I wanted to ride the goddamn bike.

Traumatic experiences affect people differently. In the past, I’d always pulled myself inward, shoring up my defenses to create a private, hidden place to let the pain batter me into submission. From the outside, you’d never know the battle raging within.

I’d been building those walls, cementing them even as I said Hail Mary after Hail Mary with Ms. Vincent. I had a feeling she was doing the same thing. Because without those walls, we’d have no choice but to break. And as women, we didn’t have time to break. We were too busy trying to figure out how to cope and fix.

But tonight? Con had screwed up everything. His surprise appearance had derailed my emotional masonry. Instead of standing tall on my own, he’d propped me up, lent me his strength. I didn’t know how I felt about that. But now, instead of keeping everything contained, the storm was blowing out of control, and I wanted to do something crazy. Instead of numbing the hurt, I wanted to feel alive.

I wrapped my arms around Con as we rode. He was so solid. So steady.

I didn’t think when he pulled between the stilts of the lake house. I didn’t try to stay his hands as he removed my helmet. I didn’t protest when he led me toward the back stairs and then up and inside. I waited for him to pause inside the massive sitting room just beyond the doors.

And then I acted.

I shoved him toward the sofa where he’d given me the most intense orgasm I’d had since…that night he didn’t remember and I remembered all too vividly.

“Whoa, princess. What the hell are you doing?”

“Shut up.”

Con’s head jerked back, and his eyebrows went up as he let me push him down into a seated position.

I reached for the hem of the scrub shirt and…my not-quite-a-plan unraveled when I remembered that I was still gross from crawling around on the ground.

The wave of disappointment hit me so hard, tears burned behind my eyes. I’d already cried too much tonight. I didn’t want Con to see me cry again—not when I was just feeling sorry for myself. I spun, turning my back to him, and wrapped my arms around my middle.

“Whoa, princess.” The words were the same as those he’d spoken only a few seconds before, but this time his tone was hushed, careful. Like he was worried he was going to watch me lose it again like I had in the elevator.

I fought back the tears and cleared my throat.

“Do you have a shower I can use? I’m disgusting.”

I felt the heat of his body against my back before I even realized he’d stood. For a moment I expected a smart-ass comment, and then realized I was operating on my old assumptions. He’d been nothing short of amazing tonight—a stand-up guy beneath all the ink that colored my and society’s judgment of him.

“You can use whatever you want. Including me, if that’s what you need.”

Jesus. I was so transparent. “It’s not… I mean… Never mind.” I breathed deeply and took a half step forward, but Con’s arms wrapped around me from behind and yanked me back against his chest.

He whispered against my hair, “Maybe I need it, too.”

I squirmed, and he loosened his arms, as though preparing to drop them. I twisted around to face him. His deep blue eyes lowered to mine. “Then don’t make me shower alone,” I whispered.

I ran a hand down his rippling bicep, skimmed along the colorful tattoos on his ropey forearm, and laced my fingers with his. I wasn’t sure if he was going to take me up on my invitation until he squeezed my hand, trapping my palm against his.

His voice was rough when he said, “Follow me.”

I began to second-guess my offer as soon as we hit the bathroom—at the exact moment I realized he was going to see me naked under the bright lights. No dimly lit bedroom. No covers to hide under.

Shit.

He reached for the light switch, and I almost sighed in relief when he slid the dimmer to illuminate the bathroom only halfway.

He’d still see me, but with the distraction of the water and the dim light, I’d be able to hide some of my flaws.

Con tugged his shirt over his head and tossed it to the gray travertine floor and reached inside the glass enclosure to turn on the shower.

All thoughts of my body issues evaporated when I stared at him. My eyes feasted on the tanned and inked skin stretched over ridges of defined muscle. It’d been two years since I’d last seen him shirtless, and he’d definitely made some changes. He was still as ripped as he’d been then, but there were more tattoos. I’d be hard pressed to pick and choose exactly which were new, because unfortunately I didn’t have a photographic memory.

Although I did find it hard to believe I’d ever forget what I was seeing right now.

“Your turn, princess.”

Uh. What?

He’d turned back to me, and I’d been so caught up in cataloging the ripple of his obliques and flex of his pecs, I’d completely forgotten what I was doing.

I dragged my eyes from his chest up to his smirking lips. He’d clearly taken note of my detailed inspection.

He stepped toward me, and every muscle in my body clenched, including the inner ones.

Moving slowly, as though waiting for me to back away or protest, his huge hands drifted to the hem of my scrub top. When I stayed still, he slipped both hands beneath it, skimming up the curves of my waist and ribs, raising the shirt as he went.

“Arms up.”

Inhaling sharply, I complied with his command, and my vision went dark for a moment as he pulled it up and over my head. Wearing only the strapless bra that had been necessary for my cocktail dress, I stood in front of him. This time it was his eyes that strayed—or rather caught on my chest as it lifted with my heaving breaths.

Heaving bosoms.

I don’t know where the thought came from, but it was so ridiculous I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped.

Con froze, hands hovering just inches from my sides.

“You about to lose your shit, sweetheart? Because we can stop right here, and I’ll pretend I’m a gentleman for once in my life, and leave you to shower in peace.”

Trying—and failing—to wipe the slight smile off my face, I said, “It’s not that. I’m…just ignore me.”

This time he chuckled. “Like I’ve tried to ignore you for years? Hasn’t worked yet. Doubt it’ll work now.” His eyes dropped meaningfully and lingered on my body. “Especially when I’ve got you almost naked, and I’m fucking sober this time.”