Blood Bound Page 90


His frown deepened, and his disappointment was almost palpable. “You’d rather have guns than kids?”

“I wouldn’t suggest hanging pistols over a crib as a mobile, but other than that, I don’t consider the two mutually exclusive.” But Cam’s expression didn’t change. And finally I understood. I slid over onto the chair next to his and pulled his chin up so that our gazes met. “Hadley’s not a deal-breaker, Cam. If she’s yours, she’s mine, too. Not like she’s Anne’s, of course. But you’re not going to get rid of me by accepting paternity.”

“Sarafina,” he said, and I blinked.

“What?”

“Sarafina. For her middle name.”

“That’s my middle name.”

“I know. You said if she’s mine, she’s yours, too, and this would make that true. Let me name her after you, Liv. I’ve always thought it was a beautiful name.”

I smiled. I couldn’t help it; I was all gooey inside from a rare moment of mushiness. “Let’s see if it works.”

This time when he closed his eyes, it seemed to mean more. I felt intimately connected to the process, and my next breath seemed to hinge on the gravity of the result. And this time, when he opened his eyes and his disappointed gaze met mine, the breath I held felt too heavy to let go of.

“Nothing. She’s not mine.”

He looked so disappointed that I decided not to mention the other possibility—that Kori had lied about Tower’s intentions. That Hadley could be dead. That was too much to think about at the moment.

“This is so stupid.” Cam leaned with both elbows on the bar. “I didn’t have a daughter yesterday, and I don’t have one today. Nothing’s changed. So why do I feel so…”

“Empty?” I suggested, and he looked up. He didn’t nod, or acknowledge what I’d said, but I could see in his eyes that I was right. And I felt it, too. I’d thought—just for a minute—that he had a daughter, and that she could be like a daughter tome, too. Or maybe more like a niece. Either way, she would be someone small and fragile that I could help keep safe from the world and its iron fists.

But then that moment was over, the fantasy shattered, and I remembered that in real life, I was in love with a man I couldn’t survive and bound to a man I couldn’t escape. I remembered that I collected guns and counted scars, and that maybe I wouldn’t be the best influence on someone as impressionable as Anne’s young daughter was sure to be.

“Well, I guess that’s that.” Cam crushed his empty soda can and screwed the lid back on the bottle of whiskey. “Name-tracking is a no-go, unless Anne has some more accurate information for us.”

“How long do you expect her to sleep?” I asked, and he glanced at his watch.

“It’s already been almost two hours and I gave her a small dose. She could wake up anytime.”

I stood and headed for the bedroom, and he called after me. “Careful. Mama bears wake up cranky.” Especially those who wake up missing their cubs. I peeked into the bedroom and found Anne stirring slowly, sluggishly, on the bed. She was waking up.

I sat on the edge of the mattress, and when I put a hand on Anne’s arm, she opened her eyes. She blinked several times, then sat up slowly and stared at me, her hair mussed as if she’d slept for days. Her nap obviously hadn’t been very restful.

“What happened?” she croaked, eyes still red from crying.

“Cam sedated you.”

“Bastard…” she mumbled, pushing tangled hair back from her face. She cleared her throat, then met my gaze again. “Hadley?”

I glanced at my lap, then made myself meet her gaze. “We’re still working on it.”

“I don’t understand. I left Kori a message directly asking her to bring Hadley back. She can’t ignore that.”

“I know. We don’t think she’s listening to her messages. Cam thinks she’s been ordered not to.” I sighed, then plunged into the rest of it. “Cam tried to track her, but…something’s off about her name, Anne. Whatever’s going on, you need to tell us. We can’t find her if we don’t have all the information.”

“I can’t…” She scrubbed both hands over her face, then left them there, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

I pulled her hands away from her face and made her look at me. “You don’t have any choice, Annika. We’ve tried everything we could think of. Cam tried to track her using Shen’s last name, then yours. He even tried his own, but that didn’t work, and neither did giving her a middle name. We know she’s not his, so whatever you’re hiding…well, it can’t be worse than that, right?”

Anne frowned, momentarily distracted from her tears by obvious confusion. “What? Why would she be Cam’s?”

I watched her expectantly, waiting for comprehension to sink in, and when it didn’t, I had to actually say what I’d been avoiding discussing. “Anne, I know about the two of you. At the party. Six years ago.” Her eyes widened, and I barreled on. “Kori told me. So, on the off chance that Hadley was his, Cam tried giving her a paternal middle name, then tracking that name. But it didn’t work. So we need to know—who is her father? Or at the very least, what’s her real name? The whole thing, Anne.”

For a moment, she looked as if she was actually going to answer, as hard as that might be. Then she burst into tears instead.

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