A fist grabbed Tristan across his middle, tightening more and more each second. No, he very much needed to take responsibility of things he hadn’t protected her against.

“Even though I wish he didn’t do it, I respect him for it, too. You have to have an awful big heart to care that much.” The strength in which she spoke told him how much she believed it. It made the fist holding him tighten even more.

“If you’ll excuse me for a second. I need to check my phone. I forgot it in the car.” Tristan pushed to his feet and headed for the door. He didn’t have to turn to know Josiah was right behind him.

Still, Tristan didn’t stop until he stepped onto the street. “Tristan.”

He kept walking, kept going until they got to the car because he didn’t want to do this in public. He made it as far as his car in the parking structure before Josiah reached him.

“Don’t do it. Don’t tell me it’s not my fault and that I do have a big heart. I can’t deal with that right now.”

One, two, three, four, five, one, two, three, four, five.

Josiah pried Tristan’s hand off his wrist. “Okay. Can I tell you I love you?” Josiah didn’t stop there. He stepped closer to Tristan, just like Tristan had done with him in the hallway. “Or that I know it took a lot for you to bring us here tonight, and I’m glad? That I love your mom, and that you, no matter what, made her really happy tonight?”

He raised Tristan’s hand, pressing his lips to his pulse. “You make me happy.... And Teo. One day I hope you’ll let us make you happy, too.”

In that moment he realized how much he wanted that, too, how much he wanted to find a way to give them both what they gave him.

When Tristan bent forward and kissed him, his body sang with pleasure, like it always did. The pulses of his heart became Josiah, like they always did, but there was something missing. Someone.

Tristan eased back. “You feel so damn incredible, but it like there’s an empty space, too.”

Josiah’s hands tightened in his shirt as he pressed his lips to Tristan’s again. It was in the way Josiah held him, the way he kissed him, that, as much as they loved each other, Josiah felt the same.

Tristan pulled back, grabbing Josiah’s hand, before nodding toward the building. “Come on. Let’s go get Mateo and go home.”

Chapter Twenty- One

Josiah

Josiah handed a latte to the woman before she walked out of Fisherman’s Roast. He hadn’t had a drop of caffeine today, still riding the high of meeting Tristan’s mom the night before. Still thinking about the way Tristan had touched he and Mateo when they’d gone home. The looks he gave as he’d told Mateo to touch Josiah, as they made love the way they had so many times lately.

A week ago, Tristan would have pulled away after opening himself up. No, he still hadn’t given Josiah or Mateo free rein over his body, and he had yet to take Mateo himself, but he hadn’t walked away after letting them into this life. To Josiah, that was huge.

It was progress, and that’s what mattered to him.

A flood of teenagers came through the door. They’d had waves of people all day, not having much downtime.

As they made their way to the counter, his cell vibrated in his pocket. While the employee at the register took their orders, Josiah slipped his phone out of his pocket to glance at the number.

His heart stuttered slightly when he saw that it was Rhonda calling, but then figured she just wanted to talk about last night.

“April, can you come up here and help Holly? I’m going to take five minutes real quick.” The woman nodded at him while Josiah headed toward the back office. He hit talk, raising the phone to his ear as he went. “Hello.”

“Josiah? This is Isabel. I’m sorry to bother you, but Tristan isn’t answering. It’s driving me crazy sitting around and waiting. I wanted to see if you guys have heard anything yet.”

His heart filled with concrete, dropping to his feet almost like weight, making them too heavy to move. Josiah gripped the phone tighter, firmly planted in the same spot. “What do you mean heard anything? What happened?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line before she spoke again. “I’m sorry. I just assumed you knew because Rhonda said you and Tristan—”

“What happened?” he asked again, finally able to move, but instead of toward the office, he went for the door.

“When I woke up this morning, Rhonda wasn’t up yet. That’s not unusual, so I wasn’t really worried about it. After a while, I figured I needed to check on her. When I went into her room she was gone.”