“Me too,” I admitted.

“So am I pressing my luck by asking if you’ll give me another chance?”

I wasn’t going to trust her, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a friend to talk with at work or the potential night at Octave. And at that thought, I suggested, “I’m heading to Octave tonight with a friend. Do you want to come?”

Her eyes got big. “Really?”

I nodded. “Why not? As long as you don’t judge my friend when she gets wasted.”

“Have you not seen me when we’ve gone out?” She laughed. “I tend to drink more than I should. Noah’s always on me about it, but I like to blow off steam.”

“Okay. Yeah, we’ll see you there. I’ll text you later what time we’re heading.”

“Are you going straight from your place or...?”

I hadn’t thought about it, but I ducked back inside the cafe. Amanda was behind the front register. “Do you mind if a coworker of mine comes with tonight?”

She shrugged, but she looked surprised. “Sure.”

“Should we get ready at your place?”

“Oh. Yeah.” She nodded more vigorously. “We can drink wine and get ready together.”

Our eyes met and I knew she was thinking the same thing. Just like old times. She flashed me a grin. “Eight tonight?”

“Sounds good.” I waved before I ducked back out. “See you at eight.”

Theresa had been fidgeting as she waited on the sidewalk. Her head popped back up when I came out. I told her, “Pick you up at 7:30 and we’ll get ready at my friend’s place. She’ll want to drink wine before we go.”

“Sounds like my kind of friend.”

Mike stepped close to me. His low baritone sounded behind my ear. “Emma? There is a call for you.”

I nodded. That was his reminder that we needed to go. I waved to Theresa. “7:30 tonight.”

“7:30! See you then. I’ll have everything ready to be ready.”

“Okay.”

As I got into the car and Mike sat up front, he’d been doing that since I now only needed two guards, I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. So many ups and downs, but Amanda was right. It was time to move forward and not feel guilty because of it. Wherever Mallory was, I hoped she was doing the same. A night out with Amanda and Theresa would be interesting, but I knew it would be fun. Then I stopped thinking about it as we drove home. The usual excitement to see Carter kicked in.

When we got there, he was waiting in the kitchen, and I tossed my purse on the counter and threw my arms around him. Pressing my head into his neck, I exclaimed, “I’m going out with the girls tonight. I hope that’s okay. Theresa extended an olive branch and she seems genuine. I don’t know if she is, but tonight will be fun anyways. Amanda’s going too. We’re going to go to her place to get ready…” I looked up and my voice faded.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

“Carter?”

He never hugged me back. Every muscle in him was tense and rigid. He could’ve been a statue made of stone. His jaw clenched as he gazed down at me.

“Carter?” I asked again. My heart picked up as I looked into his eyes. There was something—no, it couldn’t be. My arms dropped as if burned and I stepped back. I started to shake my head. No way.

But as he spoke, he said what I knew he was going to say.

My gut felt kicked in. I was sucker-punched as he said, “They found Mallory today.”

I kept shaking my head and moving away. I wanted to detach again. I wanted to go anywhere else. This wasn’t happening. “Don’t,” gurgled from the bottom of my throat. She was safe. She was away. She wasn’t what he was going to say. There was no way. Ben never would’ve allowed that to happen.

“Emma.”

“No.”

“She was pregnant.”

Oh god.

I fell to my knees, or I would’ve. Carter caught me. He cradled me to his chest and he tucked his chin into his favorite place. His lips brushed against me as he said it, “She miscarried and bled out.”

She was dead. He was telling me she was dead.

I looked away. I tried to be away. I didn’t want to hear this.

“Emma,” he whispered as he brushed some of my hair down. “Emma. Look at me.”

I didn’t. I wouldn’t.

“Emma.”

“NO!” I ripped out of his arms and staggered back. When he reached for me, I batted him away. “No, I said!”

His arm fell back to his side.

I killed him for her. She was going to die and I stopped it. I killed him. I took him away so she could live and now he was telling me—I refused to believe it. I shook my head again. “No. I don’t believe you.”

“The police found her.”

“Where?”

His eyes narrowed. “You can’t go there.”

“Why not?! She was my family.” She left and I thought she was starting over. That’s what Amanda said. Amanda was always right. They were starting over. I was starting over. We had all survived. And now Carter was saying that all of us hadn’t survived. Not her. I looked at him and whispered, “It should’ve been me.”

He jerked me against him and wrapped his arms around me. “Not you.”

“It should’ve been me.”

His arms tightened around me. “Not you. I’m sorry. I’d kill every single person to keep that from happening.”

“Well, you did.” I pulled away. “I got out. That’s what you wanted. You wanted me here and safe. So congratulations. I’m alive, but if I had stayed there, they could’ve traded me for her. She would be alive and I’d be dead instead—”

“Her boyfriend killed her!”

I froze. Ben? There was no way, but as I turned and stared in Carter’s cold eyes, I knew it was true. He would never lie, not about this. “What did you say?”

“Her boyfriend killed her. He went nuts, Emma. She was pregnant. Whose kid do you think it was? I’m guessing not the boyfriend’s.”

I reared back as if slapped. His cold tone whipped at me, but it was true. What he said was true. I shook my head. “Ben would never hurt Mallory.”

“He would if he was high on something,” he clipped out. “My guess, Franco got him hooked. He didn’t want all that cash to walk away. When the boyfriend found out that she was pregnant, he snapped. It wouldn’t be the first time a guy went into a rage.”