“It’s beautiful, Farley. Unusual, contemporary, and still romantic.” Ella replaced the other rings. “What size does she wear?”

“Oh, well, hell.”

“Around a six,” Lil told her. “I’m a five, and we’ve traded rings before. Hers are a little bigger than mine. I wear hers on my middle finger. I think…” She picked up the ring and slid it on her middle finger. “This is about right.”

“Must be fate. If it needs to be sized, you just bring her in with it, and we’ll take care of it. Or she can exchange it if she sees something she likes better. I’m going to get the paperwork on it, Farley, and we’ll do the deal.”

Ella crooked her finger so he’d lean down. “And because I once let you kiss me behind the bleachers, I’m giving you fifteen percent off. You make sure you come back to me for the wedding bands.”

“I wouldn’t go anywhere else.” He looked over at Lil, his eyes dazed. “I’m buying Tansy a ring. Don’t do that,” he said when Lil’s eyes filled. “I’m afraid I’m going to water up myself.”

She put her arms around him, laid her head on his chest while he patted her back. Choices, she thought, and chances. Some made the right choices, and made the best of their chances.

23

Farley followed her to the farm, so Lil experienced the sweetness of watching him show off the ring to her parents. There was backslap ping, a few tears, and the promise to bring Tansy over for a family celebration once she’d accepted.

When Farley asked Joe to take a walk, undoubtedly to ask for man-to-man advice, Lil sat down with her mother.

“My God, he was a boy five minutes ago,” Jenna said.

“You made a man out of him.”

Jenna dabbed at her eyes. Again. “We gave him access to the tools so he could make a man out of himself. If Tansy breaks his heart I’m going to kick her ass to Pierre and back.”

“Get in line. But I don’t think she will. I don’t think he’ll let her. Farley’s got a plan, some of which I imagine he’s running by Dad right now. She’s cooked.”

“Think of the babies they’ll make together. I know, I know.” With a laugh, Jenna waved a hand. “Typical reaction. But I would love some babies around here. I’ve got the cradle your grandfather made for me, and I used for you, in the attic, just waiting. And I need to put all that on the back burner and think about wedding plans. I hope they let us throw the wedding. I’d love to get my hands into all that. Flowers and dresses and cakes and…” She trailed off.

“I haven’t given you that.”

“I made it sound just like that, and I didn’t mean to. I don’t have to tell you how proud we are of you, do I?”

“No, you don’t. I had a plan once, and it didn’t work out. So I made another plan, and it did. Now? I’m in a strange and complicated place. I could use some input.”

“Cooper.”

“It’s always been Cooper. But it stopped being just that simple a long time ago.”

“He hurt you so much.” Leaning over, she cupped Lil’s hand in both of hers. “Baby, I know.”

“He took a piece out of me. Now he wants me to put it back, and I don’t know if it can fit the way it did.”

“It won’t. It can’t.” Jenna gave her hand a squeeze before she leaned back. “That doesn’t mean it won’t fit another way. A better way. You love him, Lil. I know that, too.”

“Love wasn’t enough before. He told me-took his sweet time about telling me-why it wasn’t enough.”

As she related the story, she had to push out of her chair, walk to the window, open the front door for air. Move, just move while her mother sat quietly.

“For my own good, because he had something to prove, because he was broke, because he felt like a failure. What difference did any of that make? And besides all that, I deserved to know the reasons. I was part of that relationship. It’s not a relationship if one person makes all the choices. Is it?”

“No, or not a balanced one. I understand what you’re feeling, why you’re angry.”

“It’s more than being angry, though. One of the biggest decisions of my life was made for me. And the reasons it was made kept from me? How can I believe that won’t happen again? And I won’t build my life with someone who’d do that. I can’t.”

“No, you can’t. Not you. And now I’m going to tell you something that may disappoint you. I’m sorry, so sorry, you were hurt. I hurt for you, Lil. I did. I felt your heartbreak inside my own. But I’m so grateful he did what he did.”

Lil flinched, jerking back from the shock. “How can you say that? How can you mean that?”

“If he hadn’t, you’d have given up everything you wanted-every passion you had-but him. If it had come down to him or your personal and professional goals, you were much too much in love to choose anything but him.”

“Who’s to say I couldn’t have had both? Damn it! Where’s the compromise, the working together?”

“Maybe you’d have made it, but the odds were so stacked against you. Oh, Lil,” she said with such compassion Lil felt her eyes burn and tear. “You, not quite twenty and with the world opening up for you. Him almost two years older with his world narrowing and harsh. He needed to fight, and you needed to grow.”

“So we were young. You were young when you and Dad married.”

“Yes, and we were lucky. But we also wanted the same thing, even then. What we wanted was right here, and that gave us a better chance.”

“So you think I should just shrug off the last ten years. All is forgiven, Coop, I’m yours?”

“I think you should take as much time as you need, and see if you can forgive him.”

Lil let out a long breath as some of the pressure on her chest lifted.

“And I think while he had something to prove to himself before, this time he has to prove something to you. Make him. And while you’re taking that time, ask yourself if you want to live the next ten years without him.”

“He’s changed, and who he’s changed into… If I’d just met him, if there wasn’t any history between us? I’d fall flat on my face. Knowing that is very scary. Knowing if I let myself fall flat, I’m giving him the power to rip another piece of me away.”