Beholden Page 56
Vindication. Piper deserves to be alone and miserable. After the hell she’s caused in my life, I should only be seeking revenge, instead I almost feel sorry for her. She’s going to live a sad and lonely life. But … not my problem.
I hear clapping coming from outside and when I spin my chair. Taylor is standing there clapping. “Bra-fucking-vo, my friend. That was spectacular.”
“She had it coming.”
“Ummm, yeah, she did. I wish you would’ve slapped her.”
“Who are you and what have you done with my sweet, Midwestern assistant? The one who would’ve told me I should just pray for her,” I ask.
“I killed her,” she winks and walks into the office.
The text alert pings on my phone and I open the message.
Jackson: Did you know a one-minute kiss burns 26 calories?
I sit and focus on my phone wondering what is going on and why he wants me to know this tidbit of information.
Me: I did not know this, but thanks—I think.
Jackson: I think you should come over and burn some calories before your flight.
I laugh and look at the phone. He’s incorrigible.
Me: You need help. Thank you for my flowers.
Jackson: I mean it.
Me: Mean what? The card or the kissing?
Jackson: Both.
Me: I’m sure you do. I can’t … I wish things were different.
Jackson: Me too, baby. Call me when you land. I love you, Catherine.
I put the phone away and Taylor sits there smiling at me. I completely forgot she was there.
“Sorry, it’s Jackson,” I explain.
“I figured as much. Can I ask you something?”
I already have a feeling it has to do with Jackson, but I allow her anyway. “Sure.”
“Do you regret choosing the job?” she asks earnestly.
The question I can’t really answer because regret isn’t really what I feel—it’s sorrow. “No, I don’t regret it. I think it’s more like I wish we could go back in time. Things would be different, but then again who knows? Because if I was offered the position and I turned it down I would regret that. Especially if things didn’t work out between us, and let’s face it … my relationship with Jackson hasn’t been easy. So maybe us not being together allowed me to follow my dream without having to question what to do about him.”
Taylor smiles. “I get that. When I moved here to follow Quinn, I kept thinking what if we broke up once we got here? But then I figured I’d be in New York City and I had the job here so I knew I’d be okay.”
“I’m glad we are able to part as friends though. It doesn’t hurt any less knowing that we both love each other and can’t be together, but at least I’m not leaving thinking there’s a wife somewhere. I can think of him and smile instead of wanting to punch him in the junk.”
My heart still yearns for him. I don’t know if that feeling will ever go away but at least I can have a tiny part of him. If or when he meets someone, I don’t know how I’ll handle it. The idea of him being with anyone else is too much right now.
“I’m proud of you, Cat.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I wink as Taylor and I laugh. We finish up packing my office, then it’s time for me to leave. I’m having dinner with Ashton and then my flight is early tomorrow morning.
“Okay,” I say and take a deep breath. “Be strong. Don’t take any of Elle or Piper’s shit. My phone is always on and available to you,” I say as my lip quivers. I hate saying goodbye. “You’re one of the best people I know and I’m so proud of you.”
Tears fall from Taylor’s eyes and she nods. “Don’t ever doubt yourself, Catherine. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever known. I hope you know how much I’ve learned from you. Thank you for not only being one of the most incredible people to work for, but also one of my best friends. I’m going to miss you so much,” Tay chokes out and hugs me.
“I’m going to miss you too but I’ll be back to visit.” I return her hug and try to stifle my own tears.
“You’ll come back for the wedding, right?” Taylor asks.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
We embrace again and I leave my office for the last time. When I close the door a part of my heart breaks while another part comes to life at the new adventure I’m embarking on.
Now I have to go home and somehow manage to leave Ashton behind.
On my train ride home, I think more about Taylor’s question. I don’t regret anything because it’s brought me to where I am, but it makes me sad to think I would’ve given up an opportunity like this for anyone. I don’t believe Jackson would’ve asked me to, but I probably would’ve wanted to stay with him. Which I probably would regret later on and possibly would’ve resented him instead.
When I get home, Ashton is sitting on the couch in her pajama pants.
“Aren’t we going to dinner?” I ask.
“Nope.”
What in the hell?
“Okay? I thought that was our plan.”
She shuts the television off and stands with her hands on her hips. “I’m mad at you, Biffle.”
“For what?”
This should be good.
“I don’t know. I just want to be mad at you!” Ashton cries out and falls on the couch.
I sit on the couch next to her and lay on her lap. “I’m going to miss you too. This is so hard, Ashypoo. These goodbyes suck.”
Ashton runs her fingers through my hair and her lips purse. “I’m sorry. I know this is hard for you.” She puts the mask I know so well up, making sure she protects herself.
After a few moments of silence, Ashton starts up again, only this time her tone is light and playful. “I’ve decided what I’m going to do with your room.”
“Oh, what did you decide? A pottery room or did you decide to make a home gym that you’ll never use?”
The first time we talked about what to do with my room I almost peed myself. She had the most insane ideas, but then again, it’s Ashton. Last we talked she was leaning toward a meditation room.
“Nope, neither. I’m going to make it into a library!”
“I feel as if you want me to react so I’m just going to say … okay then, to the girl who doesn’t read,” I say, shaking my head.
“Jealous much?”
I laugh and snuggle into her. “You’re nuts but I love you. Tell me why you look like a homeless person instead of dressed to go out?”
She lets out a long sigh and pats my head like a cat. “I want to spend our last night as roomies drinking wine and eating pizza. You know you won’t be able to get Jersey pizza in Cali.”
I smile and nod, “I know.”
“I still can’t believe you’re leaving. You’re lucky I haven’t tied you up so you can’t go.”
“I might like it.”
“You probably would, freak.”
“You know it.”
“What kind of kinky shit did you and Jackson do?” she asks laughing and sounding slightly scared.
“He didn’t need to tie me up.” I look up and wiggle my eyebrows.