Blue Moon Page 2
"Well, that's one thing we'll never run out of." He sighs, trailing his fingers along the curve of my jaw ashe leans in to kiss me, his lips making a series of stops from my forehead, to my nose, to my mouth. And just when I think he's about to kiss me again, he squeezes my hand and moves away. Heading straight for the door and leaving a beautiful red tulip behind in his place.
Chapter Two
Even though Damen can sense the exact moment my Aunt Sabine turns onto our street and approaches the drive, that's not why he left. He left because of me. Because of the simple fact that he's been after me for hundreds of years, seeking me out in all of my incarnations, just so we could be together.
Only we never got together. Which means it never happened.
Apparently every time we were about to take the next step and consummate our love, his ex-wife Drina managed to show up and kill me. But now that I've killed her, eliminated her with one well-placed though admittedly feeble swipe to her rather compromised heart chakra, there's absolutely nothing or no one blocking our way. Except me.
Because even though I love Damen with all of my being, and definitely want to take the next step—I can't stop thinking about those last six hundred years. And how he chose to live them. (Outlandishly, according to him. And whom he chose to live them with. (Besides his ex-wife Drina, many others have been alluded to.) And, well, as much as I hate to admit it, knowing all of that makes me feel a little insecure. Okay, maybe a lot insecure. I mean, it's not like my pathetically meager list of guys I've kissed could ever compare to his six centuries' worth of conquests.
And even though I know it's ridiculous, even though I know Damen has loved me for centuries, the fact is, the heart and mind aren't always friendly.
And in my case, they're barely speaking.
Yet still, every time Damen comes over for my lesson, I always manage to turn it into a prolonged make out session, each time starting out thinking: This is it! It's really going to happen this time! Only to push him away like the worst kind of tease.
And the truth is, it's exactly like he said. He can't change his past, it just is. Once something is done it can't be undone. There's no rewind. No going back.
The only thing a person can ever really do is keep moving forward. And that's exactly what I need to do. Take that big leap forward without hesitation, without once looking back. Simply forget the past and forge toward the future.
I just wish it were really that easy.
"Ever?" Sabine makes her way up the stairs as I run frantically around my room, trying to straighten it up before plopping in front of my desk and scrambling to look like I'm busy. "You still up?" she asks, poking her head inside. And even though her suit is wrinkled, her hair limp, and her eyes a little red and tired, her aura's hanging in there, beaming a nice shade of green.
"I was just finishing up some homework," I say, pushing my laptop away as though I'd been using it.
"Did you eat?" She leans against the door jamb, her eyes narrowed and suspicious, as her aura reaches right toward me—the portable lie detector she unknowingly carries wherever she goes. "Of course," I tell her.
Nodding and smiling and doing my best to appear sincere, but the truth is, it feels false on my face. I hate having to lie. Especially to her. After all that she's done for me, taking me in after the accident when my whole family died. I mean, it's not like she had to do that. Just because she's my only living relative didn't mean she couldn't say no. And believe me, half the time she probably wishes she had. Her life was way less complicated before I arrived. "I meant something besides that red drink." She nods, motioning toward the bottle on my desk, the opalescent red liquid with the strange bitter taste I don't hate nearly as much as I used to. Which is good since, according to Damen, I'll be sipping it for the rest of eternity. Though it's not like I can't eat real food, it's just that I no longer want to. My immortal juice provides all of the nutrients I could ever need. And no matter how much or how little I drink, Ialways feel sated. But still, I know what she's thinking. And not only because I can read all of her thoughts, but because I used to think the same things about Damen. I used to get really annoyed watching him push his food around and only pretend to eat. Until I found out his secret, that is.
"I, um, I grabbed something earlier," I finally say, trying not to press my lips together, avert my gaze, or cringe—all of my usual dead giveaways. "With Miles and Haven," I add, hoping it will explain the lack of dirty dishes, even though I know that providing too many details is bad, like a flashing red light signaling LIAR STRAIGHT AHEAD! Not to mention that Sabine being a lawyer, one of her firm's top litigators, makes her incredibly good at spotting a phony. Though she pretty much saves that particular gift for her professional life. In her private life, she chooses to believe.
Except for today. Today she's not buying a word of it. Instead, she just looks at me and says, "I'm worried about you."
I swivel around so I'm facing her, hoping to appear as though I'm open, ready to address her concerns, even though I'm pretty much freaked "I'm fine," I tell her, nodding and smiling so that she'll believe it. "Really. My grades are good, I'm getting along with my friends, Damen and I are—" I pause, realizing I've never really talked to her about my relationship before, haven't really defined it, and have pretty much kept it to myself. And the truth is, now that I've started, I'm not sure how to finish. I mean, referring to ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend sounds so mundane and inadequate once our pasts, presents, and futures are taken into account, because clearly all of our shared history makes us so much more than that. But still, it's not like I'm going to publicly proclaim us as eternal partners or soul mates either—the ick factor on that is just way too high. And the truth is, I'd really rather not define it at all. At the moment, I'm confused enough as it is. Besides, what would I even tell her? That we've loved each other for centuries but still haven't made it past second base?