Born at Midnight Page 96


He looked like the girl she saw in the mirror every morning when she brushed her teeth-the same blue eyes, the same blond hair, the same bone structure. They even walked like each other.

And then there was his brain pattern. She kept seeing it in her head and then she remembered how Helen had described Kylie's pattern. But she couldn't tel her mom any of this.

"Plus, I don't look like Dad at al ," Kylie said instead.

Tears dampened her mom's cheeks. "Oh, baby. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."

"What happened?" Kylie asked. "Please tel me the divorce isn't about this."

"No, baby." Her mom wiped her tears, and started talking. "I met him, Daniel Brighten, at the gym. He worked there. He was ... I don't even know how to explain it, but to say he was charming. Almost magical. I fel in love with him the moment I laid eyes on him."

Her mom stared off at nothing as if remembering. "He asked me out. On the first date, he told me that in three weeks he was set to ship out for the Gulf War. Three weeks was al we had. I know it sounds so wrong, and I'l lock you in your room if you ever do this, but ... after that first date I knew he was the one. By the third, I was ... There was nothing I wouldn't do for him. We were inseparable.

"When he left, he told me that when he came back, he was going to marry me. That he'd introduce me to his family. They lived in Dal as, so I'd never even met them."

Her mom's breath hitched. "Two weeks after he was deployed, I realized I was pregnant. In my next letter, I told him." She bit down on her lips, and more tears flowed. "He stopped writing. I thought..." Tears rol ed down her cheeks. "At first I thought it was because he didn't want the baby."

Drawing in a deep breath, her mom wiped her face. "About two weeks later, I saw his obituary in the paper. Now I don't even know if he got the letter."

Kylie's heart clutched and she remembered seeing Daniel pul the letter from his pocket to his lips. Tears fil ed her own eyes and she fought the need to tel her mom about her dreams, about Daniel coming to see her.

Her mom wrapped her arms around her knees as if she was cold. Kylie knew he was here. He stood beside her mom, looking at her with so much love in his eyes that Kylie's own tears came faster.

"I was ... only eighteen years old," her mom went on. "My mom might have understood, but my dad, he was ... it would have kil ed him. Your dad

-I mean your stepdad-we had dated off and on through high school. He ... always claimed he loved me."

She held her head up. "He cal ed me right after al this happened. I told him it wasn't a good time. He didn't take no very easily. He showed up at work and I went out and had coffee. I told him. I don't know why I did. But I needed a friend."

Her mom turned and looked right at Kylie. "He did what most men wouldn't do. He got down on his knees and asked me to marry him, right then."

Kylie thought about her dad, how much he must have loved her mom to have done that. But what happened to that man now? How could he be the same man who ...

Her mom continued. "He asked for one thing, one promise. He never wanted anyone to know that you weren't his." She pressed her hands against her lips again. "Your real father was gone. I was desperate. I never ... never realized how hard that promise would be to keep."

Kylie reached for her mom's hand.

"The day you were born, it was like seeing your dad al over again. You are so much like him."

I know, Kylie thought, and gave her mom's hand a squeeze. Then she looked up at Daniel Brighten.

"I know, if he'd lived, he would have loved you so much."

Kylie closed her eyes and then the words popped out. "I think he does love me. I think he loves you, too."

Her mom did it then. She wrapped her arms around Kylie and hugged her. It wasn't quick, and not even awkward. It was just right. They stayed there by the creek for another couple of hours. Talking about everything. She told Kylie about the whirlwind love affair she'd had with Daniel. They even talked about Nana.

"You know," her mom said. "The day of the funeral. It took everything I had not to find me a tissue and remove that God-awful purple lipstick they put on her."

Kylie laughed. "I'l bet Nana would have appreciated it." And right then Kylie felt another breeze whisk by. It was cold, but it wasn't the same cold as Daniel's. Kylie smiled and knew Nana's spirit was close.

"Nana was special," Kylie said.

A while later, they started back through the woods. Their shoulders brushed up against each other as they walked. Her mom reached over and squeezed Kylie's hand. "Your dad," her mom said. "The man who raised you ... he loves you. I know you're mad at him."

"I have a right to be mad," Kylie said.

"I know," her mom answered. "I'm mad at him, too." She hesitated. "No, I'm furious. But I don't think he could have loved you more if you were his own. This is just ... a midlife crisis." She stopped walking. "Or maybe the truth is something I don't even want to admit."

"What?" Kylie asked.

"He loved me, Kylie. In the beginning, he loved me so much. And I ... never loved him like I loved Daniel. I never told him, but he knew it. And in time, I ... God help me, but I resented the promise he asked me to make. Every time I looked at you, I saw your real father and I felt as if I was lying to you. Lying to myself. The marriage suffered. Our relationship suffered." Her mom waved a hand between them. "It was easy to blame him, but honestly, I'm just as much at fault. I didn't have to make that promise."

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