“You want me to show you how to take me? Want me to fuck your face?”

Oh God. Something about those words had me ready to beg for it.

I slid my lips away with a pop and answered. “Show me what you like. I want to know.”

His lips curled up into a sensual smile. “I fucking love that you want to know.” Rhett angled his hips and skimmed the back of two fingers across my chin. “Ready?”

I nodded, taking the head in my mouth again.

“When you feel like it’s too much, swallow.”

Stroke after stroke, he fucked my mouth, getting me used to the length, until he bumped the back of my throat and I fought the urge to gag.

He gave my hair a squeeze and my gaze shot up to his. “Next time, swallow.”

I could do this. I wanted to do this. It became a personal mission.

Rhett slowly worked me up again, and instead of gagging when he hit the point of no return, I swallowed and breathed. He paused to make sure I was okay, and I gave him another nod.

Holy shit, I’m deep throating. I’m officially a sexual rock star. I gave a mental fist pump as Rhett’s features twisted into a mask of pleasure. He might have been trying to hold out, but it didn’t work.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come. You taking it?”

I didn’t pull back, so he let loose, the salty heat bursting into my mouth and down my throat.

As soon as he moved away, footsteps pounded toward us.

“You okay? We heard a noise!” someone called, and I thought it sounded like Carver.

Rhett slid back into the water and used his body to block mine. “We’re all good. Give us five minutes to get back inside, and we’ll be locked down for the night.”

I didn’t need a mirror to know my face was on fire.

“Yes, sir.”

As the footsteps receded, Rhett turned to me. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“And somehow I’m not even sorry about it.” I winked, and he laughed before wrapping his arms around me and dunking us both.

51

Rhett

After I enfolded Ari in a towel, I carried her back into the house and to the shower. As water poured down on us from the massive spouts, the chlorine washed away but something else remained.

Guilt.

I was here, getting a glimpse of the future I wanted, and none of this would have happened if my dad hadn’t been killed.

Ari finished rinsing her hair and caught my stare. She read me easily. “What’s wrong?”

“If my dad was still alive, I’d probably be sitting in my Jeep, waiting to catch a picture of a cheating spouse and ignoring his call. He gets murdered, and all of a sudden I’m getting everything I wanted.”

She watched me with sad eyes before reaching out to place a hand on my arm and squeeze. “I’m sorry. So damned sorry that it happened this way.”

“Me too.” I looked up at the ceiling. “You know he called four times in the two days before he died, and I never answered?”

She bit her lip but said nothing.

“What kind of son does that? What kind of person does that?”

“Rhett—”

I shook my head and kept talking. “When I talked to my mom, she basically told me that digging for evidence to prove him innocent was a waste of time. She thinks he did it. She said money would magically appear.” I closed my eyes as the truth crashed down on me once more. “Maybe he wanted to come clean. Maybe he knew they were coming after him and wanted my help. But I’ll never fucking know because I was too damned angry to listen to him.”

“You couldn’t have known it was your last chance.”

My eyes snapped open and fixed on her. “What if I could’ve stopped it? Changed things? Instead, I did nothing. I’ll never know the entire truth. Ever. And now I have to live with that for the rest of my life.”

Ari wrapped her arms around me and laid her cheek against my chest. “I wish I could change it for you. I wish I had the ability to turn back time and give this back to you. But I can’t.” She snuffled. “None of us can. We make choices and we have to live with them. There was no way you could know.”

“If I hadn’t been so stubborn, I wouldn’t have lost the only chance I had to make peace with this.”

“What would you have said to him?”

I dropped my chin to rest on her head and thought of how the conversation might have gone if my dad had admitted what he’d done. “I probably would’ve hung up . . . at least at first.”

“And then what?”

Imagining the conversation was like shredding my insides with dull knives. “I would’ve asked him why he did it. I would’ve wanted to know if he realized what he’d done.”

Ari hugged me tighter. “And if he said he regretted it? Wished he’d never done it? Could you have forgiven him?”

I thought of my father’s remorse. How much he probably regretted putting my mom in danger. The more I thought about it, the more I could see why he didn’t come forward sooner. When you were dealing with the cartel, talking meant not only were you risking your life, but your family’s as well. Maybe my dad had a weak moment and got into something too big to get out from under.

Could I have given him my forgiveness?

Water droplets slid down my cheeks, and I didn’t know if it was from the spray or another source.

“He was my dad. The best man I’d ever known until—” I broke off, not wanting to say it.

“He was human, Rhett. People make mistakes. I thought my dad was invincible too, but he’s not.”

“But he didn’t betray everyone who believed in him!” My shoulders shook.

Ari pressed her lips to my chest. “No, but you have to give him grace anyway. Holding on to the anger isn’t going to change what happened. Someday, you’re going to have to forgive him—and yourself. You won’t be able to move on until you do.”

Intellectually, I knew she was right, but it wasn’t easy. The tight grip that held my anger and feelings of betrayal loosened a little.

He was human.

My father was only a man. An imperfect man. A man who believed he deserved more than he was being given, so he found a way to get it—and paid the ultimate price.

There was nothing I could do to change what happened. He’d already suffered for the sins he’d committed.