what it is and I don’t know what to do with that.”

He ran his thumb down her cheek, tracing her beautiful bone structure, and then dipped his head to brush a reassuring kiss over her mouth. Her lips were trembling. He couldn’t stop himself from pulling her tight into the shelter of his body. The moment he did, she melted into him, her arms circling around his waist, her hands bunching in his shirt as she held on tight.

“Catarina, listen to me. I love you. Those aren’t just words to me. You matter to me. You matter more than I could ever express in words. I like giving you things. I like letting you know how beautiful and special you are to me. That’s never going to stop.” His palm cupped the back of her head and held her face to him. “This isn’t supposed to distress you.”

“I know. I do know that, Eli,” she said, her voice muffled by his shirt. She took a breath, straightened her shoulders and stepped back to give him a tentative smile. “Show me. I’m really excited about it, I just got a little emotional for a minute.”

She looked like she was being led to her doom, but he didn’t point that out. She was too adorable, trying to appear matter-of-fact when she clearly was ready to cry.

He took her through the house, not bothering with lights until he came to the back where his office was. The room was large, built in light oak. When he flipped the switch the walls appeared golden. She’d been to his office before, commenting that it looked a little bare with just his desk and computer in it.

The office had been completely remodeled. There were floor to ceiling bookshelves on two of the walls. In the center of the room two desks faced each another. His held his computer and his usual stack of papers and receipts he could never quite get filed. Hers held an unopened box with a brand-new laptop in it. The books behind her desk were mostly reference, books on the rain forest and various countries. Books he’d chosen because he thought she’d like them. On the floor beside the chair were the all-important boots. Soft, gray leather, lace up with ruffles made of leather on either side of the lace. He’d chosen them because they reminded him of the ones he’d seen her wear. He’d paid a fortune for them, but he hoped they would make up for the ones he’d left behind.

She stood uncertainly in the doorway, her gaze sweeping the room. She looked stunned. Eli cleared his throat of the lump that had formed for no apparent reason.

“The laptop has never been used. I wanted you to take it out of the box yourself, set it up with your own password so you know you have complete privacy and the ability to go anywhere on the Internet and learn about anything you would like. We’ll set up accounts at a couple of the bookstores online so you can order any books you’d like.”

She didn’t take a single step into the room. Her hand clung to the doorjamb as if it was the only thing holding her up. She had tears in her eyes and she shook her head, her teeth tugging at her lower lip.

He dipped his head again, this time to brush the top of hers with another reassuring kiss. She was killing him with her reaction. Never in her life had anyone given her anything. He hadn’t considered the enormity of that.

Catarina pressed her hand to her mouth. “Eli, I can’t ever do anything like this for you. I don’t have anything to give you. There’s nothing I could ever think of that would even begin to compare with such a gift.” She gestured toward the boots and then up to the laptop. A soft sound of distress emerged.

He used his thumbs to try to erase the tears streaming down her face. “Baby, this is supposed to make you happy, not sad. You give me far more than I could ever repay.” His hand moved through her hair.

“Not like this. Never like this.”

“I matter to you, Cat. You show me that in everything you do. I matter. I don’t think I’ve ever mattered to anyone since I lost my parents. You do the things I ask of you even when you’re tired or exhausted. You never object when I need to kiss or touch you. Do you have any idea what it means to a man like me that you enjoy cooking for me? Or making this house a home? That you come apart in my arms every single time I touch you? You gave yourself to me, gave me back your trust after I let you down and you’ve never brought it up again. Whenever, wherever, however I want you, you give your body to me and make me aware you enjoy it. There aren’t very many women who would take that kind of care with their man.”

Her hands went to the front of his shirt, fisting there. She shook her head. “It isn’t the same thing, Eli. Not like this. This is huge. I don’t even have money to try to buy you a gift. You left everything I had in the warehouse. You grabbed my bag but didn’t take a cent of the money and the safe was open.”