“I can’t.” All fight left him. His tone was soft, defeated. “I’m sorry, Alex.”

“What are you talking about?”

He shook his head. That was all he did.

Agony and long-forgotten grief broke free again. It was sweltering, overwhelming. I couldn’t push it away. The old Ethan was there again. His ghost was next to me, pressing against me, pushing at me. I was being suffocated. I couldn’t get away from him.

“Alex,” Jesse grabbed me. “This isn’t the right time, but to hell with it—” He kissed me.

He continued to kiss me and he transferred us so that I was against the building once again. His hand slipped under my shirt and he cupped my breast. His fingers wrapped around one and he began to caress me. His lips commanded his entrance. Helpless, I opened for him. His tongue swept in and he melted against me. Every inch of him was plastered against me.

Desire battled away the panic. Then my body came awake and I gasped, wrapping my arms around him. One of my legs lifted on its own accord. He caught it and held it up, using the angle to press even more against me.

I felt him between my legs. I knew he wanted me and I began to kiss him back. My fingers unzipped his pants. They went inside and I found him. Gasping, he hissed against my lips, rubbing against my tongue as I began to stroke him. He was already hard. He grew even harder.

“Your room,” he whispered.

I nodded.

Before we left the hideaway, he tried to adjust himself. His shirt was pulled out to cover him and then we slipped from the bushes. As we did, a large group had congregated outside the library’s doors. They spread over the yard and it wasn’t long before the whispers started. Jesse Hunt, seen coming out of the bushes. I knew this would be all over. A few cell phones were raised, but he ignored them. Taking my hand, he led the way towards my dorm. As we went up the back stairs and into my room, the damage was done.

Jesse wanted to go public and we just had, whether I wanted it or not.

But then he locked the door, took me in his arms, and I stopped worrying. For the moment.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

It was an hour later when the knock came. As I opened the door, after throwing some clothes on and making Jesse do the same, Beth hurried inside. She closed the door behind, locking it, before turning to us. A cloud of doom was over her.

My gut dropped. I remembered the cell phones. I remembered the whispers. I knew where this was going.

“Hi, I’m Beth.”

Jesse nodded, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. His basketball shorts were on, but no shirt. Her eyes lingered over his broad shoulders and I couldn’t blame her. “Beth.”

“Oh.” She took a deep breath. “It’s all over. You know that, right?”

My butt made contact with my chair. I wasn’t consciously aware of sitting, but I must’ve. I was now looking up at her. Faintly, I nodded. “People saw us come out of the bushes.”

“Yeah.” She frowned at me. “Those pics are on a website. I even got a few sent to me and you know how social I am with the gossip mongers at this college.”

I nodded, but I was reeling. What did this mean? I should’ve done something, damage control in some way, but what? I hadn’t been thinking straight. Jesse always muddled things for me. I never had a clear head when it came to him and now this…my heart was pounding so loudly, it wanted out of me.

She perched on my sofa’s arm. “What are you going to do?”

Jesse snorted, rolling his eyes. “Are you f**king kidding me? Who gives a shit if I’m banging you. It’s none of their business.”

“Jesse,” I started.

“I’m serious.” He stood, just gaining momentum. He grabbed a bag and started stuffing my clothes in it.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m packing you a bag. You don’t want to deal with this? Fine. Live with me. Problem solved, but damage is already done. You can’t go back on this. Hell, I won’t let you.”

Frowning as he grabbed my favorite things and put them inside the bag, I could only sit there. Had he not heard Tiffany’s threat? And she was only the first one. I knew it’d get bad after this. It never got better. There was always a valley of hellish moments I’d have to wade through. But then Beth came over and she started grabbing my books. “What are you doing?”

She took all of it. My textbooks, my notebooks, all of my laptop cords, even my highlighters and pens. “What do you think? It’s a good plan. Do you not know what girls live on this floor? I heard the stories. Kara took them to their party and they broke into his room.”

“They did?”

Jesse shrugged. “Worse shit has happened.”

Another soft knock came at the door, followed by Kara’s voice, “It’s me, guys. Can I come in?”

Jesse was closest. He opened the door and locked it as soon as she slipped under his arm. Glancing up at him, she was flushed in the cheeks. “Oh, hi, Jesse. I didn’t realize you’d be here.”

“Hey.” He started grabbing my shoes.

Giving me a warm smile, she came over and touched my arm. “You okay?”

I was still dazed. What was going on with my life?

Beth answered for me, “She’s behind. We’re packing so she can live with Jesse.”

“Oh! That’s a great idea.” She looked around. “What do you want me to do?”

Jesse gestured to my mini-fridge. “She’s got her favorite foods and sodas in there. You can put them all in a bag.”

“Stop! Stop, you guys.”

His bag was dropped by the door and he bent for another one. Underwear, socks, and bras went into that one. He drew out a piece of black lingerie and raised his eyebrow at me, then flashed me a smirk and tossed it with the rest.

“Jesse, stop.” I tried to take the bag from him, but he shook his head and nudged me out of the way with his hip. “Jesse.”

Kara had squatted down my fridge and she blinked up at me from the floor now. “I think it’s a good idea, Alex. Kate and Amanda are outside your door. I know they’re wondering if Jesse’s in here.”

“Who are Kate and Amanda?”

Beth snorted as she zipped up my bag. “They’re tarantulas. Icky and full of poison. I hate those girls. They’re friends with Hannah’s roommate.”