“So . . . it’s him, then.” He dropped his gaze.

“Stop talking about him,” I said. “This is about me. My life. My choice. And if you really stopped to think about it, you wouldn’t want me any other way. If you have a problem with that, I’ll kick your ass. Right here. Right now.”

He looked at me then. “You’re something else, Lily.”

“Don’t forget it,” I said, relieved that he’d begun to smile.

Connor coughed. “So, uh . . . about the end of the world.”

Ren laughed, heading for the table. When he passed me, he bent his head, voice low. “This isn’t over.”

I didn’t answer. But for me it was over. I knew what I felt, who I wanted, but sharing that with Ren had to wait until after the fight.

When we had all settled around the table, Anika unrolled a large map. I stared at it, my breath catching at the sight of Rowan Estate’s grounds laid starkly before me.

When I looked up, I met Anika’s hard gaze.

“If we’re going to succeed,” she said. “This is what has to happen.”

Anika fell silent, the battle strategy still ringing in our ears. Ren’s hands were folded on the table in front of him. If I didn’t know him better, I would have thought he was meditating. Shay paced alongside Anika. The Elemental Cross hung in two sheaths at his back. I could sense their power even from where I sat, but Shay moved casually, as if he barely noticed the swords’ presence.

Bryn was holding Ansel’s hand. Tess had her arm around his shoulders.

I was wondering if I could do what I would need to do. Kill who I would have to kill.

“We are all gonna die.” Mason leaned back in his chair. “That’s for sure.”

I swallowed a growl when Shay met my eyes.

“Shut up, Mason,” I said.

“Just trying to keep things in perspective.” Mason grinned. “It’ll be a good fight, though. I’m okay going out like this.”

“Mason,” Bryn snarled at him. “Like Calla said, shut up.”

“Our chances are slim,” Anika said. “But this is the only way.”

Ren leaned forward. “This plan rides on Nev and Ethan.”

Anika nodded.

“Have you heard anything from them?” he asked.

“No,” she said. “But we don’t have time to wait. We must attack tonight before the Keepers have time to amass forces when they realize we have the cross. Without catching the Keepers off guard, we’ll never be able to pin the Harbinger down.”

“You’re also relying on Logan,” I said. It was the part of the plan that left a bad taste in my mouth. “And he isn’t reliable.”

Mason snarled. “He shouldn’t be part of this.”

“We don’t have a choice,” Anika said. “His blood oath enables him to summon the Harbinger. Without that ritual, the Scion will fail.”

“If Logan hadn’t turned up,” Mason said, “how were you going to get this ritual done?”

“We’d intended to capture a Keeper and force them to do it,” Anika said. “And we can still force Logan to act for us if he has indeed turned traitor.”

“And you really think the five of us will be enough?” I asked, glancing at my companions.

“You retrieved Pyralis,” Anika answered. “And the rest of us will be engaged on the main front while you enter the estate. We’ll shield you from attack.”

“Except from Bosque,” Shay muttered.

“Which raises one last issue,” Anika said.

“There’s another issue besides Shay’s demon uncle?” Mason asked. “Wonderful.”

“Once Bosque has been summoned, he’ll likely call the Fallen to his aid.”

“Those zombie things?” Shay said. “Well, at least they aren’t fast.”

“They aren’t zombies,” Connor said.

Anika nodded. “They may be slow moving, but they are the husks left of people driven insane by torment. And their attack is just as deadly as a physical assault.”

“Their attack?” My skin crawled, remembering their shuffling gait and Ethan’s cry of grief when he’d recognized his own brother among the Fallen.

“Their touch brings instant madness,” Anika said. “You must not let them touch you.”

“Can they be killed?” Ren asked.

“They’ll go down if you cut their heads off,” Connor said. “But if you bite them, you’ll regret it. And we’ll probably have to kill you.”

Ren growled at him. “You’ll have to what?”

“One of the reasons the Harrowing was so costly for us”—Anika’s face paled—“was the arrival of the Fallen. Our friends and family reduced to that horror, and when our Guardian allies tried to fight them—”

“The Guardians attacked the Fallen?” I folded my arms across my chest so I wouldn’t shudder.

“Yes. And their minds were overtaken by their worst nightmares,” Anika said quietly. “They turned on each other, on us. We didn’t understand what was happening until it was too late.”

“So the moral of the story is: wolfies leave the Fallen to us,” Connor said, patting his sword hilt.

“Gladly,” Mason said, shoving away the last bites of his sandwich.

More Searchers arrived in small groups, their mood somber as they gathered in Haldis Tactical. One by one Weavers began to open doors, and I knew this deployment was happening all over the Academy as the Searcher army moved into position outside Rowan Estate. Anika rose from her chair.

“We’ll fight with all we have to buy you time,” she said, and then turned to Shay. “All our hopes are with you.”

He gave her a thin smile. “Thanks.”

As we stood up, Tess came over and took my hand.

“We’ll be working from the Eydis Sanctuary,” she said. “That’s where they want us to bring the wounded.”

A lump rose in my throat and I nodded. “Be safe.”

“Thanks for lending me your brother, Calla,” she said. “The Elixirs are grateful too. He’s been a great help to us.”

“Take care of him,” I said.

“Of course.” She squeezed my hand.