No matter what, I’ll be on my best behavior. Elin hoped to make Thane’s life better, not worse.

A daunting task, she knew, because he would resist. She would be poking at his wounds, pulling back centuries-old scabs. But she was up for the challenge. Look how far she’d come already! He considered her a welcome part of his day...and night.

“I can totally tell you didn’t bake these,” Bellorie said, holding up one of the cookies, crumbs raining down. “You know how? Because they’re delicious.”

Elin rolled her eyes. “Enough about my terrible cooking.”

“If you can’t handle the heat, don’t turn on the oven. No, seriously. Please, don’t ever turn on the oven.”

She snorted.

Bellorie waved her over. “Come on. You’ve got to try these.”

Feeling lighter than she had in weeks, Elin skipped to her friend. Life was absolutely perfect.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

A MISSION LIKE all the rest. Productive yet unsatisfying. Thane and the other Sent Ones had killed over two dozen demons, but the prince remained at bay, as always, and now Thane had to wonder where the fiend was and what he was doing...what he was planning.

Nothing good, that much was certain.

A sense of impending doom had taken up residence upon Thane’s shoulders.

Finished for the night, he, Bjorn and Xerxes entered the club and, in unison, drew up short. The Downfall had been transformed. From elegant debauchery to down-and-dirty sorority. Neon signs silently shouted Ladies’ Night! Free Beer! from all over the walls.

In the corner was a booth with a poster overhead. It read Reward for Info Leading to Cameo’s Freedom and Torin’s Return.

Cameo, the keeper of Misery. A Lord/Lady of the Underworld. Currently trapped inside a powerful spear.

Lucien had been a help to Thane, on Bjorn’s behalf. A favor was now owed.

He would send Elandra to research the spear. She was a part of Zacharel’s army Thane usually tried to avoid, but she knew more about ancient weapons than anyone else.

As for Torin, the keeper of Disease, he wasn’t sure where to begin. But Axel would know. That boy could find anything, anywhere.

Anya, Lucien’s blonde and beautiful fiancée, manned the bar, pouring drinks without any rhyme or reason, mixing liquors that didn’t belong together, making a huge mess, and teaching Elin how to do the same. But obviously the two were having a blast.

Elin’s grin was huge. “I’m calling this one the Barking Kitty Toadstool,” she shouted as she held up a glass of glowing pink liquid. “You can suck it, Anya. There’s no way your Mooing Zebra Bird Perch can compare.”

A chorus of “hoorah” met the pronouncement, and Elin drained every drop.

“Do another,” someone shouted. “Only, make it spank Anya even harder!”

Anya threw a knife at the speaker, and if not for the girl’s quick reflexes, the goddess would have taken out her eye.

“Can’t,” Elin said with a shake of her head. “I promised the old ball and chain I’d never do sixteen shots in a single night ever again, and I never break my promises.”

“So, do seventeen, you idiot!” someone else instructed.

“Woo-hoo,” a thousand girls seemed to yell at once, and Elin nodded, as if they were extremely wise.

There were no male patrons. Maybe because there was another sign proclaiming all men would be castrated on sight. A group of female gorgons stood on tables singing.... He wasn’t sure what the butchered song was supposed to be.

“I’m both awed and horrified,” Bjorn said.

“I fear for my precious,” Xerxes said, cupping his hands between his legs. “But I must admit, I love what your Elin has done with the place. The decor is absolutely stunning.”

Nothing from the treasure chest had been used. Only clothing. Bras dangled from the new signs, and underwear swung from the chandeliers.

“Mmm, the man-meat has arrived,” a woman said. Soft fingers sifted through Thane’s wings, and he swung around to confront the culprit. “Yeah, baby. Yeah. Momma’s got a ferocious appetite tonight. She’s not gonna stop eating until she’s devoured every crumb.”

“Hey! No touching!” Elin shrieked, and suddenly she was between Thane and the female—Kaia, a Harpy dating Strider, the keeper of Defeat and a fierce Lord of the Underworld. Elin must have dived over the counter and skidded across the tile. “He’s mine.”

His chest puffed with pride. She’d just claimed him a second time. And this time, she’d done it in front of witnesses.

But he’d forgotten to warn her. Never challenge a Harpy. Unless you were prepared to lose a limb—and all of your internal organs.

“News flash, little flame.” Kaia the Wing Shredder was a redheaded beauty with a mile-long nasty streak. “I done did the touching. So, what are you gonna do about it, huh?”

“I’m going to break your fingers—then your face,” Elin proclaimed.

Thane was about to throw the fragile human behind him and say goodbye to his friendship with the Lords when Kaia grinned and nodded. “That’s better, Bonka Donk. A whole lot better.”

Elin returned her grin. “I know, right. I’m such a badass it’s scary.”

The two high-fived.

“But seriously,” Elin said, wagging a finger at the Harpy. “Thane. Off-limits. No exceptions.”

“Okay, okay.” Kaia held up her hands, all innocence. “I’ll save my love taps for our dodge-boulder game.”

Elin threw her arms around Thane and gave him a hug. “Oh, baby, did I tell you the good news? The girlfriends, consorts, wives—whatever!—of the Lords of the Underworld just joined the National Dodge Boulder League.”

Kaia drummed her fire-engine-red claws together. “All we’re missing for total domination is a supercool team name.”

“Just call yourselves what the Scorgasms do,” Elin suggested helpfully. “‘Losers.’”

Kaia hissed.

“I heard that!” Anya prepared to launch another knife, this time at Elin.

Comments from surrounding immortals—and eavesdroppers—came in quick.

“Oh, no, she didn’t.”

“Oh, sweet hairy goodness, our little Bonka Donk is already laying down the smack.”